40 Daddy Bootcamp 2.0 Part 2 of 2 (Dads tell all about their birth stories)

Welcome to the final installment of Birth Story Podcast’s “Daddy Bootcamp 2.0”! The dads (Justin, Cas, and Chris) tell all in this raw and honest look into partnered parenthood through multiple day inductions, c-sections, and the different ways to lovingly support your partner through the unexpected ebbs and flows of childbirth.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Leave a review and send a message directly to Heidi on Instagram.

TRANSCRIPTION

Does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a state.

So here we are with an each week to get answers to these tough questions, birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings. And of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you, I just love a good birth story.

I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start. Yeah. At the beginning, I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you.

All the things along the way. So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights. So some of the earlier podcast episodes, if you are just now tuning en so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do and also my very own birth story with myself.

Second child Jagger, then I've interviewed some really cool CEOs. So episode three, Tori Jones is the CEO of shell triangle, and she was also featured on Rachel Hollis's. The rise podcast. Episode seven was Rachel Coley, the CEO of Kandoo kiddo. She was just on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist that teaches you how to play with your baby in her.

First stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends. Amy who had a V back in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies episode, 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda, 24 and 25. Oh, those episodes, like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing fertility, really easy, joyful mitigated birds, really hard, long labors, medicated, unmedicated, everything in between.

So I hope you'll start at the beginning. Let the birth story podcast take you on a journey all the way through and enjoy this episode and then remembered a rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in. Okay. Daddy boot camp continued with Justin, Chris, and Kaz. And if you're just tuning in and you're like, what is Heidi talking about?

Stop rewind, go back. That is part one of the second round of daddy bootcamp. And then this episode is part two. If you've been listening, thanks for hanging in. This is incredible. And we're just getting to the meat of Justin, Chris, and causes birth stories and experiences with their partners. Thank you for listening.

Please write a review, some feedback, let these dads and partners know what you think about this episode. I come back in the room and you know, the nurse leaves and just explains it to me. Doctor came in doctor was really, really cool and things kind of like there's a one nurse was kind of snippy, right.

But shift changes at seven. So she left new crew came in. It was all good. Now this is where my days do not match up to what justice memories are, which makes sense because my experience was much different, but I think they. I want to say they started Pitocin. Initially. What day was this? This was on Tuesday.

This was a Tuesday, Tuesday, 1:00 PM. We started. Okay. Did they start with the Pitocin? I think they did. And then they did the balloon. They, they did that after the first round of Towson. So I think they did the balloon first. Right. So that, and that was interesting, not in a good way to be a part of where they do two separate balloons and one is to help dilate the cervix.

And I don't even know what the other one was. There were two, and that didn't do as much as we had hoped and then pressure. So it's a fully ball catheter. So it's supposed to like you, it inflates a céline right. It's meant to put pressure on the cervix and then to stretch it open. Yeah. So that didn't, that wasn't a pleasant experience for her.

I could tell obviously, and then it didn't, it didn't work. So the doctors were great. Doctor came in and was like, there's a couple of, you know, we can, we'll continue with the Potosi jump in real quick teaching opportunity. So they give you 12 hours with a fully bulb catheter and the fully bulb will naturally fall out when you're.

Dilated to five centimeters. So they put it into stretch. Then once it hits the goal, then it just finds out. But in justice case, It never, never did fell out because her cervix didn't thin an open to five centimeters. So that first night really wasn't that bad. Right. Cause she got to sleep and she wasn't on like monitoring and she, wasn't not allowed to eat.

Cause she has gestational diabetes. We should have ice chips and water. So the next morning it didn't whatever the 12 hour gap was. Right. They remove it. And then we started like, what are the options? Right. So she, her water hadn't broke. Like mucus plug, none of that stuff. So we kind of went through that for another day.

Right. And they did the Pitocin, then they mentioned Cytotec. And of course she immediately started doing research on Cytotec. And if you do research on Cytotec, it's not something that you'd probably be inclined to, like want to do or want to have your, your wife do, but had a really great conversation with doctor who has three.

And she was like, if it was your, your wife. You know, this is just his way of doing it. She's want to make a decision that's that would be detrimental to the health of the baby. And he's like, I would do it like it's safe for what we're trying to do. So we did that, didn't it? And they're like, well, we can break your water.

And a lot of times that starts, and this is probably, this is probably Wednesday. Afternoons. That makes sense. She'd been there 24 hours. I think we're kind of on Thursdays now. Just so everybody knows I have been coming and going. Yeah, she was, she brought, she bring me, so I'm clearly that like I did show up every day.

Yeah. I was hoping for actively every day I was ready to go. Okay. I became the first night and set the room up and it was like lights and yeah, we had like words of affirmation. It was, um, you know, some scripture on the room was great. So fast forward to Thursday. Can break your water. And she was determined to be like natural rights so that we had another doctor that came and that was great.

And she was like, look, you've been in some, you know, and she's having contractions to this time of they're very mild and they started to peak and I'll be like watching the monitor and be like, Oh yeah, this is it. And it wasn't it. And. I think Heidi was being very realistic with our conversations with Jessica about being like this.

So you're, this is uncomfortable and you're not enjoying this and it's like nothing. And then it was you lovely. You mean nothing? Like I was like, if you have any pain on your pain scale, I remember telling Jessica like, if your feet, if you think you're feeling like a one or a two, like this is like a negative too, like.

But the, this is the thing the fatigue starts to set in and the exhaustion and your hunger. So now your threshold, like a really strong woman after three days of not sleeping, not eating kind of prodromal labor people, poking and prodding at you. Your threshold is now down here. So this is from my perspective where I.

Knew I was going to have to evolve that conversation to help Jessica come to terms with being okay with some medical interventions to have a better experience. Yeah. And by this time she was on full monitoring. So the baby was being monitored, which means she couldn't get out of bed. So after that 24 hour period of not being able to eat or anything, she wasn't allowed to leave the bed.

So couldn't go to the bathroom. Couldn't go to the industry, couldn't get in the tub. We couldn't walk around any of that stuff. So it's not. So are you just using bathroom, a bed pan at this point? She is a catheter catheter. Okay. So, and then it was either across the hall or a door down, someone must've like swept in and been right in labor, but it sounded like the Bates hotel, like.

She was like, can you turn that music up? And I was like, wow, I was playing, I was playing Zelda on the switch. And she's like, you can't hear that lady screaming? And I'm like, no. And I turned out, I was like, Oh Lord, literally in transition, like naturally transition. Right. Like a wall apart and it was vibrating and it was, it was brutal.

And then I think it was funny. Cause my, my memory could be, I don't even know if it's true, but I remember it seemed like a couple minutes and then they played that damn song, like was a baby and then just was like, we've been here for three days. Are you kidding me? Like every time she heard that, I think there was a little bit for both of us to me, like, man, But they should make that, not play in the side, the laboring women, like the hallway is great, but like let's not play that song when laboring women are trying really hard to their yeah.

It's a little tricky. And so after that conversation, she was like, I think you. And the doctor's like your, so your uterus is a giant muscle. That's been in some form of activity for two to three days, days. Now that's not good because can lead to hemorrhaging. Right. Which can be detrimental. So basically we get to the point where the doctor is willing to do an epidural for their regular water, which we thought was cool.

And we decided to go that route and they did that and they broke a water. We continued with it and side attack. And we got to, I was super excited because we got to a point where they're like, they really were getting closer together and started, you know, increasing in intensity. And then after that would happen, it would just kind of basically like Peter back down and throughout this whole process, Heidi is like in and out.

So you're doing the emotional roller coaster, even in the hospital. It was, it was, it was wild and she just could not, I mean, she couldn't even get out of bed. So we got to a point and like, clinically, this is just her uterus is tired. Right. It's been kind of overworked, but didn't really lead to cervical change.

Right. And then. Her uterus is really tired. So no matter, like, I think one of the things that I want people to hear from your story is like, when you're induced early, like no matter what, you, you can throw every drug out there, every medical device out there, like if your body physio, he is not ready, it does not.

It's not happening. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Absolutely. Got to that point. And I think she was, I want to say it's probably on Friday where they were talking about one more round of cyber attack and another round of Pitocin. And she was basically like, I need. Sometime, I need everyone. I need to get unattached from stuff I need to walk around and need to eat.

And so the doctors came and they agreed to it. It was great. Cause they were like, you can have something light to eat. And she was like, I went, Doritos work sounds good to me. So three and a half days. So they, they agreed to, I think it was, they gave us four hours and they were going to let everything kind of try to get the toast and out of our system and give us four hours.

So we walked around the hospital. Just the eighth floor and that's, as far as they would let us go. And I drove down and got us some sandwiches and some chips, and we sat there and we watched, you know, I think it's the first time we put the TV on, watch them on TV. Um, and they came back. About four hours later and they started the next process.

They got approval. So Pitocin, I guess typically they only go up to 20, they got approval because so Ethan's heart rate was at one 55 the whole time. Oh wow. He was super, super strong. So we have approval to go up to 30. Okay. We'll see if that does it right. Like last ditch effort. So do you have the same doctor for all four days?

So you, they were rotating over the 24 hours, rotating doctors. How many do you see? Four, probably five doctors. And each one of them had a different plan. Yeah, totally different, different strategies. I like different strategies, like a second opinion. It was like everyone had a different plan for them, a whole nother layer of complexity.

And we were really fortunate because they all listened to us. And I think they're really amenable to hide you in those conversations came up. I think we saw over 30 nurses, 27. I think we counted one. It was the way we had Mandy, who is the greatest nurse of all time. She's amazing out to Mandy. Mandy came on again.

She requested her next shift to be back with us and we probably without. Her and Heidi, it would have been a totally different experience. So just nominate her for the Daisy word. Oh my gosh. I love it. But let's just throw in like two, even further complicate matters. Like there was a moment where Jess was like, I'm feeling kind of blurred vision and it was like her blood sugar was low and then the epidural came out.

That was not good. So Heidi, well, this was Friday morning. I'm guessing. I think it must've been, yeah. So just as like, wow, this is intense. This is, you know, so I think I love texting Heidi. I'm like, she's like, does she know how to use the button on it? I'm like, yeah. She's like pushing. I was like, okay. And then she, out of nowhere, like she, it was like an extra system moment where she lost her mind on me.

We're looking back. It's the, one of the funniest things that ever happened in my life as it was going on. It was funny, but I knew I couldn't laugh, but it was, I was terrified. Absolutely terrified too. Yes. She, she used words. I've never heard coming out of her mouth. So I knew something was up. We were having a baby or something had happened and he was like, I asked the anesthesiologist to make sure everything's good.

And I think right when you got back to the hospital with my hazelnut latte, thank you very much was one. The anesthesiologist had just left. I believe they had just replaced it because I had said if her button is not working. She needs to get her epidural. Right. So anybody listening, 12 to 15% of epidurals need to be replaced?

Yeah. So hers came out. That's why she was in so much pain. So she had kind of like a linebacker nurse. The one time we saw her overnight, though, when she was flipping out, I was like, I just remember kind of waking up and be like, Whoa, what's going on over there. So it probably happened. Like, did you say linebacker?

Nurse? Yeah. You did say, had a flu through that. I want to make sure I heard that it was dark I'm asleep. It's I guess that a Panther,

but still look on justice face when they were like, Oh, the EPR girl came out. I was like, okay, I'm leaving the room. Like, I don't know what to do. And then the anesthesiologist. It's like, well, we can do a spinal or we can replace. And I'm like, well, spinal, does this sound good? But you were actually there because I left.

So you were back and just actually said, I would prefer Heidi to be here for the epidural. Right. So I went to Earl's and drank beer to be perfectly honest. I went and got a poker table and had some beer. You needed a breather. Right. And you got that breather. And I think that you came back reentered. Yeah.

Yeah, I did. For sure. And it was great because. You know, Heidi kind of like, she basically like engulfed her and prayed over her and just spoke to her because after it was no joke from, you know, it's not a pleasant experience. So that was another thing that we went through. And then I think when we w. So the next round of Towson inside of tech, I thought, I want to say we got up to a 26 and we had an awesome, probably the best doctor, all the, all, all the ones that we've seen.

This was their, her second shift with us. And we were kind of like bounced. Like, what do we do? Is it C-section time? Do we keep, because Jess was like adamant, right? She, everything she had, she had kind of wanted to happen. Hadn't happened yet, but she was still holding out that she could have a vaginal birth.

And that was very important to her. And. She wasn't going to make a decision because she knows herself well enough where she would never outlive that guilt. So she said, I want to have a C-section. She would have always questioned herself. Like, why did I decide to do that? So she had a conversation with the doctor and she was great.

And the doctor was like, she, she said, the doctor, what would you do? And she was like, well, how long have you been here? The doctor was really strategic looking back. Cause she never said, this is what I would do. Like in the line of questioning and the conversation, she looked at her chart, she went and got her full chart and looked at it and kind of looked and she mapped out some time and she's like, Like technically speaking, this is now what is considered a medically failed induction.

And my recommendation is for your health and the health of a baby, you have a C-section and that's all we needed. Yup. And then, and it was like, okay, 45 minutes to get your shit together and moved to the recovery room. And I was like, Whoa, wait a sec. Do we have like, how do we, okay. Like give us a minute.

And we just not talked about it afterwards because. I remember having a conversation with you about you have your credentials and did we want you to be in the room? And I was like, yes. And then we never had that conversation with anyone else. And we didn't even realize it until after we had the baby, because it was like, it was like chaos.

Yes. And I'm running stuff to the car and then like, figuring out what do I need to take to recovery? And then I'm in scrubs. And like, it was the most surreal thing ever. Yeah. So I told him my role. I was going to say, I took my role different at that point. Like I came in and you were getting kind of dressed and then I, you know, put on some worship music and had a good cry with Jess and just this release.

I think it was just like this moment of release and, and praising God. The baby was on his way and that this whole ordeal was going to be over. Yeah, it was, yeah, it was, it was intense for me too. I shoot him again. What's the release. Cause you guys knew it was happening. He'd been there for five days and you did, this is going to happen in the next 45 minutes.

Was that I was a huge, I think the biggest part of it was like, so people always say like, it's okay to not be okay. Right. I firmly believe, I think now it's a little bit cliche, but that was the point where it was like, It's not okay. And that's all like, we're finally there. This is, we're going to have some, we're going to have a son, somehow this is going to, it happened.

But then to know, like it was the right thing to do. That's what meant the most to her and to me too, to be perfectly honest, the thing that meant the most to me, even before the health of my own born child was that she was okay. Right. It's like I wanted her, I wanted this to be whatever she wanted or whatever she needed it to be.

And at that point, It works. That was going to be all right for us. And there was, there was a giant, like calming serene, like excitement and like Jess. And I remember having like a moment, there was a very intense, like, connection with like that. Now it's now it's kind of real. Cause I went to that point going from what our journey had been.

It, it, it wasn't real for me. I mean it was, but it was always like sweat that fear. Right. And it was ruling my heart, which is the word. But the more you try to not that happened, it's like, Jesus, it's still it's running everything. Right. Which is, but at that point there was, it was like when I was walking to the car, I felt like I felt good for the first time about goods and understatement.

I felt like really, really? Okay. Yeah. Like you would like, like, this is what this is. It might not have been what we wanted to happen. This is absolutely the way it was supposed to go down and I'm getting ready to have a son about. Right, right. Yeah. I think that's a lot of people that if they could understand that at first, because I didn't understand it until I heard it the first time.

Like one of the nurses said to us, when we got there, you're getting ready to meet your son in 45 minutes. That's some heavy stuff. That's when, like, it was a big thing for me. I was, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That, you know, and I think it's, I think it's such an easy statement, but I think it's one of the most powerful things you can hear, like in the moment, because it sets the stage.

It really does, in my opinion, Yeah, it was, it was wild. So to have that you're in the operating room and yeah. Did you look, did you peek around the corner? Oh, you haven't heard this part yet? I have to be very strategic in how it tells us I have my drinking with buddies version. And then, well, if we're drinking with buddies, so Heidi did an amazing job of preparing Jessica for the C-section.

And by me listening, I was, I felt like I was prepared. I was not prepared. And at this point I would say, I thought I was going with you. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I think I thought that you were too, and I didn't realize you weren't until it was done. So we were in recovery and that's all, I mean, that's absolutely on me, but what do you mean by that?

Like, you weren't. Like the sight of it, her pain, like what, what do you mean all of it? So they take you, so they take it me into the recovery area. Where would it be after the surgery? And that's like 10 or 15 minutes later when she's like, the anesthesiologists are good where they're actually getting ready to like start the procedure.

Then they bring me in. So kind of sitting up there with, so you're not in there for the prep. No, they're like ready to go. So I come in and I sit up there, there, and she, the BI she's shaking uncontrollably. Right. And that's a byproduct of the anesthesia and the medications they have her on. And that's an uncomfortable sight to see your wife, even though it's not painful.

It's just, it's an odd thing to see. Right. So I'm trying to comfort her and I'm trying, I think it was. I'm sure I did something Dom, try to be funny. Right. I have a dumb conversation that was probably out of place. I don't really recall what it was. I don't remember is the two anesthesiologists were talking about their favorite vegan restaurant LA.

And it's the other dudes talk about the Cubs, which I thought was, it was interesting, but I'm going to say it was inappropriate. I thought it was a little bit odd. Like this is a bigger moment for us. So maybe no,

why don't you keep quiet for five minutes? It was an interesting, which kind of gets back to the habitual thing earlier on in the podcast. Yeah, we are creatures of habit. So Mandy. Was in the ORs or awesome nurse. She was like the drill Sergeant, right? Like I'm an army guy. So she was like a DEI and they're like running stuff.

She put on worship music, which was great. Um, cause she had heard you put an on for Jess. So she had it on in there. And there's a point in time where they're, it's very apparent that things are happening on the other side of that sheet. Like I thought I smelled burning flash at one time, which I probably didn't but there's a lot of jobs.

Oh you did? Oh, wow. So stuff going on and then they, they announced that they're like, we have a birth, right. And there's like hoops and hollers and everyone's excited and everything. And the anesthesiologist says, do you want to see your son? And I'm like, well, of course I want to see my son. He says, stand up.

I don't do well with things that I'm not prepared to see. Okay. So I stood up and that was a terrible idea. So I remember him holding my son and then watching. So we did as much with delayed clamping as you can do, and seeing the stuff kind of like, you know, blood and everything go through. True. Which was interesting.

But then my eyes like dip down a little bit and that was not interesting. So I was at that, there was a moment where I was a hundred percent sure my wife was dead. And then I was pissed. I was like, why did they murder my wife? Because I mean, there's a whole lot of stuff going on that I don't need no about.

And then I literally, it's the first time in my life when people say like a deer in the headlights, I could not move where Jess was like, are you like, are you all right? But she's like, why what's going on frozen? Not to hurt my eyes. Really? Yeah. Like add this at all. I was just standing up. And I just, yeah, it was, it was wild because it's such a, it's amazing.

Right. What they surreal when you're not, I was not prepared for that. I don't know what I thought I was going to see. That was just, it's dumb on my part for sure. Wow. And then I kind of snapped out of it, like look around the room, but then they're like counting, like all the sponges and the gauze to make sure nothing's left in after the surgery.

And thank God. There was one, they had a couple of NICU nurses in there because of some of the at-risk stuff. And they were taking like over, under on how big he was like, is he above 10? Is he going to be like nine, whatever it was. And they like really got, did a good job of like, Hey, come over here. And, um, so that's kind of when I was able to just bypass that and come back to reality a little bit.

Yeah. And I had a son and he was boys, not a little over nine pounds and I got to take him back on the other side of the sheet, but it was weird. I had a, I had a experience. Well, when I got, when I, when I got ahold of him and I went back to where Jess was and we, I stayed there for a couple of minutes and then I went back.

But in that moment, I felt really bad because I didn't feel anything. I expected this moment to be like, wow, I'm a father. And this is my son. This is my boy and all this stuff. And it was, there was nothing at all. I mean, literally like. Kind of like a holding this, right? It was, it was a very surreal experience.

But when I got back to the recovery, I bawled like a baby. I mean, I lost my mind. That makes total sense to me. There was sensory overwhelm and that felt since you're worried about. Wait, how do you even focus on that? You know? Yeah. And it was, it was really interesting because I think the day, so the next day we're sitting in the hospital and we had a really candid, cause I would never share that with Jessica.

Like I would never share that with Jess and she looked over. Yeah. Well, no, but she looked over, I mean, she's like when you brought him to me, she's like, I really didn't feel what I expected to feel. And she's like, and I felt so guilty. We would probably have a word to describe it. Like it's a little bit of like guiltiness, I guess.

And I was like, Oh, thank God. You said that, like, that was a huge relief because I was like, no, it was because we're both in shock of like, what was that? And a lot of times too, ma this M speaking from the mom's point of view and a C section, but a lot of times in child. Christina will probably also cast his wife, talking to us in childbirth.

Sometimes we forget to think about the baby because we're in survival mode. Yeah, of course. So like when you're cut open with your orders, you know, sitting on top of you, like you want to connect with your baby, but in that moment, you're you're you're bye. And mind are trying to focus on you staying alive.

And, you know, reserve was bonding time for once, you know, you're okay. It's kind of like a mammalian response, right? It's to take care of yourself, then, then find your baby. Yeah. The fight or flight for sure. But it was, it made me feel there was another way for us to connect. Right. So, but I feel I wouldn't change our story.

And that sounds brutal to say our journey all the way out, because we've gone through what. I think married couples go through in 25, 30 years. We've done it in for a little over three, actually. So I'm grateful for that, but I think we know each other so intimately that it's almost Gary sometimes, but when she is knowledge, that feeling and I could be open and a knowledge that feeling.

That was like the last hurdle. I think I felt personally with the fear and the doubt and, and that was a huge moment for me. That's awesome. And it's been, I mean, yeah, he's, he's perfect. Our storm was perfect. It's exactly how it was supposed to be for us. Probably not. Yes. Yay. It was awesome. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you.

Thanks for listening to them. The birth story podcast. I am so excited to announce the launch of my book. Birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy, a collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice. And journaling prompts. You can order a copy today@birthstory.com. It also will mean the world.

To me, it feels spread the word about this podcast. So on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. Alright, Cass. It's your turn to tell your story about your beautiful daughter Kennedy. And I thought maybe you could just start with, like we heard from you earlier that Christina was okay. She was bouncing on that ball and she was like, I'm going to have a natural child.

Natural. Yeah, absolutely. And I do want to highlight real quick on something Justin had said about the traditional family and things like that. We had. A phenomenal support group. And that was a big hurdle for us because Christina had both of her parents had been married. 30 years. My parents both been married 30 years, wanted to be in the room.

And one of the issues that we encountered was how many people can be in the room and, you know, the moms and then the battling of the roles and things like that. So I, I will be an advocate also for those that do have that support that are looking to accomplish something that might be a little bit different than what your parents or your in-laws.

I see as part of your birth plan, you know, and that was where Christina was. She wanted the natural birth. My mom was, you know, you need these modern medicine. Her mom was, you need to use modern medicine. And Christina was dead set that this is going to be a natural birth. And she needed someone to be there for that.

Both of them, both of the, of the grandmothers had experienced a natural birth too. So I feel like that was important just to highlight very quickly, you know, how was that complexity? That with the mother-in-law's cause me and Kelly have talked a lot about it because her mother. Is a piece of work. And my mother is a piece of work in very, very, very, very, very different ways.

Fair enough. I will say that. Yeah, my mom, absolutely 1000% wanted to be in the room. This was going to be her first grandchild and your mother, my mother, she wanted to be there at a hundred percent. Christina's mom knew she was going to be in that room. My mom was just hoping to be. At the end of the day, what the dynamic look like is 1000%, they both stood behind what Christina wanted, despite the way they may have felt.

They wanted things to go knowing that it was going to be a tough road for Christina. They still sat back. They were in the room during the whole time. And we'll kind of talk about that and the birth story, they sat on the couch. Quietly, which is difficult for both of them to do and let Christina, that's kind of what I meant with my age.

They sat there and, and really fulfilled the exact role that, that Christina wanted. And they honored her wishes wishes, which is we couldn't have asked for a better scenario with, with, with the mothers, the parents, the grammar annoyed worked out great anyway, cause that was definitely a big concern cause they wanted to be there hands on doing it, helping.

Their daughter and daughter-in-law do this thing that they've done multiple times. So, yeah. That's awesome. So how did you know, like, how did she know she was in labor? So, uh, let's see that night around 8:00 PM. She, or on July 3rd, she said, uh, she wanted five guys, so she grew up hubbed, some five guys. She, she crushed it.

She had came home early from work that day. And this had been the second day in a row that she had came home early from work. Due to some contractions. Um, her boss drove her home both times her car was left at work. So she didn't tell her doula that, right? Yeah. This is the second day, the second time that she had come home from work with contractions.

And so I just assumed it's gonna be the same thing as the first time. Like, you don't need to be going to work, you know, from here on out, you know, let's just ride this thing out. So. On that second day on the July 3rd, she came home. I was just expecting the same old, same old. I came home from work. She grabbed hubs, some fives as she ate it.

We talked to Heidi that night so that, you know, Christina came home from work, feeling some contractions. And I think Heidi said, you know, yeah, what you need to do is you need to go, you need to sleep you to get as much sleep as you possibly can, just in case it's time. And to be honest, I need to get some sleep because I think you had just done like a three day bend with.

I was probably at Chris's birth. No, it was a little bit different, but I think he had just been on like a tube. No, I was at Juul. Was his birth. Okay. There you go. So you could have used the eight hours of sleep as well as us. So don't us, you know, go lay down. So it was about eight o'clock, eight 30. We laid down by 10 30.

Which I was just hitting that, you know, that real sweet spot, that room cycle of sleep, you know, and all of a sudden, Christina jumps out of bed, stands up and her water broke. Uh, this is around 10 30. Maybe touching on 11, somewhere in there. So we texted Heidi and said, you know, this is where we are, you know, her water has broke.

Christina is standing up and, and, and I remember you describing a water breaking, you know, like, will it just be a trickle of water? And you're like, no, it'll look like a two liter has just emptied on your floor. And that's in fact what it was. If I remember like, don't let, don't let it ruin the rug, get some towels.

So like I'm scrambling for it. Uh, priorities. Yeah. Right. So we get back in bed we'd we texted Heidi at that point, just like, so let's, you know, just, it may be a while from now, though. So, you know, just get back comfortable in your bed and, and, and start timing the contractions. So we did. And I think by within an hour, an hour and a half, Christina wanted you there.

Yeah, it was very soon, uh, that, that she wanted Heidi there and the contractions weren't unbearable, but, uh, they were, they were, we're pretty strong. Christina was feeling pretty strong and I have always given Christina credit for being a very, very strong. Person and very high pain tolerance. However, I think the first time Heidi talked to her, she was like, what's your pain on a one to 10, 10 being someone stabbing you with a knife.

And I think you said a six and he was like, we're in big trouble because this should be a woman categories. Christina laughed. And he's like, okay, well, yeah, reframe. I had to do the same thing when Jessica, I was like, let's rethink pain here real quick. So what I would say probably you were at our house by midnight of that.

Yeah. Maybe a little bit early, maybe 1130. Yeah. I had never fallen asleep, so that was good. I had plenty of energy showed up, ready to rock and roll came in with some candles. We went ahead and notified the family at that point. Hey, Christine's, water's broke. We don't, we're not going to the hospital. That was a whole nother conversation to have with them.

With both sets of parents, Hey, our water broke, but we're not going to the hospital. We're just gonna ride this thing out at home for a little while. And then we'll head to the hospital. That was the one other conversation which we had, and they both respected that. So, so at the house we, we lit some candles.

We, we turned on some, some worship music, some, uh, some breathing music, I think in fact, it was where we started with some breathing music and we labored in the bed for probably an hour. 30 30 minutes to an hour. We labored in the bed. Um, and then Heidi suggested that we move to Kennedy's room. It was already set up ready to go, right.

Waiting on Kennedy to arrive. No idea if it was going to be a boy or a girl. So we're in the baby. How did y'all decide to wait? So Christina both had two friends that, that did it and in the moment where like, they're crazy, there's no way. Right. And then when, when we actually found out we were pregnant, we both kind of looked at each other and I'm like, do you want to know?

I was like, I could go without it. She's like, I could go without it. That was, that was settled. So we went without it. Yeah. So a lot of grays, a lot of neutrals, you know, most people that suffer are those that want to get you what it gives you. Those are the ones that suffer more than anybody else. So we found out on our genetics report.

Oh,

obviously, and I told him, I said, don't send this over. If you're going to check the full chromosome, I just don't do it. Keep it. Did you have antenna not knowing, you know, we, we wanted to do a, um, a review or reveal and I, I. Do so, got it all straightened, dark. So I was whatever and sensitive and Kelly calls.

He's like, yeah, it's like buried in page 48 out of 50. You won't even notice it. You don't even know how to read it. First thing, three lines down, Y chromosome positive. And I'm like, I love it. Exactly. And cycle back to the thing as a war bagel. No, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. Yes. What this is forward, but yeah, so, so we walked, we went into the baby's room and, uh, we labored on a medicine ball that we played music in there.

Uh, Hampton, our dog showed up for the party. Uh, he was in the room with us for a little while. Really tried to make it as, as peaceful as possible, which is what Christina wanted. She wanted to labor as long as possible at home. Before going to the hospital, I basically did what Heidi told me to do. She was like, Hey, go to my car and get this.

And then I'd go get that ball and she's like, Hey, go to my car and get this. I gotta do a car. Get that rub Christina's back. Yeah. Right here. And so that's kind of the, the roll off of field. Yeah. And, and to be honest, I kind of fall in the same. I want it to be the coach. I wanted to be the guy, but then I kind of backed up and I'm like, I have no clue what I'm doing as much as I want to be that I, I can't, you know, so we labored in the, in, in, in the baby's room, in Kennedy's room for about an hour at that point.

So that took us till about 1:00 AM. And then we started transitioning to the hallway and doing a wall squats for every contraction with, um, A rubber band or a band, the ribose L got you hooked on the door and she would pull down on it and, and really go into a deep squat for her contractions. And then we would transition to the restroom and let her go in there.

And it was one significant sound. That Heidi heard from the restroom that let her know we're, we're making moves to the hospital. And it was that, that grunt, that push, then I think you said, yeah, well it's in combination, right? So her water was broken and she was making that primal guttural sound together.

So at that point, it's like, well, I don't think you're going to be in labor for 20 hours. Sure. Um, and so I, she made a sound that made me go. Okay. I think based on our previous conversations, How do you feel, do you guys feel like it's time to go and both of you guys were like, we're ready to go. We were in, and I think a part of that was also just with it being the first, a little bit of just being scared, you know, in the process.

And if something does go wrong, wanting to be at the hospital, For that scenario. So, you know, on the edge of our seat, we were both kind of like, okay, when's the hospital call? You know, when is that going to happen? And it happened about, I think at the hospital around two 30 or 3:00 AM on July 4th morning flashers and all, you know, we, we took off from the house.

Uh, Heidi drove separate. Maybe it might not have been as in this, as a necessity as. Your situation. I forgot about mine to do the two hours. So let's do it still down there, running with the

unlocked, running the only place in Charlotte. You can leave a car and no one will take it running and everything in it. And I don't feel like I'd probably go to sleep that night. The nurse goes, did you ever move your car? What car. Probably run out of gas, blocking deck, well thing, you know, and then we, uh, you know, went on up, uh, it took us about an hour to get to a room cause she wasn't as dilated as we had advocated thought.

Um, she was around a centimeter to, at that point. And um, so about a 45 to an hour, we were in, in that triage room. Which is fairly difficult. The nurses did the best they could because I was the only one allowed back. So Heidi kind of had to just stand out there and listen to Christina, you know, Gail through every contraction, which was, I'm sure as difficult for her as it was for me to hear them and not know what to do.

Well, I kind of just instinct. We went to back to some of the things that you had done with Christine at the house, and we just maneuvered that as best we could. And we had the nurses turn the fluorescent lights off, which was great. So they were definitely ready to accommodate and do what they needed. So they might just do a room.

Once in the room, we decked it out with, with lights and music and the whole nine yards and words of affirmation on the wall and, and all that good stuff. Christina labored in the bathtub. Um, which was her favorite place to be was the bathtub. They call it the awkward girl, the awkward girl. She didn't enjoy that.

That was like her spot. I will say too, though, that, you know, we're going to get to this part, but like Christina was much further along in her labor, then one centimeter dilated. So sometimes what happens is the cervix, all those early contractions, the cervix is getting thin and then it just. Kind of bursts open and we in a good position, you were in a group.

Yeah. The baby was love. It was really loud. And so like, but all of the information that we got that the baby was low, the cervix was like paper thin. And the way that Christina was, you know, emoting her labor, let me know, like this isn't going to be a, yeah, it wasn't. Yeah. So yeah. So once in the room, you know, Christina really labored.

Um, and, and I should mention again, that my mom was in there. Her mom was in there and also her sister, which is one of her best friends was in the room as well. So we definitely kind of broke the number of people in the room code, but our head nurse was phenomenal. And when she found out Christina wanted to go the natural route, she was an advocate for that as well.

So I've really felt like we had a lot of people on our team that were. Advocating for us, including Heidi. So there was, you know, a lot of eyes on Christina during this process and, and I don't think it was easy on anyone, but it was definitely totalling. I did not realize it would be the, as totaling on myself as it was watching her labor.

That hard. And I say that long four hours of that intense laboring, uh, to the, to the point where he, when she's screaming where the other nurses or coming to our head nurse and saying, as she had that baby yet, because my girl down here can hear her screaming and. What's going on, you know, it's starting to scare the other girls cause they're screaming as carrying down the hallway.

It might've been us. That was yelling. Yeah. But, uh, yeah. So, um, some women are quiet breathers. I don't know if you, how did Kelly do it? But some women are quiet and some are very primal, guttural, loud. You don't know until the moment. Right. She really, we heard on the phone in our house. Little D two in the bathroom.

Then the four on the bed before we had Grayson was primal is the best word I can, I can, I can I have found to be able to describe it? Yeah. Okay. And that hearing those, that level of just pain and anguish and knowing that this was what she wanted, but also wanting my husband instincts to kick in, to protect when she went into transition on the bed.

And, you know, she's kind of rolling around just sweat. She was nauseated and she, her exact words, and I can actually quote these words, someone please save me were her exact words because it wasn't an easy process. And he had told her, this is not going to be an easy process, but when those were her words, I felt like for me as a husband, that was my time, time to step in and say, okay, she's done all she can do at this point.

I have to do something and I'll look to hire, and I think we've got to do something at this point. She's, she's worked her tail off. So we looked at the nurse and I was just like, well, I've got to start on Ivy because she needs to have a bag or two of Ivy fluid before we can even. Yeah. And I'll say it, wasn't just UCAS.

I'm getting glared at, you know, over here by all. I would say Christine Christina's, you know, making comments like that. And so it's definitely a tough. Position, because I want to honor her wishes as which is why we have her there, but we also have to take into context, you know, the things that she's saying and is this the right time.

And so we went ahead and, and with the head nurse, you know, she was like, well, I got to get her in an Ivy. And I think mentally for Christina, knowing that the, yeah, he was there and then the next step was the epidural mentally. It allowed her to reach her place of calm, knowing that this, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Yeah, whenever that tunnel was going to appear, but there was a light. And so she could see that. And I also stepped in right then and said, you cleared the road, you'd cleared the room. Yup. The moms are leaving the sisters leaving. I'm like the only people that need to be in this room right now are the nurse CAS and Christina.

I was like, everybody else needs to be out. And that's hard for me to, like, I was like, but I recognize that. The birth plan was pivoting and the only people that needed to be part of that decision was your medical team. And then the two of you guys. So we gave you. Space. And I just said, you text me, you know, whenever you're ready for anybody to come back in.

Okay. Very glad you mentioned that because genuinely I respected the fact that you stepped up and made that call and made that move in that situation. So we had that meeting with the head nurse and she said, you know, what do you want to do? She looked at Christine and specifically Christina nodded, you know, let's, let's do something at which point the nurse looked at me and said, she'll never make it.

There's no way we'll make it to the epidural. She's too far along the line. The contractions are too close. This baby's going to show up. There's no doubt. So you made the decision to have the epidural. So decision was made that we were going to have the epidural if, and when the time was appropriate, but she had to get through a bag and a half of an Ivy because we didn't use any obvi at that point.

So they went ahead and got the out of the end, which ended up being a great. Scenario for the way things ended up, which, which we'll get to that. But at that point, Heidi came back in, we invited Heidi back in and Heidi looked at the nurse and said her grunts and where we are, she's pushing, I can hear it in her soul.

She's pushing right now. And the nurse said, we'll grab a leg. Get out. And at that point, the nurses, the mothers came back in and the sister and Christina starts pushing. So we're holding Liz. Yeah. There's no, there's no  yes. Yeah. Are not in the room yet. The head nurse is still in the room though, allowing this to happen and we're pushing.

And you can start to see the baby's head. Wow. It's grounding, but you can also see Christina's relief. I was going to say, and you said, when you, you told her specifically, you said, I want you to do me a favor when the next contraction hits. I want you to push against it. Is that the right time? I want you to push against the contraction to fighting us instead of letting your body have it and, and opening up and accepting the pain.

I want you to push against it. And when she did that, you could tell that there was a sense of relief because you don't have to accept the pain, you can fight against it. And at that point, when she started pushing, it was okay. Completely different scenario because Christina was able to step up and do what.

Women do. And, uh, it was unbelievable. It wasn't like a few pushes though. We definitely had had a road ahead of us. She had like energy. She was kind of, she was back to us. Yeah. She goes back to us. Nominal. Yeah. That's awesome. This is where, like, this is just a teachable moment, right? When the mom gets to know  I can not do this anymore.

No someone saved me. I've heard. I'm dying. I am dying right now. I'm dying. I cannot do this anymore. No, no, no. That is transition. Yeah. That is the definition of transition. And it's like, yeah, you can't even describe it, but hearing you tell your story CAS, I've been a doula for 15 years and. And I'm still learning every birth I'm still learning.

And this reminds me that I need to do a much better job preparing dads for transition when moms want to have a natural childbirth, because. Maybe I didn't do a good enough job preparing you for that level of watching your wife suffer for a little bit of time because labor's painful and then transition can be, if it goes on for a long period of time.

Like closer to four hours instead of two hours. Right, right. It, your pain and will transition with it to suffering. And I think Christina was definitely there. We could see that she was suffering, but what do you, what do you mean by that? Like teach dads on the transition. I guess if I could go back in time, I would have like spent at least some time alone with CAS saying, this is what you would be normal.

This is what we're going to expect. Right. Like, I think that I shared with you guys as a couple, like, this is going to be really difficult, you know, but maybe pulling you aside and saying like, maybe even. Like explaining, like what that primal, guttural, like what that, you know, and I think too, like, I think at this point too, like if I remember correctly, like the mom's and the sister were like, kind of freaking out too, like absolutely.

I think at the end of the day, they were here in Christina. Like I'm over here going, this is normal, you know, I'm like, theirs are like me and the nurses are like, yeah, this is normal. You know, absolutely what you want it, you know, I mean, not really, I don't think she wanted to experience suffering. Right.

But it was part of the pregnancy plan for sure. But no one, I don't think anyone can prepare you for. Exactly what that's going to be like. And I do, you know, partially agree with exact, you could have taken me aside and said, this is going to be bad or this or this, or these are things she might say, but I still think even in the moment that you can't be prepared for it because it's that, but it's your job, right?

It's your job or your role. To protect your wife. Right. And you can't, I also feel like you can, you're not going to coach somebody out of that role because that's your, like, you stood there and said your vows and fell in love and committed that I will protect you. You know? And so I feel like that's kind of where I was like, Made that comment to leave the room so that cast can step up right now as her protector.

You know, one thing we haven't talked about today at all thought we were gonna talk about a lot. I think it's what you're getting at is instincts. Yeah, because I have been absolutely amazed at the natural instincts that I've seen out of my wife, even myself, that I had no idea what was in her, in me. It's it it's like such a beautiful thing, watching Kelly like Sheila and learn that.

Right. Got it. Exactly. I, it's just, it's a level of raw talent that I have seen in my wife that it literally makes my jaw drop. And I think that's one of the crazy, I figured we'd talk about a lot today. We haven't at all. It's probably a whole, whole nother hour. We could go on about it, but just what you're saying, you can't really prepare.

These are instincts and that's, what's going to take it. Take, take us home basically. Yeah, exactly. I mean, interrupt the thought hit me. I was like, we haven't talked about this at all today. Not

do you all agree with that though? It's staggering. It's unbelievable, especially, I mean, your story is very different from mine, but the, after the, what you see every day, something new and how you tackle it and how things just Pat, the first time I comforted him when he cried. I was like bouncing him and then I was rocking him.

He taught me how to do this crap. It's just, and then I find myself legit watching Kelly. Yeah. It's like, look at her. She was born for this admiration is that doesn't even begin to fact be the right word to use for it. And I think part of that is, is watching them in the birthing process. And that's when we first as men.

Oh, my goodness. My wife is a rock star right now. Right. But long story short, we, uh, so, so we're all holding legs there. Doctor finally does come in. She pushes a few more times and, uh, We ended up having Kennedy there. So you basically like deliberate your own child. Essentially. I had a leg, I had a leg. I was right there in the action watching.

Yeah. That's pretty awesome. That is awesome. Watching thumb and you know, it will come out, go back in and, and it was a, that'll be my, if I were you, I delivered my own kitchen and no one else was there, you know, delayed clamping, the whole thing. Um, you know, cutting the umbilical cord, which no one tells you that it's actually.

Fairly tough to kiss. Yeah. I know plenty of cords, but I don't think you really got it. You can't, you gotta put some straps to be coming in. They're soft. You really gotta go at it. And so, you know, no one tells you that. So if there's any guys, listen, you make sure you go at it. But yeah, their arteries and veins, which makes sense.

Logically. Absolutely. So at that point, you know, they, they take Kennedy away. The doctors are in there, we've transitioned to a new doctor at this point who was great as well. Yeah. She's literally at shift change at shift change know 10 minutes before her shift, you know, probably trying to drink her coffee and within five minutes she was in our room.

No way. And Kennedy's head was there. And so, yeah. You know, she, she wasn't as aware of what we were doing as far as it being a natural birth and that, but she caught up very quickly. So they get Kennedy, they get, they get her wrapped up. They give her to me, um, I'm in the corner with her and, you know, and at that point, I've announced to Christina that we have Kennedy at this point, the names were Kennedy or Calhoun.

So, so that's when I got to the, you were telling her, I was like, Hey, Kennedy's here. And. I said it it's Kennedy or something to that effect. And Christina knew that it was no way. How cool is that? Yeah, so it was fun. And like I said, all the moms were in the room. Sister was in the room. Heidi was there with there's that where you like, is that?

No, we had no call out. So, you know, Christina had said to the head nurse, she wanted me to tell her if it was, Oh, you're a girl. She wanted you to tell him, okay, he's saying it's Kennedy. It was just kind of how it happened. I literally saw her. I'm not gonna lie. I looked for about five seconds to see if I could see a, yeah.

It's the right thing. Right. I shouldn't miss anything. And then I turned around and said, you know, Christina, it's good. I like how you did that. Instead of saying it's a girl it's kinda, yeah. So it's also, so we did that. And so I'm at that point, I moved to the couch and I'm holding Kennedy and they've put, yeah.

They put Kennedy on Christina for just a few seconds, but she needed to finish out the end of the process and everything. So they went in and let me do skins. Um, this is kind of where the story kind of transitions. Because we're, we're waiting for the rest of the process to unfold the placenta to drop naturally and, and go from there.

And it doesn't, the umbilical cord actually breaks, uh, leaves the placenta inside of Christina. So at that point, there's a lot of questions. There's a lot of scratching heads kind of like, okay, what's the next move? Christina is not on the epidural. So she all this pain we just endured. Where are we?

Luckily she'd been on Ivy. Um, so I should also mention that while we're waiting on the placenta to drop, they actually put a few stitches in. Okay. So put a few stitches in. Well, when the umbilical cord breaks before the placenta, before there was so please. Yeah. Cause I know the few had been put in at that point, but yeah, so the placenta usually delivers within like five to 30 minutes.

It can take up to like an hour. But if there, if it's not releasing right away, like their doctors are like, well, you might as well get. Like step two, like, so they can go ahead and stitch while they're waiting. Cause the placenta's really soft and, you know, soft and mushy when it comes out. So you can, you can stitch and then deliver the placenta.

So it just seems logically not right to me. Yeah. Okay. But, you know, and I also think that part of that was, you know, Christina's, body's in that fight or flight mode is in that adrenaline rush mode. She's just delivered a baby. So a lot of that pain feeling is, is, is numb if you will, if I could speak for, you know, but so he put a few stitches in and, and we're waiting on the placenta and the umbilical cord breaks off.

And the doctor's just holding just the umbilical cord with no placenta at the other end, which draws a few red flags. And so. I remember the Dr. Lee and Christina, and she says, we have to, you options. I can go in and get it. Or we can go to the, or as, or two options. And Christina had been bound and determined to not do any medical intervention, hindsight being 2020.

We had this conversation yesterday. Christina says, if I knew what I was about to go through in those two hours, I would have went to the, or because that was. And that was going to be under general anesthesia. Right. So she would not have. I've been aware of any of the process that was about to end you mean in the O R in the O R she would have been, Jen would have had no idea what the process was going to be.

So, so at that point she left let's, let's do this, let's get it over with I'm done. Um, so I'm on the couch with Kennedy doing our skin, the skin. They ask everyone to leave the room, I think, including did you, did you were in there with us? So how do you remain? But they did ask the parents to leave. And at that point, they ended up, uh, basically digging, um, elbow deep, if you will, for the next two hours in which I watched Christina come unfolded out of the bed, screaming, like I had not even heard in the contractions, like this is just next level pain while I'm holding Kennedy every time Christina screams Kennedy cries.

So it was, um, And, and completely helpless and that's in that scenario as well. And so that was definitely not a, a part of the process that honestly, it's not planned, but it's also nothing that you can point the kid that you can expect to handle any a certain way, because you're just frozen. I mean, how rare is that rare, rare.

It's very rare. It's why we asked the obese not to tug or pull on the placenta for delivery. I mean, pull me and biblical court. I mean, yeah. Sorry. Is that what happens? Snaps off. Yeah. Um, so it's very, very rare. Cause now so far it's connected to the placenta. Yeah. This obstetrician could not have been more like.

Sweet and mortified, like she was, you know, I mean, you could see on her face, how rare it, like, I don't think it had ever happened to her before. I've certainly never seen an entrapped placenta ever before. It was the one time I heard the doctor and the head nurse say, this is the one time I would contemplate giving a postpartum epidural.

Wow. Right. Because of what we're about to experience, did they say that out loud to Christie? They, they did say that out loud before they started digging or, or in the beginning of the digging process. And I say digging because it's truly, I find that interesting. You're using the word digging because when you watch, when you're sitting on the couch and you have a direct line at your wife, the bed in the sink behind it, like they all are.

Right, right. Yeah. So I'm sitting on the couch and the bed's directly in front of me. I'm holding Kennedy. So I can see Christina's legs are still in the stirrups and the doctor I've watched your hand go from finger to elbow and then come out with pieces of stuff and put it on a silver table, um, and sorry for the graphic details, but that's truly what I was watching.

And it. For two hours or two hours. And it felt like a, if it literally felt like a hostel movie torture scene, because it was that graphic and that painful to watch and let alone, you're not watching a stranger go through this, you're watching your wife go through this process. Yeah. Um, and it's a process that, that, that she 100% wanted because she wanted to go natural and then this happened and, um, yeah, so it was.

It was very, very, I can't even describe how difficult it was. It it's still to the, to the day, like I said, we were talking about it yesterday, where, you know, you want to have that bonding time with your child. It's the first two hours that they're in the world, but you're also so concerned about your wife.

And then instead of my wife, bonding with Kennedy, it's more of her still in survival mode. And at this point again, I mentioned the stitches that went in earlier. They've now ripped out because you have to. To go in. And so it was really, um, yeah, it went from definitely a joyous occasion to something very, very.

Dark level of trauma that people that are alive haven't experienced, right? Like people, if there's some way to look at it, people that are, that are alive have never experienced to go through that sort of a trauma, usually human beings. Don't. No, it exists after something that right. Intense, horrific, even horrific car crash victims.

Aren't conscious that goes through that. Not a lot of after going through a birth. Right. And I think that's one thing that you have not talked about is does Christina recollect that or did she black out and. I don't think she recollects the level of pain because it's just the amount of pain that you can't recount again, because it's okay.

It's fine. Exactly. It's not like, Oh, I remember hitting my hand with a hammer. No, I mean, it's definitely labors in the mix, right. It was next level and no one was working. She, you to shock for those two hours. Yeah, definitely. Cause usually if it's that, yeah. Okay. Hurt. When you looked at her eyes. Where it kind of looked like she was drugged right now.

Like she just kind of looked like drugged indefinitely, the shakes, the shakes, definitely. And physical shock emotionally. I don't think she was. You know, I feel like from my perspective, it appeared to me that she was kind of outside of her body like that actually she may not have had anything left, you know?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I've, I've never seen anything like that. It was definitely, gosh, you know, it's not my wife, you know, cons where I'm going to get a job, tell them, sorry. I can't even imagine it being, you know, being someone that I love. I mean, not that I don't love Christie and I like, you know, grow to love her through this experience.

But I mean, it was very difficult to witness someone just be tortured. And one thing that I just feel like. You know, it's like I have trouble letting go from your birth story. Is that like, um, it was shift change and we asked for morphine like over and over and over again, like, and somehow the morphine just kept not arriving.

Diverted. And it's like, just give her a shot of morphine. Like somebody do something. Yeah. So have you lost your patients at this point with the morphine thing? You know, to be honest at, at this point in Dom I'm, I'm praying to God. And I'm just saying why, you know, at, at this point it's that level of.

Really, this is where we are. This is where we've come. And this is what you're, it's almost like you want to say, this is what you're going to let happen as a faith based person. And there's nothing I can do. So losing my patients or losing my cooler, getting loud is not going to solve the situation because my wife's in traumatic pain.

I just need to let the experts do what they're supposed to do. The grave responsibility of your, and I'm still high on that Kennedy at that point, still holding her. And you know, like I said, every time Christina lets out, you know, Just one of those screams, cause they're digging in her Kennedy has started screaming.

And so, you know, I'm trying to balance that. And so, you know, it's, it was a, that's extremely admirable. There's a lot of, you know, it was a man that would have walked out in the hallway and I was lost. I'm astonished. You are in shock, like a high, like you could actually be functioning in a hold. Hold your daughter and be cognizant of what she's going through and be aware and be like emotionally there.

And so, you know that, so I had that same thought though, but you know what? I went to, as soon as I thought that when I thought a couple minutes ago, what did we just talk about before that? I was literally about to say the same thing, watching Christina do what she did. He didn't have a choice. He had to take care of Kennedy.

Exactly. You know what I mean? Like I felt that exact same thing through school and I was like, no, that's. Yeah. That's, that's the instincts he doesn't have. Yeah. Watching her do her thing, go through her transition battle through accomplish your goal of going natural. Now it was my turn to step up and you know, it, there was no pain involved for me physically, but the emotional toll is my turn to step up.

It was my turn to take care of Kennedy and it was my turn to handle that situation. And so, like I said, I have a whole new, I found respect and love for my wife. Watching that, um, and not just that, um, you know, the whole process in and of itself and, and how women truly just stop everything they're doing that, that concerns them and start looking at what concerns the child, you know, from the essential oils that's within your house, the crazy diets that you end up with, you know, the whole spectrum, the whole game.

It's amazing. Um, but you know, long story short, they ended up getting out. The placenta, they did a few ultrasounds to make sure that that everything was out. And that was the biggest sense of relief. She okay. Now. Oh yeah. I mean, Christina bounce back within, to be honest, within an hour. Wow. She was, she was, and I'm holding Kennedy and our family was in and we had more family coming in at that point.

It's about seven, 8:00 AM. Maybe actually closer to 10:00 AM at that point. And so, yeah, I mean, It's 4th of July and Christina, that's our favorite holiday of all holidays is 4th of July. And so, you know, the, the mood changed very quickly after that. Uh, but definitely still, you know, a traumatic process to look back at it.

And one that honestly, it's still debatable as to whether or not, you know, Christina should talk to someone about it or, or go through that process and what that looks like. But I mean, you talk about strong. Yeah. Not even that. I don't even hold a candle to that. That's awesome. But yeah, I mean, that's our, that's our birth story know kind of in a nutshell.

Yeah. I think she should talk to somebody too. Yeah. And I think I hope tonight was a little bit healing for you just to share. I think that the more for all of you guys, I mean, I think that the more that we talk and share and talk and share, you know, it helps us move through some of the things that we've been through that cause us grief.

All of these are beautiful, joyous. Stories, but all of your journeys, there's a lot of grief and triumph to your stories too. So I just really appreciate you guys being here and just allowing me to be part of your journeys with interest me with your wives and with, uh, you know, helping bring your babies into this world.

I hope we can do this again. Thank you. I don't, I'm not going to speak for the guys, but I think I have thoroughly enjoyed this and you ever need me to do it again? I will be here 100%.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.