37 CORONAVIRUS: Heidi's Guide to Childbirth, Labor, and Advocating for Yourself in the Delivery Room

These days, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, are scary for all of us especially pregnant women and couples. Pregnant women especially are experiencing a lot of confusion from having to say goodbye to their birth partners at the front doors of their hospitals to having to entirely rethink their original birth plans for the sake of safety for them and their babies. Join Heidi on this highly educational and topical episode and download her free guide to have many of your questions answered about what birthing during Coronavirus looks like.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Leave a review and send a message directly to Heidi on Instagram.

TRANSCRIPTION:

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does a day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story, an interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them.

And you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are. Listen each week to get answers to these tough questions. Birth story where we talk about pregnancy, labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings and of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant.

Or you just love a good birth story. I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Welcome to the birth story podcast. It is March 26 2020 and it's Heidi. Hi. I'm jumping on in the middle of our quarantine for coven 19 because I have to speak up and say something and help you mamas that are pregnant right now with some key tips and resources for pregnancy and delivery during coven 19 specifically.

If it moves to a space in which your doula and or your birth partner, both are unable to attend the birth with you, mama, I see you. I feel you. I hold space for you. I'm praying for you and I hope that this episode will shed some light on some things that can help you still prepare for the most.

Beautiful birthing experience and will empower you and remind you that you know exactly what to do, even if you are by yourself, that you are never truly alone. So a couple of things that I want to start with. The first is I want everyone listening to go to Vimeo. And I want you to download the movie.

These are my hours. This is a documentary by Emily Graham. She was on the podcast earlier this year, and you can go back and listen to that episode. And Emily is a home birth midwife and she's specifically chosen. Undisturbed birth. Now what that means is that her support people were able to be with her at home, but she specifically wanted to bring a documentary to this world to show women that you know what to do all by yourself and that your birth partner, be it your spouse, your friend, your mom, your doula.

That they don't have to save you, that your innate wisdom will take over if you allow yourself to surrender to the process of birthing, go into labor land. And open your heart and your eyes in your mind to the wonders of birthing and to tapping into your own internal and eternal strength. So I really think this documentary would be inspiring for you if you are right now sitting at home pregnant and wondering.

I wonder if I'm going to have to do this alone, which may be a real possibility. I know right now, for those of you in New York city, this is a real possibility in several hospitals. So that was number one. Go to Vimeo and download that movie. Number two, I want to talk about, it's never too late to hire a doula, and this could mean that you're just hiring a doula right now to be your virtual doula.

What is ever toil doula. Well, the number one thing a virtual doula could do for you right now is help you prepare a very special birth plan, but you can also prepare for it by yourself. And I want to give you some tips. The first thing that all my clients should know and then I'm giving to you is that you need to write a letter to your labor and delivery nurse.

It's likely you're going to come an active labor and you might not be up for doing a lot of talking. If you're a partner, your doula is with you, then typically this is a space in which we are providing a lot of that information. So if you ever find yourself going to the hospital alone or without your doula, just make sure that you have a solid birth plan in place and a letter to this nurse.

And so the letter to the nurse is just like, hi, I'm Heidi and I'm on baby number. The, you know, for myself it would be baby number three and I, these are all the things that help me to feel comfortable and to relax. I like this music. I like these sounds. I don't like these things and we're in this together.

And if there's any way you could do X, Y, and Z to help me, I love you. And here are the cookies that I baked for you. Sweet labor and delivery nurse. Your labor and delivery nurse is fully capable of being a bedside nurse and your doula. If you are, we'll allow her or him to be. And so I want to remind you of some of the things that should go in the actual birth plan.

So in my birth plans, they're broken down into three different segments. The first is environment, and these are things like, please keep talking outside of the room. Turn off the lights, play the music that I have, you know, brought or recommended some of my mamas aren't keen to having. Um, any males come in.

Just make sure that you go through your heart and your mind and decide what is right for you in your birthing environment. Write it out, vision it, and put it into a plan. The other things to go in your birth plan are specifically about your labor and delivery, and these are things like, hi, I'm planning to have an epidural, or I'm planning to have an all natural childbirth.

Let them know how serious you are about what your plan is. So that, especially if you're planning for a natural childbirth and you hit transition, that your labor and delivery nurse knows that it's something it's really important to you and that you would like the help to get through to the end. I also put things in the birth plan about the delivery of the placenta, or the third stage of labor.

So making sure to delay cord clamping for at least, you know, two to five minutes if possible. I actually just had a birth a couple of days ago, and the midwife delayed cord clamping for eight minutes until the court had completely stopped pulsing. So as long as you are. Have a vision and you put it in your birth plan, you talk to your labor and delivery nurse in your provider, and everything's healthy with you and your baby.

There are many wishes that can be accommodated. So one of the things I just want to share with you in this podcast, mama, is that you still have so much power. Even if you're facing labor and delivery alone or with the limited partnership than what you were expecting, you still have a voice. You are still strong.

You can still advocate for yourself. You can do this. Absolutely. Also in the birth plan with labor and delivery. I like to say I w I wish to choose the position in which I give birth or to continue to keep the lights dim during, um, the delivery or if you're all natural, maybe request, no coached pushing, but to allow the ejection reflex to help guide your pushing.

Then the third section on my birth plans have to do with your newborn baby. So some of the things I would recommend in Kovac 19 is delaying. We're going to go into this a little bit more with my recommendations, but I would put on your birth plan, you know, to delay those vaccinations, to delay any newborn checks in procedures that aren't totally necessary.

The idea is with your birth plan is that you want as few people as possible in that room. You want to interact with as few people as possible for you and your baby. And so if you're having a baby boy and you were planning on circumcision, that might be something I would consider delaying if you were.

In all normal circumstances. Okay. With hepatitis B vaccination or any of the other procedures, you may want to consider delaying those so that the extra people and personnel are, you know, stay away from you and your baby. I would also just make sure to put in that letter to your nurse that anyone who comes into your room, that you want the mast and you want them gloved and you want to watch those hands get washed and you and a watch the gloves go on.

There are a couple of other things that are going to be really important for you to think about before you're in labor because once you're in labor land, you know, girl, you're just doing your thing there. Before coven 19 if you were planning on an epidural delivery, like please do not let me be the one to talk you out of it.

I just want to plant a little seed that says, I know that you could labor at home as long as possible with your partner and your doula. You can leave her at home for a really long time if you're a first time mom, it is always my recommendation to labor at home. If you're looking for a natural childbirth until about three one one, which is your contractions are three minutes apart, they're lasting for at least a minute, if not 90 seconds, and then that's been going on for at least an hour.

That would give you a good sign that you're deep into active leaper. Also, I wanted to remind you as you go to your doctor's appointments over the next couple of weeks, and you get to the hospital and early labor, that your vagina is filled with mucus and vaginal fluid. The exact things. The carry the coven 19 virus from person to person.

This is a time that I would recommend limited if no cervical exams at all. I would also recommend no membrane sweeping if it is. You know, imperative to have a vaginal exam, then I would just want to make sure that you are advocating for yourself to make sure that you watch the providers, you know, wash their hands and glove and then re glove and then Regal of, um, and I would have as few vaginal exams as you know, possible during this time.

If you are a second time mom, then you know you might want to consider going to the hospital closer to four one one or when your water breaks. As we know, second babies can come a lot faster than first babies. So you know, three one one is still pretty conservative for a first time mom and four one one is still pretty conservative for.

A second, third, fourth, fifth. You know what we call a multiparous mom. So signs to know how I'm in early LIBOR versus active LIBOR. If you could plan to stay at home as long as possible with your doula and your partner. And so some of the things as is, I always tell my clients, Oh. If you are an active LIBOR, things are coming out of you.

Amniotic fluid bloody show. You're a mucus mucus plug. Every time you're wiping, you know, things are kind of coming out of you. Even if your water hasn't broken your, you should have blood tanged mucus. This shows that your cervix is softening and opening. Also the sounds that we make in labor. So in early labor, most moms will be kind of quiet and breathy.

As labor gets harder and harder, you'll become more panty and maybe more primal. Are Moni sounds so or, Mmm. I would feel very comfortable laboring at home as long as possible until you feel yourself moving into that more primal sound, primal body. If you are able to make phone calls and text and chat, then girl, it is.

Early labor. Trust me, a mom well into active Lieber, cannot do anything besides just be in labor. If you could smile or pose for a picture or send a text to someone or think and anyway, then you still have plenty of time to, you know, stay at home and the LIBOR in the comfort of your home and labor with all the support people that you want around you.

That may be the hospital is getting ready. To limit, or if they, you know, this podcast is in case they have already limited it. Okay. This next section is a little bit fun for me because as a doula, I always have a doula bag and many people call it my Mary Poppins pack. And if you are pregnant and getting ready to birth and that hospital is telling you that your doula and or your.

Birth or support persons cannot attend this birth with you. Then I want you to connect with this podcast on a special bag that you can make. So I know you're packing your hospital bag for you and for your baby, but there is another special hospital bag that if you have a doula, she would be packing these things for you and bringing 'em to your birth.

If she cannot attend your birth and or your partner, then here's a couple of things. The first is a diffuser and some essential oils that goes all the way back to the birth plan that we talked about and making sure that you're creating an environment when you get to the hospital. That is safe and private and undisturbed, and it's smells good.

So diffusing something like lavender, Clary Sage, I use doTERRA oil. So there's one called serenity young living has one called stress relief. So any of those are really good grounding things to diffuse. You can also ask in that letter that you're writing to your labor and delivery nurse to maybe put some essential oils on a cotton ball.

Or soak an ice cold cloth and put some lavender drops put on your forehead as you get hot and cold and hot and cold because labor is a really hard work. I would also make sure that you have that iPad, that laptop, that iPhone, and like a tripod or a stand for it so that you can FaceTime your partner.

You can FaceTime your doula, you can FaceTime your friend or your support person, whoever that may be, so that even virtually, if you have a moment where you're feeling really alone, you can know they're right there with you. So a couple of things with that. Make sure you have a really long cord because you might be in the bath tub or you might be on the bouncy ball, or you might be in bed, but just making sure that where that plug is in the hospital room might be really far away from where you are.

So have a very long cord. Make sure you bring your chargers or have a portable electronic charger. I have a great one from anchor that I love. Another thing is a portable speaker and on this portable speaker, I want you to take a pen and a piece of paper right now and I want you to take note. I recommend Steven Halpern, his album, inner peace, all of my clients, LIBOR with this album.

I also recommend Melissa spill stead surge of the sea who offers very beautiful relaxation and hip, no music. I also recommend if you type in to like YouTube or Amazon music or Spotify, whatever it is, of shamanic journeying. Another favorite of mine is Mickey Hart's planet drum. That's the one. If you just need to get up and get moving and dance your baby out, the rest of those are more hypnotic, more peaceful, and kind of help you dive deeper into relaxation.

Make sure that you have a framed picture of your partner. Make sure you have their t-shirt or some kind of way so that you could smell them like right before you leave for the hospital or they're dropping you off. Just make sure that they take their shirt off and give it to you so that you can continue to have that oxytocin flowing by smelling them throughout your labor.

I would make sure to have some led candles and some twinkly lights, perhaps a rib bozo or a sheet that you can tie a knot in and hang from. If you want to get into some deep squats, your hospital should have a peanut ball and a birthing ball for you. I would ask in advance to make sure if they don't, you could bring those things with you as well.

If you're planning on encapsulating your placenta, make sure that you have your cooler, and I just wanted to make a special note that enlight of coven 19 you can still encapsulate your placenta. Absolutely. Or your placenta encapsulation specialist will have a dedicated space and are trained for preparing and delivering placentas during coven 19 okay.

So I just want to recap a couple of things. The first is mom. You can do it alone. When I sat down to prepare for this podcast, I was talking to my own mother who birthed alone for her first three deliveries. Back then, they didn't allow partners, specifically my father, to be in the delivery room. My mom's words barbaric.

Her other words, I rocked it out. More words. I was completely capable. I was strong. I just did it because that's what you did. I couldn't encourage you more. And I hope Emily Graham's documentary will encourage you even more that your partner, your loved one, your family member, your doula, that it is a wonderful if everyone can be there to support you during your birthing time, but at the end of the day, you don't actually need anyone for your birth.

You are capable of doing this all by yourself because you are strong because you have innate wisdom. Because your body is going to show you exactly what to do, how to be, what to think. And on the other side of this. You will be home comfortable snuggling with your family. Once again, it will be a moment in time and you are going to move through it like a lion who roars her strength out every step of the way.

No one needs to save you during childbirth. You can do this all by yourself, mama. That's my little pep talk. All right, so a couple of things. Limit vaginal exams. Limit them the membrane stripping, like don't do it. Or, you know, if you have to have it done, you know, just make sure they have five pairs of gloves on, GBS positive, talk to your provider about maybe not having antibiotics, what it looks like to have antibiotics.

I guess what I'm getting at is the less interventions when you have a virus like this, good getting passed around the better. So things like epidurals and IV fluids. Think every time you decide to have a medical intervention, that's another person coming into the room, if not two, three, four. Right. Just to get an epidural, you gotta hang IV fluids.

You have to have an anesthesiologist, maybe a certified nurse anesthetist, also an extra nurse. Then you've got your . Midwife or your labor and delivery nurse or your OB GYN are all three of them. Then there's the baby nurses. There are already going to be so many people coming to this birthday party that, you know, my recommendation for you is to just limit your interventions in order to limit your exposure to this virus.

And like, girl, I get it. I mean, right now people are like, Oh my God, Heidi, this is great advice, but I have to have my epidural. I mean, me too. I had an epidural with number one, so you know, I'm not telling you like not to do it. I'm just saying if you're at home, laboring at home for as long as possible and you're rocking it out, then just keep rocking it out for the sake of limiting your exposure.

Because the fewer people that you're interacting with, the less chances that you and your baby are going to get Corona virus while you're at the hospital with all the sick people. I'll be at a different floor. So a couple of resources to like empower you and make you feel incredibly awesome about, you know, your upcoming birth, the doing it at home podcast.

I love this podcast because it's all stories of natural childbirth. So right now you're like, Whoa. I was going to have my epidural, but now I'm like second thinking all those medical interventions and I really do want to stay home with my doula and my partner for as long as possible and maybe just skip all those medical interventions and that epidural.

Then maybe listen to some positive, uplifting and inspiring stories on natural childbirth. I also recommend mommy. Dot. Labor nurse on Instagram. Oh my gosh. Lisa L. T, and she's got an amazing online course for natural childbirth and then epidural childbirth also. So if your classes canceled, jump on and take one of her courses.

Another course online course I recommend is with mom and natural and also the birth lounge. So those are three incredible resources to help you prepare for your upcoming birth. If maybe your childbirth education course was canceled. Oh, I totally forgot to talk about this one. Nitrous oxide. So this is an amazing medical intervention, like before the epidural, but right now it's one that kind of makes me nervous because there is tubing and a mask.

So. If it is necessary for you to have oxygen or nitrous oxide during your labor and delivery. And again, this goes back to like as few interventions as possible, right? So like an epidural can drop your blood pressure. You know, they'll sometimes put an oxygen mask on. That's fine. Just make sure that that mask and that tubing is sterile and brand spanking new and like no one has touched it.

That was, you know, really, besides, you. Make sure to free up space on your iPhone or your iPad is for so many pictures and videos so that if your birth partners are not able to be there, that they could experience the magic through video and photography and then make sure to have that special bag with that special letter.

Packed for your labor and delivery nurse. Ask her to draw you a bath. Plug in the Himalayan salt lamp. Hang your positive birth affirmations around the room. Fill up that like a big huge water bottle. Hang some twinkly lights. Turn on some led candles. Turn off all of the other lights. And you know, give each other a big hug because you and that nurse are in it together and thank her for going to work for you today.

Just because you might not be laboring with your doula or your partner doesn't mean that you're laboring alone. Okay. And if all of this just sounds totally crazy, home birth is always an option. You can just Google home birth midwife in your area and hopefully easily be linked to some of your areas, midwives, it is always an option or perhaps an option to transfer your care to home birth.

If just all of this going to the hospital and birthing without your doula or your partner seems like something you absolutely just don't want to do. I said it at the beginning of the podcast, but here at the end, you can always hire a virtual doula to walk you through some of the things in which we shared on this podcast and ultimately writing that letter to that labor and delivery nurse, and then helping to pack that bag.

I'm writing your birth plan also irate. So Ray, before I jump off. Here's my political statement. The world health organization recommends that birth partners attend all birds globally. That might be a doula, that might be a mom or a best friend, and it might be your spouse, but. Stay strong and that the world health organization is filled with scientists looking at data, looking at maternal and infant outcomes, and that their recommendation is that birth partners attend all birds.

Globally, so we'll keep fighting in the interim, I hope that these tools on this podcast are something that is practical advice that you can take away. If you're in those, maybe you're supposed to bird this week or next week or the week after, and you are nervous and I just want to give you another virtual hug, tell you that I love you and I'm praying for you that you can do this.

And I would love to hear from you. So if you want to email me@helloatbirthstory.com or tag me on any posts on Instagram, I mean, I think I have a hundred percent response rate and I try to respond to every single thing that I am tagged in. So I love to hear from you. If there's anything I didn't answer, let me know and I can do a followup.

And I have a little gift for everybody in that I wanted to summarize this podcast in a quick little document. So if you go to birth story.com you'll see the little sign up for it. You can sign up to get the guide and it will be emailed directly to you. And I hate that I have to write a guide for navigating delivery during coven 19 but it's just a little something that I hope this podcast and I hope that guide will help you in some small way.

Tag me in your birth story. Love to you all. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start at the beginning. I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you. All the things along the way.

So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights as some of the earlier podcast episodes. If you are just now tuning en, so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do, and also my very own birth story with my second child Jagger.

Then I've interviewed some really cool CEOs. Episode three. Tori Jones is the CEO of East shell triangle, and she was also featured on Rachel Hollis's, the rise podcast. Episode seven was Rachel Coley, the CEO of candy kiddo. She was just on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist that teaches you how to play with your baby and her baby.

Birth stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends, Amy, who had a V back in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies, episode 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda, 24 and 25 Oh those episodes like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing fertility, really easy, joyful, a medicated birds, really hard, long Lieber's medicated unmedicated everything in between.

So I hope you'll start at the beginning, let the birth story podcast take you on a journey all the way through and enjoy this episode. And then remember to rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, is you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up, plan and prepare for the birth you want no matter what that looks like.