18 Birth Story of 26 Week Micro-Preemie Twins

Meet Gail, a mother who is finally ready to share her harrowing birth story 10 years after the fact. Heidi sits down with Gail to learn about Hashimoto Thyroiditis Disease and discuss Gail’s frustrating fertility journey that ended with two beautiful fraternal twins being born prematurely at 26 weeks. Gail's favorite baby products are the Little Giraffe Blanket and the Baby Briefcase.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

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TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell, a certified birth doula host of this podcast, birth story and owner of my doula, Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries.

And I believe that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are listen each week to get answers to these tough questions and more birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories, share our feelings, and of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood.

And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes. You will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant. I hope you will stick around and be part of this tribe. Hi, Gail. Hi. Tell us a little bit, yeah. About yourself. Oh, goodness. Um, well I am the middle of three girls.

I'm originally from New Hampshire. I'm married to my college, sweetheart. I'm in medical device sales. So I work in the operating room and twin boys that are 10. Ah, I'm so excited to just dig into this story and we have a box of tissues. So probably say trigger warning, right? Probably we're not going to like jump.

Too far ahead, but the twins were born very early. The tech, I think the technical term is actually micro preemies. Any baby born before 27 weeks is considered a, a micro micro, so trigger warning. This is we're going to probably cry. I got some tissues and we're just going to like dig it, Gail. Let's start with getting pregnant.

Yeah. So, um, wasn't easy for me. I have, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's. Hashimoto thyroid disease, which is autoimmune thyroid disease, essentially. So my body attacked, my thyroid started attacking my thyroid and, um, when we were trying to get pregnant, That was discovered because it just wasn't happening.

Was that family history, or it has nothing to do with that. I don't think, um, so it was just as a random, right. It's different than an underactive or an overactive thyroid, which a lot of amine is very common, but it's an actual autoimmune disease that I just never knew. I had, I mean, some of the symptoms or coldness and hair loss, and I didn't have any of those symptoms, but you're a thyroid.

Affects your menstrual cycle. And so I wasn't ovulating, essentially, because of that. Did you? I had no idea you weren't obviating your having a period. No, that's what was tricky about it. Okay. So sometimes I would go without having a period. Sometimes I would have a period, but you can actually really obvious you can shed the lining of your uterus without producing follow up calls.

Yeah. That's where it kind of started. And so eventually, yeah. We decided to do Clomid and I kept that. I was really ashamed of all of that. I kept that very close to the chest. I was so pause right there. Yes. Did you get Clomid from your OB GYN or from a fertility clinic? No. I never went to a fertility clinic.

My OB GYN was trying to figure out in conjunction with a reproductive endocrinologist who I, who diagnosed me with Hashimoto and got me regulated on Synthroid and got those levels in check. Okay. And then they said, you're good to go. And I still didn't get pregnant. Wasn't getting pregnant. And so sh my OB GYN said, let's just try Clomid.

It's probably not how long, how literally the first month I took Clomid no, I mean, how long did you have, how, how many months did you go without pregnant while active from start to like about 14, 15 months. So after a year, they, you know, when you've been trying for a year. They that's when they kind of start talking about Clomid.

How old were you? 26. So at 26 years old, you had this thyroid condition. You tried naturally to get pregnant for over a year. And then they said, Hey, why don't we start Clomid yes. And then you took Clomid, but you said you were living in shame about that? Totally. This was 10 years ago. Yes. 10 years ago, because at the time I did not know.

Really anyone who had a hard time getting pregnant. I know it's very common now, but I, I didn't know it was common then it's been common for now. Glad that you're on the show talking because the more we have these conversations, the more it's going to empower women to not feel right. I mean, I had two friends that knew everything, but outside of them, part of it is that it was just really a hard time and I didn't want it.

Talk about it to everybody. And in the job that I had, then I, I knew so many people and I was in pharmaceutical sales. And so I was, people knew me, but that was a part I just wasn't really ready to talk about, I think. And also, you know, you're scared and, and there's shame because something doesn't work right in your body.

And I was young. I mean, going back what I have shared it. Yes. Now obviously I'm here, but, um, Then I just wasn't there yet. I didn't have maturity at that point. Did you and your husband, were you in active dialogue about it or were you just tabling it? We, it was pretty much kind of a, like, we didn't talk a ton about it.

He was scared a little bit too, you know? I mean the thoughts of like, well, what if we can't have kids? And how long is this road going to be? And so. You know, he was very supportive and concerned, but we didn't focus. All of our dialogue on, we tried not to, I was pretty consumed. I personally was really consumed with him.

He's super chill. And at one point said to me, I'm married. You like, and I, if we never have kids yeah. I, my life is completely full because I love you. If you are the reason you are more important to me than anything. If for some reason we can't have kids biologically, like we'll figure something we'll either adopt or he never, he never made me feel like.

It was going to cause division in our marriage at all that just like tears in my eyes like that. Here you have this man. That's telling you, I rather be your husband than be a dad if I had to choose. And that's just like, Oh God, okay. Just get me from the beginning. So take a breath. Walk me through when you started Clomid how did that make you feel?

I'm nervous and excited. Okay. Excited. Because there was now like. Just hope, you know that, okay, we're going to Virgin to do an ultrasound. You know, she walked in, my doctor was very clear about like, we're going to take this, you can take it up to six months. Don't get your hopes. You know, you haven't really had a normal cycle in quite a while, so let's see how your body responds to the Clomid.

Um, so w I took that, went back in and had an ultrasound and she said, It looks like there's one good follicle may be too, but don't get your hopes up, but you know, you've got like a 48 hour window get to it. Yeah. And we'll see you back, you know, in about two weeks because you take Clomid, I think you start on day 10 or.

I think it was day 10, you start then oral it's oral. It's just a pill. It's just like a pill, just a little pill. You don't feel, you know, she said there, there could be, you know, hormone imbalances, you might be moody. You might be exhausted. You, you know, you could have a physical response to the Clomid, but I never had any of that.

I took the pill. I felt. Like I, for the first time and you know, for a year was like, this could actually happen. Like I have a fall, I have a follicle. Yay. Um, maybe two. Yes. Okay. And at that point we didn't talk about twins. We didn't talk about multiples because even with Clomid, that percentage is like 3% multiples.

It Clomid is the first step in fertility from, I don't know if things have changed since I believe it's still the first time. So. You know, it's still a relatively low percentage of people who have multiples that route. My doctor sure. Didn't even mention multiples at my appointment. She said, just see an actually made me think it was more likely that I wouldn't work.

And so not to get my hopes up again, you know, at day 27, I was like, I can't wait any longer. I had an appointment. You know, for like the following week she, cause she said just set an appointment either way, wants you to come in. And I couldn't wait. I got home from work, took a pregnancy test and I mean the midnight, it, that P hit the stick.

It was the brightest red line. For a positive test I'd ever seen. And I had a couple of times thought maybe there was a chance I was pregnant through that year before and taken tests and like waited and looked in different levels of light to see if maybe like there was a faint light. So I knew, you know, this was, this was a yes.

Wow. Yes, I was so excited. So the first time, the very first time round, yes, there was, yes. Oh, my gosh. And so how'd you tell your husband? I told him he had to come home early from work. I think I was home at four o'clock or something that day I was home early and he knew, and we just both, like I was shaking.

I was so I didn't have the response that I like literally started shaking. I didn't cry. I was just more, I just could not believe it. And we just hugged each other. We just, just talked, you know, I can't believe this is happening, we're pregnant at all. So I went to my appointment and Micah came with me. Um, They started doing the ultrasound and I had never really seen an ultrasound.

Like this would have been like an internal ultrasound that early on. Yes. Okay. Um, and she starts pointing to the screen and I could see two sacks, but I didn't know what I was looking at quite yet. Yeah. Um, she's like, okay. So we have, um, we have two sacks here. And one very clearly had like a green, the light to it that, yeah, you could tell there was life there, the other didn't.

And so she said, I see, can you see this? Like, this is, this is the beginning of a life. And so you're done. Definitely. We have one here and I can't sit. So we're so early. I don't see anything in this one. So you may. Have twins or you might have what's called disappearing twins syndrome. We don't know if these were identical or if they're fraternal, like we don't know.

You have to wait another two weeks till eight. Oh no. Okay. But you were still like, Oh my goodness. There's babies. They're so excited. Yeah. So we decided not to say anything about twins, cause we just didn't know. And, um, Told all, you know, our immediate family and a few friends, and then, um, just kind of waited.

And at eight weeks we went back and there was another heartbeat at eight weeks. Was it also an internal yes. Ultrasound. Okay. And she was like, well, he just was a little late to the game, but yeah, you've got to welcome to the world of like fertility and Clomid, you know, this was the. I've got a question for you now, I'm going to jump ahead a little bit, because I know your boys are Isaac and Mason, and Mason's always been a little bit smaller than Isaac.

Do you think that that one was Mason? Yes. Okay. Do you know that for sure? Yes. Well, because of the position like baby a and baby B, that's how you kind of talk about twins throughout a pregnancy, a and B, and I would imagine with the triplets, it would be, see ABC, um, was he was always 25% smaller. Okay. And even at birth, he was roughly 20 ABB or he was, he was baby.

And so that, the thing that we don't know is, was that Clomid or was that like, my body actually did ovulate after the Clomid was out of my system as he was conceived later. Wow. At least a couple of days, most likely. Unbelievable smaller. And this sperm stays alive for a couple of, so this is just, this is just crazy.

Okay. This is eight weeks. So eight weeks we start to use the we're having twins. Not I was no exhausted. Okay. I was exhausted. I was a little nauseous. I only. I think I only throw up like one time during those initial, you know, two months really of, um, my pregnancy. Yeah. I was not. I wasn't sick. I was, I felt like I could just go into like a coma sleep that I had never experienced before I would come home from work and just like fall asleep and wake up at eight.

My husband would be like, are you okay? I'm just so tired. And then write it down 12 weeks. I felt like I hit some sort of a stride. I mean, my face was glowing. My hair was glowing. I was like so alive. And that. That fatigue had really like laughed. You know, my first trimester was just a tired one, but then I felt, I felt amazing.

I really did. I felt, and I looked back at pictures. I looked like so alive. And I remember saying to my mom, like, was this how your pregnancies were? Because I feel better than maybe I've ever felt before. And I wasn't ginormous yet. You know, as far as like I was gaining a normal amount of weight, my belly was obviously growing and I looked more than 12 weeks pregnant probably to most people, but I felt great.

Was the Hashimoto's in remission while you were pregnant? No. So I was having to go and get regular. Like every, every appointment with twins and with all the Hashimoto, I was going to the doctor about every three to four weeks. Once I hit, I was like every two weeks, until 12 weeks. And then I went at like 15 and 18.

I was going more frequently than normal and they were checking my thyroid and it was never quite. In check. Okay. So are you able to take thyroid medicine when you're pregnant? Okay. So you continued to take Synthroid? Yup. Okay. And they would just adjust my dose. I think we adjusted it twice early on up, primarily you're going up.

Cause like my body doesn't make TSH. Okay. So your belly starts growing, like when did you notice your. Like that you are showing, do you do? I felt like I was showing it like 10, 11 weeks. Um, and then, you know, I went through periods where I didn't feel like it was growing much. And then all of a sudden I would wake up and I would just feel like I doubled in size and 15, 16 weeks.

I was really showing, I looked more like I was probably 20. I was always about it, but say a month, maybe bigger. Then, yeah. And then around 20 weeks I got pretty big you're feeling good. And your identity is going great. You're going to all your appointments. Yep. Did you have a baby shower? I had two planned, um, for like, You know, 28 weeks pregnant and then another one at like 32.

Okay. So, because we, you know, as we were getting to like the 20, 22 week timeframe, you know, my doctor was saying not all twins, make it to 40 weeks and you know, I wanted to have a natural birth and didn't want to, I was kind of priming her for, I didn't want to see section and I wanted to do this. And I think that I could, and, um, I don't want to go early if I don't have to.

And I was beginning to think those things and starting to formulate like a birth plan to some degree, but I also was not, as you know, I didn't clearly didn't have a doula and I wasn't reading tons and tons of books. I was. I mean, I was very simply, I was just enjoying my pregnancy and I was working and most people start to panic and start buying books and stuff like 30, 30, two weeks, you know?

So it's not abnormal that at 20, 22 weeks, you wouldn't have started any of that. You're just in a lot of people will describe it. Like sometimes they forget they're pregnant like that. They feel so good. Some days that they didn't, they looked down at her leg. Oh, yeah. Did you have any of those days where you felt so good that you were just like, Oh yeah, there's two babies.

Yeah. Yeah. I think so. And I think, you know, because it hadn't come easy, I think. You know, I would maybe forget just how great I felt that Oh, there's to growing inside of me, but I also, I think it was a little possible, a little bit different and I just was my days, I just felt like, wow, I can't believe I'm getting to experience this.

Like this is, I have this secret. And it's, I'm part of this new world of practice women and future moms. And. I thought about that a lot, you know, that I had, I was like, I don't know, completely new phase of, of life really. And I loved it. Yeah. All right, Gail, let's jump from where you were at at that 22 week Mark to like, you know, 24.

Okay. So round 24, 25 weeks, I was starting to have a lot of back pain, lower back pain to the point where I would get in my car to go to work. And I could not find relief. I tried different pillows. I was moved to tears. It hurts so bad and I would get out of my car and stretch and I would feel better. The pain, the back pain was really very, very real.

And then I also had a fair amount of swelling in my ankles and my like lower extremity leg area from time to time. And I couldn't really place when that would happen. It wasn't just when I was standing for a long period of time or driving, it was sometimes random times. You know, early in the morning or late at night, like there was no real rhyme or reason to it.

Are you telling your doctor about this? So I had a appointment on Tuesday of 26 weeks, probably like my, you know, you're counting your weeks. Every Tuesday was a week. So I had a 26 week appointment and I was waiting to talk to my doctor then, which I did. So I went to my 26 week appointment. And, and you shared like over the last two weeks, these things have been okay.

Yes. And what I didn't do was tell her that it hurts so bad that I was, you know, moved to tears or make it a big deal scale of one to 10. What do you remember your name? An eight. Oh, I was like, and I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but I didn't. I don't know why I diminished it. I think, you know, in retrospect I just thought, well, the maybe pregnancy is just painful, you know?

And, and maybe I thought I had a high tolerance for pain, but I really don't. But in retrospect I was in a lot of pain. Okay. The swelling was not okay. There was nothing okay about it. But my language to my doctor was this is what's happening. I didn't. I told her and I said, what do you think about that?

And she said, honey, that's par for the course, like twins is a lot on your body. You're gaining. I had gained 30 pounds, which was good. She was happy. And she said that has something to do with it, but everything looks good. And she said, I'm gonna check your cervix in two weeks at 28 weeks. I'm not going to check you today.

We did a, you know, an ultrasound. Everything looked good. She sent me home with my orange glucose bottle and my next appointment would be to do the glucose test and a cervix check. When they did the ultrasound, they do what's called a non-stress test or they put a blue and pink strap on, you know, to monitor contractions to see if you were having any, no.

Okay. No. And at this point, Preemies were knotty. She never talked about going into early labor with me. Um, you going again? I didn't know anybody with twins and never had met or known a friend to have a preemie. So it just was not. On my radar. Yeah. Did she tell you to do anything, like go to the chiropractor or take Tylenol?

Like, did she give you any strategies or asked? She said he was really need to get off your feet and then to get off your feet at the end of the day and you need to take it easy and rest, but she didn't want to put you on, um, You know, bed rest or something like nothing, like nothing. Like, I mean, I had back pain, but it, it hadn't lasted about the entirety of my pregnancy.

It was somewhat recent. And I thought, well, maybe it'll go away. You know? Yeah. So that was a Tuesday on Friday morning. I had a breakfast with, uh, one of the offices I worked with and, um, one of the doctors in there looked at my ankles. She and I was with several coworkers and, um, she said, I don't like the way your ankles.

Look, you can just sit down. And, um, she's like, you're really swollen to tried to get a pulse down by my ankle. And she's telling me I can feel your pulse. It's kind of weak. I think you should go home. So I went home on Friday and just rested. And, um, did you call your doctor? No. Okay. Didn't call my doctor that night.

I laid on the couch and my back was just throbbing. And I was telling Micah, I don't feel well. Like I just don't feel well. He should feel nauseous. No, but I felt we ill and weird. Okay. And my back was like, it felt like it was pulsing lower back pain pulsing. Okay. Now I had Braxton Hicks. I knew what that felt like on the front of my belly.

I knew with those short little tight spasms felt like that's how I would describe them. Yeah. And I wasn't having those. Okay. So went to bed Friday night, slept through the entire night. Okay. Woke up Saturday morning, went shopping for maternity close. And I was in the dressing room at Nordstrom. And I had a sharp kind of pain in my leg, like up through my groin area.

And it made me double over in the dressing room. I was like, Oh, did it feel like a lightning bolt? Somewhat like that? Yeah. Okay. And I left the dressing room with all the clothes and went home and laid down. Okay. I'm like something, I just, again, don't feel well. Micah was out with a bunch of friends that day.

I don't know if he was golfing. He was doing something came home later. And I said, I still don't feel good. You know, we stayed, we watched a movie Saturday night, went to sleep and, you know, I was praying like, please, I just pray that these, these, whatever this is, this sickness, or maybe I was getting sick.

I didn't know. These back spasms would go away. Did it ever cross your mind? I'm in labor? No, never. Okay. I thought something might be wrong, but I never crossed my mind that I was going into labor. Okay. So let's time out right here because this podcast is supposed to be about you telling your story, but it's supposed to be education to empower women, to have knowledge for their own pregnancies.

If you could go back to Gail 10 years ago in that moment. What would you tell her? I would have told her to call your doctor. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what's going on. Your lack of knowledge is okay. Irresponsible. I feel like I was really, and I had a lot. I had to deal with a lot after the boys were born, because I was like, I always thought I was smart.

And, but I didn't, I didn't know what to ask. What I would tell her is. Call your doctor, ask questions, be on top of how you feel because how you feel matters. And you're not, it's not just your body. There are babies there. And just because everything's been perfect doesn't mean something. I knew something wasn't right.

And I, I don't know, whatever fears you have Gail, get over them and ask questions like, okay. You know, um, That's what I would say. No question is a dumb question. No feeling that your body's feeling that you think you might've be overreacting is. Isn't overreaction is her body, you know, know, and, and I would say, I'd say the pain scale is a really important tool for communication.

So kind of think about that one to 10 and to be communicating. Where are you, where were you yesterday? Where are you today? Where are you tomorrow? And making sure you're tracking that pain scale with your doctor, I think is a good way for your doctor to be like rope. Did on how you're actually feeling, you know, feeling.

Yeah. Okay. So thank you. I just wanted to, like, there's good. Maybe women that are listening to this podcast that are pregnant with twins that are approaching 26 weeks. And we want to make sure that we are teaching them. If you start feeling a level eight back pain, call your doctor. Right, right, right.

That's a good takeaway. Right. So yeah, that Saturday night you go to sleep. I sleep all night, sleep all night again. So Friday night slept all night. Saturday night woke up no back pain. Perfect. So you're like, God answered my prayers. I am fine. I said, it's over. And again, that's a little confusing when you're in labor.

You don't know that that, that those. It can be intermittent at times. Okay. And this where we're going, this to me sounds like what I would call prodromal labor. Okay. It kind of stops and starts, and this is again, preterm labor, but where it stops and starts and stops and starts, but it's coming more consistently than Braxton Hicks, but yours was presenting so differently.

Right. Here's Bruce presenting as back pain. Lower back pain. So Sunday morning I go to church and, um, have a similar shooting pain type feeling. Okay. I, uh, my friend next to me that I was standing next to head has already had two kids and I reached over and I was like, I'm like having some shooting pain, normal, you know?

And she's like, totally. You know? And I said, yeah, down went away, went home. We went to the pool with some friends and I was in the pool and I looked at my friend and I said, it was the first time. And I don't even know why I said it, but I was like, I am in so much pain right now. How do you know when you're in labor?

And she, I said, can you be in labor and not have con like not, I have front contraction pain. And, and she, this friend who had had two kids and she's like, Oh yeah, You can have back labor. And when she said that it was like a light bulb of the last 72 hours, just kind of going off, my husband went and got the car I got in the car, literally soaking wet from the pool.

And I called the nurse and it was a Sunday. So was an answering service. I call my doctor, it was an answering service. She asked me a series of questions and she said, go straight to the hospital. We've already called them. They're waiting for you. We think you're in labor. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things, things with you, and we'll be right back with our guests.

Hey guys, if you're enjoying this podcast, then I need your help to spread the word. If you know anyone who is pregnant is trying to become pregnant or just loves a good birth story. If you could send them to iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify or SoundCloud, wherever they listened to their podcasts and ask them to subscribe to the birth story podcast.

So I went to the nearest hospital, which was about 15 minutes away. Was that where you were planning to deliver anyway? Or was that just the closest house to the hospital? Okay. Yep. And walk in there were very, very ready for me. And at this point now though, I am like doubled over in pain. So my pain was in and I was having lower back and lower abdominal, like.

You know, menstrual cycle type cramps. Okay. At this point now it was all coming on. I was feeling very nauseous, light headed a lot of different things at this point. Did you believe you were in labor? Yes. Okay. Yes. I believed that my husband and I drove in silence and he just like had his hand on my leg.

He didn't even know what to say. He's a pretty, yeah, quiet because we're 26 weeks. And how many days? Five 26, five. Sorry. So, okay. Let me just grab that. Okay. I get there and they will meet or not we'll meet, but yeah, they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me back to a room, hooked me up on a bed. And I mean, they're just moving quickly with all different kinds of things and a doctor.

I don't know, she walks in because it's Sunday. She's not my doctor. She's like I work with, you know, such and such practice. Um, this is my first. Weekend on call and I'm really excited to meet you and let's see what we have here. And she looks up at the monitor and I said that, right, this, this pain that I'm having right now, um, is back pain.

I've been having for like two days. And she's like, honey, wait, what you just experienced was a ginormous contraction. Do you see that on the monitor? And she checked me, um, and I was five centimeters and 90% of faced. And it was like two 15 in the afternoon. Sorry. I'd probably cut that. So, um, you know, we were just like, what is, okay.

We're having these babies and yeah. And did they say that it was it's possible to stop labor at this point? So she said, I need to get a game plan together. I'll be back in, in about. 20 minutes. She came back and they started pumping me with magnesium and she starts talking about to stop the contractions.

So they give you potassium to induce you. Magnesium has the opposite effect. And so she's, we're giving you magnesium. They're shooting me. With shots of surfactant. Yeah. Lungs. I mean, the information she was throwing up, I was just like drinking from a fire hose. Like we're going to try to hold you off for 48 hours so that the surfactant can work on their lungs because slung development is what they were most concerned about.

And the boys, their heart rates were fine. So they weren't in imminent danger at the moment. And then she left. And so I was there and I'm looking at Micah and he just looked like he saw a ghost. We weren't talking. I mean, at this point, now the magnesium with that dripping, it makes you feel like you're on fire on the inside and makes us very sick.

So I am. Doubled over I'm writhing in pain. Um, the contractions were still coming. Oh yeah, they were coming and they were coming with like a vengeance. My body was exposed. My body was not happy. And so, um, around four. I did went through that for about an hour plus, and then around four, a nurse came in and I said, I don't know, feel good.

And I don't think this magnesium is working and the nurse that I'm just going to check you. And she picked her head back up. And as soon as she did my wife water of the first sack, literally like when I say it burst, it hit the TV unit. In front of my bed, it like exploded and I was kind of screamed. I was scared.

And then they, there were intercoms paging people and she said, you know your crowning basically. So we're wheeling you into. They were going to put me asleep and try to do, they were saying a couple of different things. I didn't really know what was going to happen, but I knew that I was being wheeled out of that room and into an, or when the, the plan was to do a C-section, but I guess Mason was, he was crowning at the same time.

I, at the time, I didn't really, none of it was making very much sense to me and I was blacking out. Some of the time, because I was in so much pain from the contractions. Yeah. You're in, I had no appetite and like you're in transition, right? With natural labor with twins. Yes. I can't. I mean, it makes sense to me to hear you say you were blacking out and pain.

I actually, at one point thought I was dying when they were wheeling me into. The, or I felt like all the life was draining out of my body because I was probably losing a lot of blood and I felt like very weak. And I remember thinking, I wonder if this is how it feels to die. So many people have experienced that and childbirth, um, especially when you hemorrhage.

Um, and it's just. It's more like the I'm about to pass out. Right. So I think anyone who's passed out and kind of their blood pressure drops and their pulse drops and they're bleeding and they're scared. I just, it's a really. Is it, it's actually a pretty normal feeling. I found that there are also people that are listening to this podcast that are healing from their birds, that aren't just pregnant.

And so that's something to say, like, this is normal. Many of us have felt that feeling and you're not alone. Yeah. So, um, let's see, from there we get into the, or. And where's Micah. What's my story. He, they told him he had to stay out because the plan was to do a C-section. So he called my parents who live, you know, 20 hours away and told them get here.

And he would tell you he was so scared. He thought he didn't know if I was going to be okay. He certainly didn't know about the boys and my parents. My parents have known him since he was 18, you know? Cause we were so young when we started dating and my mom said that his voice was like shaking and yeah, he could hardly even get the words out and just said, you have to get here now.

And my dad thought I was going to die and he. You know, they were all just so terrified. It's just terrifying. Yeah. That whole scenario, no, you feel like the boys were going to be okay. No. And I thought, how, how can they live? They're not done. You know, like how can, how is this gonna, I thought surely something would be.

Wrong with them or they wouldn't make it, or I had no idea how much they were going to weigh. I, I didn't know anything. I mean, I literally, you were just scared. Yeah. Looking back. I was thinking more about whether or not. I was, I was going to be okay, like what was going to happen to my body? Are they actually, am I actually delivering them?

And then I realized when I realized that I was the thoughts of, of whether they were going to, I didn't think they were going to be alive. I didn't even, I didn't think it was going to be possible for them to make it. No, I thought it's very possible that we're going to go home without. Yeah. But I wasn't thinking that much because I was in so much pain.

I had, I remembered those thoughts. I. Just had, I just didn't. I, but I wasn't thinking all that much because of the pain, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. You did think it was, it's very normal to think Mio. Okay. Right. Right. And in labor, most women will tell you that they had a hard time. They would ask every now and then is the baby.

Okay. But for the most part, you can't think about anything else other than in my okay. Right. And I think that's what I was thinking, you know? Yeah. Mostly about myself. Um, Not because I was being selfish, but because I just didn't know, like, what was even going on, what was happening. It was all so shocking.

And I didn't have time to process anything. They said he was crowning. Were you having the urge to push? Yes. Okay. Was wheeled into the, or they said we're not doing a C-section for baby a, you need to push he's crowning. Okay. And. So then another doctor arrived. So I had the doctor who had initially seen me from my practice and another doctor who they paged that was in house.

Another OB GYN, who I had never met a male who came up and was kind of standing near my head. And he was telling me how to push. Okay. And the other doctor was catching was, was down and like talking to the nurses that were there. And there was clearly a lot of commotion with at the time. I didn't know what it was, but neonatal beds and ventilator machines and things like that were being used.

Okay. I was in effectively pushing, but I had the urge to push. And so he kind of coached me through that and Mason was born and I didn't. I didn't hear a cry or anything. I just, I felt the release and was one first. Yes. So they had inverted, they had inverted baby a was not born first baby was born first.

And so he was born first and they just, him away as fast as he was born, it felt like, and Micah was still in the mind. Then Micah came, no, Mike came in while I was pushing for the, yes. Okay. And he was just kind of crying and up at the top of my head. Okay. And then. They were talking about cutting me to get Isaac out because he was in distress and an ultrasound machine.

Okay. So there was just a lot at that point going on, you know, the doctor, the male doctor was ultrasounding my belly and he was saying now, now baby B, which was baby a is breach. So we can't deliver vaginally. We have to cut you open and. Then the doctor said, no, I wanted to try to invert the baby. So she got up on top of my belly on the bed, basically.

Okay. And inverted Isaac turned him completely around and pushed him down. And again, you have no lack of snow. I'm blacking out. I'm like in so much pain that I am blacking out and they burst my water SAC. Okay. And the version with the version and burst? No, actually the doctor that was down below, she ruptured the water SAC that Isaac was in literally like went all over her face.

Micah said, and they go ahead and push. And so I pushed him out and I heard a faint little Oh, wow. Yeah. And you hadn't heard me. I hadn't heard me since I had no idea what was happening with him. And, you know, after Isaac was born, uh, they, it felt like the whole world like disappeared. I was shaking like crazy shaking and had I had to deliver the placenta, which I did.

They did. They have two placentas. So both placentas, um, And there was, you know, stitching and then there's just, there was a lot going on and I felt like the entire time all of that was happening. I was just like this crazy cold shaking mass on the table. Yeah. I re I remember that and I don't have a, I don't remember all of the, you know, how many minutes all of that happened and that's normal.

Have, has anybody told you that almost all women do this right after birth? Shake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's totally normal and it's super weird, but like shaking from head to toe, right? Yeah. So, and then Micah disappeared. Cause he was over, um, with the boys and then, um, shortly after that they brought Isaac over to me and he was intubated.

Okay, so that they brought him over and I turned my head and I saw all I saw was his little face. And I like turned my head away because I, and I just started sobbing for the first time. Like I actually was able to have some emotion and, um, Mike kept saying, he's beautiful. Like, Oh, he looks so great. And.

All I could think was he, he doesn't even look like a baby. He doesn't even look like his face. Didn't look complete. I just had never in my life, seen a baby like that. And, um, so then they whisked the boys out and. Wheeled me into my room and gave me drugs and I fell asleep. And when I woke up, that was, so this was for four Oh nine and four 17 that the boys were born.

Okay. So I got to the hospital at two, they were born at yeah, a couple hours later. I mean, they were only eight minutes apart. Yes. So that whole inversion, all of that was very, very quick. And. When we woke up, when I woke up, I looked over at the board where they like, you know, on the little dry erase board where they write the name and the birth and like who you are.

And that was when I saw their weight. And I felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach and it just to BBA, which is now who Mason. Okay. So they've changed this orientation. Um, one pound, 12 ounces. And baby be two pounds, one ounce.

And I initially just think there's no way they're going to live. You know, how can a baby that small survive and the weight seeing it written out was it was just overwhelming to me. Mike, we hadn't seen the boys. Really. Micah saw them a little bit more than I did in the room, but they had shut down the NIC unit and we're really trying to care for them.

This particular hospital really wasn't equipped for babies less than 28 weeks, a micro preemie there's different equipment that they need. From what I understand. So the neonatologist came in and said, you got, you guys have two options. Your, the boys are alive. And they're intubated, but we really either need to airlift them to a more equipped facility, but you run the risk of brain bleeds and, uh, w just different things that can happen in transport with the preemie.

Or you can wait, keep them here and let's see how they do through the night. And it seemed like eternity, Mike and I just kept staring at each other. Like how, how do we make this decision? You know, you you're deciding whether there's could be potential damage to them transporting them, but it might be what they need.

We just didn't know. And so I looked at the doctor and I just said, well, what would you do? She said, I'd stay the night. I'd stay here. I'd have you stay here. And I would have them stay the night and see if they make it through the night. Oh God. And so, um, Like to have

to have a doctor say to you if, if they make it, if they make it through the night. I'm so sorry. Yeah. And it, it was, you know, it all happened so fast that it took, it just took time for me to like long after, you know, We'll get into the NICU a bit, but long after that, like you realize, gosh, there's no, there's no preparing someone for a traumatic birth.

Like we had, you know, there's no way to prepare yourself for how you're going to respond. When a doctor says some of those things, you know, we had, we had that first night and, you know, we, we saw them, they were literally wrapped in saran wrap. Their skin was paper thin. Their heads were disproportionately like larger than their body.

Preemies, preemies have a different look and you know, you dream of this like plump baby, but you're going to deliver. And you, you know, getting to the point where you just want that baby out, you know, those are the stories that you most of the time. And, um, I just felt, I felt like we all got robbed. But I also knew that God was in control and my faith was being incredibly tested.

And I felt that even in the moments of like making the decision to keep them there and seeing them for the first time and, you know, feeling my belly and they're not in there that first night in the hospital and just thinking, this is all together wrong. This is not the way it's supposed to be. That's how I felt.

So, so they made it through then they made it through the night and they went through a series of tests the next morning. And they both had VSDs and ASTs, which are just, you know, heart ventricular, septal defects, and atrial septal defects, where those they're just not complete. You know, their lungs were very, very weak and.

So we knew there were some issues there. We didn't know about brain bleeds until about day three of being there. And I had tons of people coming to see me. You know, I was, you know, I was only in the hospital for two days on day two. My parents arrived. All my coworkers arrived and actually something that you said you probably don't even remember it when you came that next day.

To the hospital. I was sitting there and I wasn't really crying. You know, it's a little numb. I was a little just in shock, I think is fair to say. And, uh, you guys all walked in and you came over to me and gave me a big hug and you were crying and you were, and you said, I'm so sorry. You lost your pregnancy.

You were like, whispering it to me. And I think because you, you knew that that's what it was. It was, it was going to be a loss. It wasn't that I had preemies, it was a loss and it was an unknowing of what could have been. And I did, you know, I've had a miscarriage since then, so I know what it's like to lose a pregnancy, but I did.

I didn't recognize it. Then when you were saying it, I just thought this was a traumatic event, but it was a loss. It wasn't. Big loss, big loss for all involved, um, three months. Yes. But three months. It's amazing how every day matters. And so we walked through, we walked through those initial days and we left the hospital when I was discharged and we were on the way home and my husband, you know, like I said, man, a few words, he was just holding my hand and he said, you know, I.

This is the type of thing that changes people. We will never be the same, no matter what happens with the boys, whatever the outcome is, we won't be the same. And, and I was so scared. I thought, I know, am I going to be, uh, am I going to be a better person? Am I going to be a, you know, what, how is this going to change me?

And how is really, how has God going to use this in my life? Because, um, I believed that he gave that God is the one who gave me the boys. And I know this podcast, isn't about our faith, but it's a big part of my life. And I don't know, I knew that anyone who's listening to this podcast listen to episode one and knows that I'm a big believer in Jesus.

And so what we're going to, we're going to talk about, and I, and birth is such a. Pregnancy and birth is such a spiritual experience. Motherhood is such a spiritual journey. So, and I, I didn't under, I was like, I know you gave them to me, but why, you know, why all this? And it took so long, honestly, for me to even get some of those answers and to have a really, really hard time and to see how compassion can grow out of.

Tough times and you know, humility. And there's a lot of, there's a lot of lessons I learned early on and really feeling alone actually drew me closer to God because I felt like nobody really could understand Micah couldn't my parents. Couldn't not a single friend. Um, my situation too was just. You know, they were in the NICU and I stopped working and I took it Gleave and my life changed completely lately, overnight.

And I was dealing with a premature birth and my responsibility in that. And was I responsible like questions? Like, should I have ever taken Clomid was my body never intended to have twins? And, but God knew all of that. And, you know, working through some of those, how could I be so irresponsible and not know I was in labor and.

When you say work through those, did you, did you go to counseling? How, you know, I tried counseling and I just didn't have a great counselor, so I didn't stick with it now. A lot of journaling and praying. Okay. And talking, you know, I started talking to Micah. I started getting some things out. I started talking to my mom about how I felt after about a month.

I would say I started talking. I mean, everybody was trying to throw all kinds of pills at me when I first came home because I was so depressed. I was like, not speaking hardly very little about what I was feeling. You were in shock. Yeah. Physical shock. Yes. You know?

Tell me about you had to go home. I had it gone. What, when did you go home? I went home on day three of the NICU. If I, yeah, I went, they kept me and one full day after, and then I went home the morning of the. The morning was Tuesday morning. So it would have been 27 weeks that the day that I went home and do they like want you to actually leave the hospital?

Like, I understand that you need to check out of your room, but did you like, just want to stand at the window? Like, or do they want you to like actually leave and go get rest and then come visit? Your baby's like, how does that go? So the NIC unit is not where they keep babies with windows. There are no windows to the unit.

Wow. That's like a movie thing in my head. No. And especially if you're not at a ginormous hospital, it's a little door with a sign on it, NICU. And it leads you. This particular place had like room for seven or eight babies. And if you are a parent, you ring a doorbell and they let you state your name and you go in and you have to scrub your hands.

Like you're going into a surgery, every part of you and you cover your face. If it's like flu sleazy, you do preventative care when you like, as far as like passing on bacteria, and then you're allowed to go back to wherever your babies are and they you're allowed to go. I think the only time the unit closes is when shifts shifts are changing.

So from like six 30 to seven 30, they closed the unit. And at night after 10, you can't stay past 10 and you can go as early as like seven 30 in the morning. So nights off limits, unless you're, there's a special scenario. I basically went home and showered and went right back and I spent my days. I would wake up, have breakfast.

Micah would leave for work and I would go to the NIC unit and I would sit with them outside their incubators and kangaroo care is a big part of just keeping them skin to skin. Um, as much as they could tolerate because their bodies were so fragile to move. Um, a micro premium requires an immense amount of like caloric.

Um, What's it called output output. And so you don't want to move them too much, but that kangaroo care is really important. And so once a day, I was allowed to do kangaroo care for about 20 minutes when they were really little. What did that feel like? What did it feel like? I can't really explain because they were so little, I wouldn't just imagine that you would feel like you were healing them.

It felt like a very vain attempt at trying to love your child. It felt like this is all I can do. And I had to be, so you have to be so still, but you're supposed to be calm cause they can hear your heartbeat. And there's a lot to it that, you know, they, the nurses help you with. But it was really hard actually for me, because I just felt it didn't feel like enough.

It didn't feel like I was. Like I could do enough, you know, I'm watching them, I'm sitting there, you know, we decorated their incubators with pictures of us and we recorded, we had little recordings of our voices and singing to them and praying over them and they would play those like once a day. And everything's very calculated in the NICU unit.

Cause you want to, you want them to have. As much of a calm, steady, consistent environment so that their bodies can grow and, you know, apnea and bradycardia are big parts of lung development. They stop breathing and then they start again and the monitors go off with all of that. And so my days were, especially the first six weeks were just spent.

You know, watching the monitors go off. Yeah. The nurses come over and readjust their, you know, first they go from their ventilator to a C-PAP machine to a nasal cannula and they learn to breathe on their own. And these are all, I'll just huge. They're huge milestones. Yes. You celebrate those victories and, you know, Everyone told us when we first got into the NICU unit, this is another world and it's two steps forward.

And one step back you will get out of here. No two experiences are the same and there are, there were other families in there, and there's not a lot of talking, you know, you don't really talk to the other mothers, the nurses, the two nurses that were at my. Birth became my friends during my stay. And I stayed, we'll keep up with them, um, because it has just such a profound, they knew me at a time when nobody else did and they saw my births and they would wouldn't if you know, if they were on here, they would say that the births of Mason and Isaac, or some of the most dramatic and traumatic that they'd ever seen a baby.

Go through and then survive. They could not intubate Mason, which I didn't get to all this, but meaning they couldn't get the tube down his throat to get any kind of carbon dioxide return. And they tried several times and they just weren't able to get it in there. And then the neonatologist literally walked in and she sled it in, like, it was butter on that like third try and the nurses had tried, both of them had tried.

And they just they're like they're miracles. I mean, these Nick NICU nurses see miracles, I feel like all the time, but Mesa and Isaac were pretty special. Sure. So special. They're so special. So does your milk come in? No, that was an interesting experience that was pumped in. Okay. They literally do it a pump to me the first night I was there and started telling me to start pumping.

My milk did not come in. I pumped it in, I was pumping and trying to get my body to respond to the pump machine. And then when I went home and went with that hospital grade pump home, and I had pictures of the boys and I would sit and look at their pictures and my milk did come in to some degree with that.

And I would pump near their incubators every three hours. I was pumping and I was producing very, very little milk, but then were giving they were giving them. Yes. Okay. Which is like liquid gold too. Yeah. A microbrewery me. Yes. At a micro premium. There is no formula that is going to give their bodies, you know, what your milk could do.

And this is why we have milk drives the milk donation for preemies and micro preemies. Wow. So how long did you do that for pumping every three hours? I. Well, I pumped the entirety of their NICU stay, which was September 14th through Isaac came home, uh, December 15th and Mesa came home December 23rd.

Mason stayed a little bit longer. Okay. Wait. So how many days, how many days, or how long was that? And the NICU roughly just call it three months. Three months. Three. So they've finished. Their pregnancy, basically their gestation, and then we're able to come home and they were able to come home. Mason had ice surgery and they were able to come home without oxygen, but they were on heart monitors because they were still having a fair amount of bradycardias and whatnot.

So there was a lot of equipment with them when they first came home, came home. But I pumped throughout that entire time, around the, around the, in the middle of the night and all that. Yeah. And then I tried to get them to nurse and it just wasn't, they were used to having, you know, bottles, little tiny bottles so I could never get it to work.

Um, and so I pumped for an additional like three months and around six months, I just. I couldn't do it anymore. And I had a nurse come visit me, actually, one of the NICU nurses. And she saw me pumping. She was it's like, you're still doing that. And I was like, yeah, you know, it's like the least I can do. And she said, how are you doing with that?

And I just burst into tears and I didn't know, you know how I was like, it's actually, I think so, too tired of it. And I feel like I'm not producing and I was taking then you Greek. And I mean, I was like pumping myself with anything that would keep my milk up and Oh my goodness. I was exhausted with it.

And, uh, she was like, you know, it's okay to stop. Like. You have done it long enough. It is okay to stop. Nobody had said that phasing. Yeah. I'm like six months is so long and so amazing. I'm so proud of you. Oh, I just I'm right now, I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. I'm going through everything that you went through and then going home alone, and then waking up every three hours.

In the middle of the night without my babies to pump milk Emory into bed. And I'm just like, you're a freaking warrior, a warrior. So tell us how they're doing now. So they are, they are great. They're in fourth grade and they, as far as, you know, a lot of people want to know, like from a health standpoint, What was that road like and what are they, you know, how are they now?

So, you know, we, we had multiple surgeries with, particularly with Mason. He was a smaller one. Um, he had retinopathy of prematurity, which back in the old days would have left you blind. And it's, um, I don't have to get into all the details, but he had a corrective surgery for that. And then he had, he developed craniosynostosis, which is rare, um, fontanelle, like where your soft spot is, those font nails they're called, they're supposed to like over time and clothes in your skull, in your skull and his closed prematurely.

And so he had a massive like head reconstruction when he was, because that would prevent the brain correctly. And he was at a year old. He was 14 pounds failure to thrive, very sick, and we didn't know why. And it was due to that. So he underwent a, with two phenomenal surgeons. Stop. First I get one year old.

Yes. Not quite even a year, 11 years of, excuse me, 11 months, 14 pounds, 14 pounds. I mean, they wanted to put a feeding tube in him so many times when he was home. And I just, let me, let me just put this in perspective for you. Max weighed 13 pounds on his two week appointment when he was two weeks old. My two week old was the same size as your one year old.

Yeah. And he was, he was just pitiful. I mean, he was in an unhappy, really unhappy, cried all the time. Wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, they take a bottle. Um, and we didn't know why. And a lot of it was because his brain was pushing on that front part of his skull and it was painful to suck on a bottle, cause pain up there, you know, and see, suck in it, caused pain up in his head and.

That's a whole other podcast. And another story about how we even found out that, that he had that condition. And fortunately right after he had that, he started crawling, he wasn't crawling yet either at 11 months. So you started crawling and taking a bottle and he started to thrive after that. Isaac had, they both had asthma as toddlers, pretty severe.

I would say, I don't know how you rate asthma, but I mean, we, we were very routine visitors too. We were in the hospital with, you know, RSV. We, um, Had, I can't even tell you how many trips in the winter, you know, with colds that then led to pneumonia. And so as little, little people, they were very sick and it just required a lot of staying at home and they were in an, in home daycare when I went back to work and that worked out pretty well.

Cause there were only a few kids there. I had a question for you about that. So when you deliver micro premies, How, like, what does maternity leave look like? Like what is going back to work? Like, did you, I'm so confused when this happens, like your baby don't come home for now three months. Like, do you have to go back to work at six weeks when your babies aren't even home?

Yeah, it's the same. It's the same. It was all the same. I mean, there was no extra, like a second maternity leave when they come home from home. I mean, I was so glad they let, they kept my position. I stopped working for six months. Oh, good for you. And because I'm like, that makes me so angry. Yeah. So like, if you live like normal people, you would just have to go back to work.

Right away. And then your babies come home and then you have no time with them at all. It's so sad, NICU. I mean, there's a lot that there were a lot of babies that didn't have moms sitting by incubators because they had to go back to work. Oh my God. That just makes my heart break. I hope there's like, I would just pray that someday.

Some CEO's all over. Listen to this and say, no, no, no. If your baby comes home, you get time off again. Uh huh. Or we're not going to make you come back to work until your babies are home with you. And then you've had family bonding time. Right? Okay, anyway. Sorry. All right. So they were sick, um, both wearing gloves, you know, little kid glasses and all that kind of stuff.

Yeah. Um, very small up until I would say when they, when they turned five, they stopped seeming as small, you know, for a while you can correct their, their age. So, you know, you the, for the first year we would say they're six months, but corrected age they're three months. Because it helps people understand why they're so small.

Um, and then that kind of fades out when they start to blend in, as far as like size goes. Now they are average height, average weight nobody's extremely tall or extremely short. Um, They may send, had speech therapy for a fair amount of time. Physical therapy is little guy, physical speech, OT, all of that.

When he was real little and speech therapy carried until he was in second grade. So pretty much Mason had like the brunt of the issue. Right. And he was just a few ounces, smaller. Right. And he was probably conceived as we talked about a couple of days, like when you said earlier every day matters, like just those few ounces, those few days made the difference in Isaac strength.

Yes. And, you know, Mason having to have more surgeries and things then than Isaac. Yeah. So, okay. Before we finish up, there is a story I want you to tell about. Um, about you and Micah spending the night with that, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but spending the night with the babies in the hospital.

Do you remember this story for the first time and Micah thinking? Oh yes. This is a funny story. Okay. Let's I just, there were some funny moments. You were able to have some  and I just want to share this story. So you got to understand, Mike is an incredibly deep sleeper. Like, he's not a morning person.

Like I am, and he's a very deep sleeper, always has been. Okay. So right before they send you home with premies, the, the nursing staff in the NICU, like for you to spend a night with them, with the babies in a, like a maternity room where you would normally deliver, but they, they wheel the babies into you and they basically say like care for them through the night.

And if you have any questions, anything with the heart monitors, cause you've never. Had the babies through the night yet. So it's just a, it's a way to kind of ease you into bringing them home. So we get there and Mike has gone and got his palette lined up or set up over by the window cell I'm in the bed and the boys are in, it looks like a big, huge ginormous cage, kind of crib.

And they're co bedded together in there. I've got all my pumping stuff, all the milk and everything. We watch a little TV go to sleep and the boys woke up like. Probably every two hours throughout the night. And I'm like taking one and feeding them, taking the next one, feeding them. And Micah is like passed out.

And I honestly didn't even have a ton of time to like wake him up as soon as I would put them down. I'd fall back asleep. And I would think next time he'll hear them cry. I mean, cause their cries are pretty loud. You'll wake up and two hours, you know, so. I think it's probably five 30 in the morning and the boys are sleeping and I had just, or I had just put them back after feeding them.

And I laid down the bed and Micah like jumps up from his little bed and he's like, Oh my gosh, we forgot to feed them. And I like it. Am I like, what time is it? And he's all like, completely disoriented, like where he is for them. I'm like, yeah, no, we didn't forget to feed them. It's like almost six in the morning.

It's like, Oh my gosh. I thought we just like, forgot them all night. Yeah. And you were like, no, I've been taking it. I know I've been feeding them like literally all night, they wake up every two hours and I don't understand how you didn't hear them crying. He was like, I didn't hear anything good. So when he mom, Oh my gosh.

I have had many moments where, uh, you know, my own husband was like, they slept through tonight. Nope. Absolutely. You just have, haven't like, I just have an ear, you know? Yeah. It's different. It's like, feel it. I actually, even still now will like, it's weird. I will wake up literally about 30 seconds before one of them comes in my room.

Like I. I can tell they're coming. I'm synchronized. Totally so weird. So, Oh my gosh. It's just so funny. Well, before we end, tell us about what your favorite baby products, baby products. So I don't know these are 10, this is 10 years ago, but one of my favorites on the market, they are, I looked them up. So have you heard of the baby briefcase?

I have not organized. So keeping all of the like pre. Like pregnancy paperwork, all the doctors, like anything the doctor gave me. And then the, I would say into like the first year of different doctor's appointments placed for your birth certificate, it's an organization like file system. It's a littler, looks like a briefcase and it has all these different sections and it helped me keep anything pertinent that I needed organized.

Okay. Called the baby briefcase and you can buy it on Amazon. Um, That's supposed to irritate him. Okay. That's fine. I'll probably link to it is normal. It was given to me. And at the time, the only place she could buy it was Nordstrom. Okay. And I know they still sell it at Nordstrom, but I found it on Amazon.

It's a great, it's like $30. It has like this one, some sort of metal for like baby products back in the day. Um, and it was a gift to me at one of the showers that I did end up having. And after I still have the, I still have everything that I used from the boys. And so it's also like a safekeeping type thing too.

Yeah. For all the memories. Yeah. And you know, when you get yeah. Your growth, you know, you leave your pediatrician office and you see their growth, milestones and whatnot in the charts, you can, it's a place to keep it all. It's like your baby journal, but it's got a little organized briefcase. That's one and then little giraffe.

Blinkies I think that's where my favorite only because the boys each had one that's like, so ratty it's in their keepsake box. I. They started sleeping with those when they were little and they just, they went everywhere with us and we have to have, I just love them. And I know that they're, you know, not a true baby product, but I think when I look back at them as just babies they're so sink and soft.

So those were also gifts. And we ended up having to like replace them a couple of times, but. I will liens are my two favorites. Oh, I love it. And I'll link to both of the products and the show notes. So if any moms want to pick them up, so Gail, I love you so much. Thank you for sharing your story. And, um, I hope the boys get a chance to listen to it too someday.

Someday. Thank you for having me. Yep. Thanks.

Thank you for listening to birth story. My goal is you'll walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go, and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want. No matter what that looks like.