34 Conquering Child Loss and Chronic Illness with Erin Vicente and her Rainbow Baby Birth Story

This episode of Birth Story Podcast features a remarkable woman whose tale covers difficult topics such as child loss and chronic illness. Tune in to hear stories of strength, wisdom, growth, and hope in the form of a miraculous rainbow baby from Erin Vicente, marathon runner and rad resident university professor in Boston, Massachusetts. Erin’s favorite baby product is the BEABA Steamer, which is available here.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Leave a review and send a message directly to Heidi on Instagram.

TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what did the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a state.

So here we are within each one to get answers to these tough questions, birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings. And of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts and labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you just love a good birth story.

I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Episode 34 meet Erin. I just want to let everyone know upfront that this episode begins with loss. It is a very powerful and moving story about a woman in Boston and how she fought through a hematoma that almost took her life. And then when she became pregnant, again, was stricken with Haber MSS, and then ever each baby through every twist and turn of episode 34, though, she is teaching and we are learning and I am beyond excited to have you all meet one of my dearest friends today, Aaron.

Welcome to the birth story podcast. Aaron, thanks Heidi. So let's tell everybody a little bit about like who we are and um, how we know each other. Why don't I want to hear your version of this story 18 years later. Yeah. Yeah. So we probably, um, Gosh. I mean, right. We go way back. I haven't, we haven't talked in, I think, 18 years up until this point of deciding, you know, I could maybe come on your show, which is, yeah.

I mean, I think we met in 97. Yeah. Queens university, which was at the time Queens college. And got, it seems like forever ago. Doesn't it? It does in some senses, it feels like it was yesterday. Like I've recently been following you on Instagram and Facebook and yeah. Watching you like run the Boston marathon.

And I just remember, like, it feels like yesterday we would just like leave our dorm room and go for a jog around Queens road in Charlotte. Yeah. And that's, I mean, yeah, I mean, we were friends in college and, um, you know, I think lives, change things, change, you know, people, you, I dunno, you're one way I think in your twenties and you grow.

And sometimes I think it's, you know, you come back and reconnect with people, which is really cool. So, I mean, I just remember you from college, just being this free spirited, loving everyone person who was just, you know, I felt like going to change the world and make an impact. Honestly in some way, just by the nature of you being so caring.

And, um, I just, I would describe you as a free spirit and I, you know, that's totally the way I think of you still. And you know, I've been looking at YouTube, like filing your beautiful story of. Meeting your partner and then having children and then still being friends with so many of the, you know, the friends that we have from college that we shared.

So it is true. It feels like to me, sometimes it feels like a long time ago. I think just because as a person I've hopefully changed in some ways and grown, but then yeah, I mean you think back and you're like, how am I. Or I'm always like, how am I 40 and a half? Like, I remember being 18. I know. And we are roommates for a little while too.

So that was really fun. And Erin, you probably wouldn't even remember this, but like Erin introduced me to the Beatles. And did John Lennon and that was pretty life changing for me. So we had some crazy times in that, um, in that apartment in Charlotte, I know we can't talk about them on here, but I will never forget just those wild times.

Super cool. So, yeah. So you live in Boston? Yep. And what do you do up there? So I live right outside of Boston, actually. I've been here 18 years. I moved here in 2001 and I lived three miles from Fenway park, which is like a milestone in Boston. So I live in a suburb. Well, it's not really suburbs. Still pretty urban called Watertown.

And I am an associate professor of communication. So I teach media literacy, understanding mass media, effective speaking. I teach public relations in our graduate program and I've been at Lasell university for, um, 10 years as a full time professor. You need to send me some interns. I mean, we do a lot of remote internships and I actually teach that class.

That's one of the courses I teach in the spring. So yeah, we'll have to talk about that. Students are just like to be around them. It's so inspiring because they just know so much with technology. And then like, I feel like I'm here to teach them the traditional forms that writing. Speaking are still important and I'm like, take that with you to your digital platforms.

So it's pretty cool. Yeah. I want to hear more about that. So Aaron, tell me about how you met your husband. So. I met Jeremy. So it's kind of a long story. So I was in graduate school. Cool. I was in finance, like in banking when I first came up to Boston, not really knowing what I wanted to do. I majored in business at Queens university and kind of moved to Boston.

And with, um, a couple of girlfriends, I had a couple of high school friends, um, that you've met before. Heidi, Jen, and Lindsay. And. We all kind of congregated here and, you know, flash forward, I was, I didn't want to be in finance. So I went back to school for public relations and advertising and I was in graduate school and a bunch of my friends Valentine's day, weekend.

Um, we're going up to Kellington to skate and I couldn't ski. And I had a night class that the night that they were leaving and I was like, I can't go. And they were like, come on, just go and sound the weekend. And I was like, I can't. So I was walking home from class. That night. And, uh, my apartment lights were on and I walked in my door and my roommates and a couple of my friends were sitting there and I was like, I thought you guys were supposed to be in Killington.

And they're like, yeah, Mandy got a flat tire. And the snow was coming down in Boston. And they're like, this means that you have to come with us. This is a sign. So I packed my bags and we headed up to Killington, which is about. Four hours from Boston around. I don't know, we probably left about eight o'clock, maybe eight 30.

And we got up to Killington around 1130 or 12 o'clock and there's this wild bar called the pickle barrel, which is just like bands playing till three in the morning. Like everybody's just there for the ski weekend. And so of course we didn't stop at the house that my friends had rented. First. We stopped at the pickle barrel to get a few drinks and I was, you know, Hanging out with my friends and, you know, I, I see this guy in like the coolest hat ever.

And, um, I was like, wow, that guy has a really cool hat on. And then he turned around and it's like, it's like cliche, like what you maybe see in like a. Movie. And you're like, yeah. Right. But like, my heart just stopped. And um, I said to my friend, wow, that guy's really cute. My friends like, go talk to him. You know, you haven't, you've been in Boston for two or three years.

You haven't really dated anybody and you haven't, you know, had a boyfriend or anything. And she's like, I'm going to go up to him. And it was, this is my girlfriend, man. And I'm like, no, what is that? We're not in sixth grade. And she went up to him and was like, Hey, my friend wants to meet you. And of course I ran away.

So I w I was like, I am not in sixth grade. We are not doing this. And so he's like, yeah, let me, let me just pay for my beer and I'll come over and meet her, but I had run. And so, you know, I went my way in that half an hour later, I see my friend Mandy, and she's like, where'd you go? I wanted to introduce you to that guy.

And I'm like, you're crazy. Like, forget about it. And then like party continues on and, and I'm walking, you know, up the stairs and he was walking down. And I was like, in my heart, it was like, Oh my God, that's the guy with the hat. Like, he's, you know, that's him. And he stopped me and he goes, Hey. And I said, Hey.

And we just started talking. And you know, he told me he worked for the Celtics and I thought, yeah, right in my head. And I was like, Oh, I live in Boston. And he's like, I live an hour outside of Boston. I'm still in with my mom. I'm trying to make, you know, I'm trying to be a camera man. And, you know, make this thing work.

And I was like, all right, whatever. So we exchanged numbers and then. The next day we exchanged numbers. Cause he was like, yeah, you want to ski tomorrow? And I didn't know how to ski Heidi. I was like, yeah, sure. In my head I'm like, if this guy calls, like I'm not getting on skis in front of him, like what the hell?

I do not know how to see. So, um, he called me the next day. I don't know, probably like. Eight times like the whole entire day until like finally you couldn't ski anymore. The mountain was closed. He still texted me or called me and was like, Hey, we're going to meet up at this bar. You know, you should come.

And I told my friends, I'm like, I don't know. I'm not going to call them. Like, it's weird, whatever. And they were like, you better call him. So I called them back and we met at this other wild and crazy bar. And. And then that's, that's really all, all the story wrote. I mean, you know, I got back to Boston and he called me like the next week and we met up and I was, you know, I remember him walking to meet me.

He was walking down the street in Boston and I was coming out of my apartment and. I was like, look, I gotta go to this party at my friend's house. You want to come? And he was like, sure. You know, I didn't know if he thought we were going to grab dinner or something, but I ended up bringing him to my friend Mandy's house, who was the girl who went up to him originally at the bar.

And when we got to her apartment, he's like, I've met you somewhere. And she goes, yeah. I went up to you in the bar. The girl that I went up to about was Aaron. So he had never seen me originally when she went up to him. But then, you know, he made the connection. Ooh, that gives me goose, bumps all over. No, it was just like, I was, it was fast love and you know, everything in between and scary and all those things.

Cause I had never felt, you know, that wave on anyone and I just, you know, flash forward, 16 years later, here we are and it's not perfect. And it's hard. And you know, you grow, you change. I mean, we've been together since we were 25, 2004. So it's, um, you know, it's intense and, and a lot of things change and, you know, so that's, that's, it's about, and we got married in 2008, so we were together for about four years and, you know, got engaged for a year.

And then, um, We had a rock and wedding in Jersey. Oh my gosh. I love it. We'll have to like post some pictures on Instagram when this episode airs of this, uh, uh, I really like just want a picture of you and skis now.

Okay. I was like, I bet he taught you how to do. There was no way I was going to be with him. Cause he's, you know, he's like a Renaissance man. He, you know, he's very treated obviously, as you know, Forts. And he doesn't do it for the love of sports. He does it for the creativity, but he's a skier of fishermen.

He loves motorcycles. He's got this like 1962 rambler. He loves cars. He's very into cars. So he's got like, you know, he just bought this crazy motorcycle for the Cape that like doesn't run, but he's going to make it run. I'm like, whatever, Jeremy do your thing. So I know that he films. But everyone listening.

Doesn't so tell us a little bit, cause he's got a really exciting job. So tell us about what he does. I mean, it's crazy. So when I met him, he was a starving camera man. And, um, he was just doing like kind of the inhouse jumbo stuff that you would see if you go to a game, those screens where they film the audience, but he wanted to work for television like ESPN and NBC.

And so, um, he was a mechanic on the side. He worked at a kitchen place. As well when I met him, like not just the Celtics doing their jumbotron stuff, but he worked at a kitchen store managing the fleet of cars for all the salespeople that like sold the kitchens. He was like their oil change guy and their, their mechanic.

And so, um, you know, he just kept, kept pursuing, trying to figure out who were the cruisers? How could he get his way into ESPN? He had me behind him and you know, I remember him. In Oh seven when he wanted to marry me, I was like, you know, how are we going to afford to live in and be able to do what we want to do?

Cause I was still in graduate school and like he legit was, it was a starving camera man. And my dad sat him down and was like, look, you know, Erin can take care of herself, but you know, what does this camera thing mean? And he's like, you know, this is the only thing I see myself doing. So he just. You know, probably at the breaking point where I was like, is this what you want to do?

Is there anything else you can do? And he was like, this is the only thing I want to do. And only thing I can do, um, just, it was his passion. He got a call to go film, professional bull riding. And he came home smelling like manure. And I was like, great, is this like what life's going to be about? But that writing gig, you know, led to another show, which led to another show, which within a year, you know, directors were asking him from all over from NBC and ESPN to, you know, film lacrosse, film, the Stanley cup, film, the NBA finals.

And it just kind of skyrocketed from there. And now whenever I like log onto Facebook, you can always see your husband. There's somehow, always a picture of like your husband with his camera, like right in the action of this morning. That's crazy. I mean, foot broken. I'm like, why aren't you moving? He's like I had to get the shot.

I mean, you know, his uncle was a camera man. For the best damn sports show out in LA, like Fox sports. And unfortunately, Jeremy right before, not right before a couple of years before I met him, he was going out to LA for an internship. There's on call, who was in TV, but his uncle unfortunately is on the first plane that hit the towers nine 11.

So his uncle who was his inspiration kind of, um, you know, he's ankle passed away. He was 31 years old and that Jeremy's kind of always carried that with him, that he was gonna make it, or, you know, make it for his uncle. And so he kind of lives with. With that on his shoulder and his uncle, Tommy won an Emmy and he filmed, you know, Joan Rivers and, you know, Jeremy thought he was so much older at the time, but he was 31 years old.

So he was a he's the talent runs in the family. There's a gift for that creativity and that camera, camera, and man aspect, I guess. Ugh. And I just, I really love like watching your families. Story has unfolded over the years. And so you guys got married in 2008 and then usually it's like, right afterwards, people are like, when are you going to have a baby P and M?

So tell me about like, when you guys decided. Two, if you even decided, did you get pregnant on accident? Did you make a decision to have a family? How did that look? So, um, I mean, obviously we weren't ready in Oh eight. I felt, you know, I was still wrapping up, uh, graduate school and I was thinking about doctorate programs.

And I'm teaching full time, kind of had come to, into play as a thought of me being a professor. And, um, Jeremy's career was just taking off and we lived in this like little apartment in Watertown. He's really funny together. Oh eight. And then when we first got married and Heidi, like I drive by it now.

And at the time I thought it was a castle, right? Like it was probably 400 square feet, as you know, you're just so in love that you think everything is great. Nothing works apart. We had like this little grill that we would grill on outside the tile was cracked. We had a futon in our living room. We didn't have anything to our name and, you know, I just drive by it now.

And it was like a kingdom to me back then. So it's just, it speaks a lot. It speaks volumes to what, you know, what was going on then. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, it's crazy. Like I'm never going to become my mother, but I totally did like the way she's being the fireman, you know? So anyway, so, you know, we bought a house and it was, you know, a total fixer rapper.

And so we, we worked really, really hard to fix it up. And that was like in Oh nine. And then in about Oh 10, um, my sister got pregnant in may. 2009. And, um, you know, we began talking about it and thinking about it, of course, right around there. And this is your little sister little sister who's a year younger and lives a block away from me.

So she has two beautiful children, Rory who is in third grade. And then I have Juliana who's in second grade and then Brynne who's in first grade and I have Donovan and kin who's in kindergarten. So my mom for four years straight was literally up here every year, helping, because we were delivering babies together back to back to back.

Amazing hospital. Like I didn't go to the traditional hospital that everybody talks about and we'll, we can maybe get to that why, but, um, Mount Auburn, which is in Cambridge, so it's about a half a mile from Harvard square. You know, their C section rate is like pretty much 90 and we ended up having the same nurse.

Who is in the delivery room for all four of our children. Yeah. What does that happen, Lisa? Like, I'll never forget her, you know, to, and, and we can get to, you know, my doctor wanted to try and, you know, force some, some Pitocin on me with Donovan and Theresa was like, I've seen this girl's hips work. Like, she's fine.

Let her go. Gosh, I love Teresa. Yeah, no, we love to resend me. She ended up retiring. She has kids, but we sent her baskets and, you know, Theresa be like, you're back to my mom. Cause as, I don't know if you remember, but my mom's an RN and she's been an RN for 37 years. So they talked to nurse speak and um, you know, I feel like Theresa was really the one who helped deliver my babies.

Like she was the one who was coaching me, you know, telling me I can do it, you know how that story goes. So I'm like praise our labor and delivery come on out. So, um, so, so your sister got pregnant and then. Um, in may like 2009 and I, and Rory was doing January, 2010 and, um, Jeremy and I began talking about it, you know, in October and November, you know, I was obviously, um, on birth control at the time and I went off it.

In November. And I said, you know, I think let's, let's do this. And he was like, are you sure? Are we ready? And I'm like, well, look, I love you and I want to meet with you. So yeah, we're married, we're ready. Like, let's make some babies. So we, you know, obviously we're not using it thing. And my sister delivered Rory January 24 at first and I was in the hospital.

I remember. And I was feeling so tired and lethargic and just like really, really. Just not myself. And I don't even think if I, I don't even remember if I noticed or not, but you know, I must not have gotten my period. I don't even know I got it in December, but, um, I found out I was. Pregnant about a week after Lauren delivered vori, because I did miss my period in January and I knew it, but I couldn't tell you if I missed it in December.

I mean, it was pretty regular, but who knows? I was, you know, not really, I don't know if I was paying attention, but I was pregnant, so, you know, and overjoyed and elated and all those things. And so, um, You know, I took the task and Jeremy came home and I showed him, you know, the stick and we just weren't just, you know, so happy and it happened, you know, pretty quickly.

And your, your first symptom though, was you're just so tired. No, you're not. I don't remember if my, my think my, my, you know, my breasts were sore and I felt like probably bloated, but, you know, I was also young and I thought, man, did I have, you know, study? Did I eat something that was salty? Or like, it wasn't even in my head, like, I didn't even, you know, I mean, you hear all that thing.

Like you have to hit your ovulation and it's not going to happen. But I mean, obviously we were. Sexually active. So what was it like? You know, we were, we were, we weren't like, we gotta do it now. I wasn't on any oscillation kid or anything. We were just being our natural selves and it happened, it happened pretty quickly too.

Really? Yeah. So you do, I guess, like back then you peed on the stick and found out you were pregnant. And then when did you go to the doctor? So, uh, right away. Okay. So I was, um, I was, I was pretty new. I might've been like five or six or six weeks, you know, I had to be six weeks. So I think I was probably six weeks based on what they said.

And, you know, they said, everything looks good, the baby looks good. And you know, yeah. So everything was going good. And, you know, I felt good and just again, really tired. And so at this point, this was my first year as a full time professor. At LaSalle. So I was hired full time as a, is any professor this year.

So it was really my year to prove myself. So this was the second semester, obviously that it happened because it happened in January and I was also in a doctorate program and Lasell had said, you know, if we give you the opportunity to be a visiting professor, it doesn't guarantee you a job. The following year, we are going to bring in other candidates.

And you also need to finish your doctorate within five years, if we do end up keeping you on. So I was feeling a lot of pressure work-wise and you know, it was really, really snowy. And it was about the end of January 1st week, maybe going into February. And right before my birthday, my birthday is February 7th.

And you know, it was snowing in Boston and snowing in Newton where I worked. And, um, I got out out of my car and I slipped and I fell. And I was pregnant and, you know, nothing happened. I just, I freaked out a little bit. I fell onto my side and, um, you know, I still went and taught my classes, you know, I was nervous and I called my mom.

I remember calling my mom and saying, I slipped on ice. I slipped on the snow I fell and you know, she's like, it's, everything's fine. Don't worry. And I went home that day after work around four or five. And I noticed some spotting in my underwear and in the toilet and I called Jeremy right away. And I said, um, you know, I seem to be spotting and bleeding a little bit.

And I called my mom and she's like, you know, it could be normal. That happens. You're pretty early. But she said, um, you know, I want you to think about going to the doctor. So I said, all right. So I called the doctor and they were like, you know, You need to come in right away tomorrow morning. And I said, sure.

And the next morning is, you know, there probably could have been a sadder story that I wrote. I was walking down my stairs at my house, which were, I see on the outside we had had, you know, February's one of the worst months here and I fell again and I started bleeding. Really really heavily right away.

And so I was crying and I was, you know, on my way to the doctor. And, um, I went to the doctor and I said, I fell and you know, they were like, it's okay. That's okay. They did an ultrasound. They said the baby looks fine. They couldn't see anything on the ultrasound. And basically sent me home and the bleeding, persisted and persisted and persisted.

For days, weeks until the point of the last two weeks before I had lost the baby, I was saturating a pad every 15 to 20 minutes of full-on blood. And every time I was using the toilet, I never saw the color. Clear. I never saw the color of yellow urine, white urine. I saw complete blood. I was literally bleeding out and the baby, he was surviving.

Yeah, basically. And so in between this Heidi, they had, you know, I had been sent to Brigham and women's, which was, you know, a different hospital than I had been, you know, that I was. Thinking about giving birth out, man Auburn at the time. And I was seeing a specialist at Brigham and women's who was, you know, had come out of a residency program in Philadelphia.

She had, she was part of Harvard and she had died, you know, said that I had a hematoma and they don't know that much about hematomas leader. Not a lot of women get them and you never bleed out. A lot of women get them the first 12 weeks and you bleed and it goes yeah. Was away. But mine was just getting progressively worse.

And was it correlated with the falls? So they wouldn't ever tell me that. And I, I think in my heart that I probably had some sort of vessel that was there that maybe there was, like I said, you can have a hematoma, Heidi and never, it goes away. I think. In my heart that they never wanted to break my heart and say which, cause I kept asking and they couldn't give me the answer.

And I was looking at research online and trying to read journals through Harvard. And I had come to find that there was just so little known about hematomas and why they form. And if you're going to, you know, if you have a sub chorionic hematoma, which is what I had, um, you know, if the baby's going to survive.

So now I know what that is. But do you want to define that for the audience? I'm a sub chorionic. Yep. So it's just a large pool of blood that sits behind the placenta, or can be part of your placenta lining it's. Um, it's often can be attributed to a vessel. Um, and it's so essentially it's just the pool of blood that's sitting there with your baby and it can cause you to go into preterm labor.

Um, you know, and it depends on the severity of it. You know, I can tell you that even being at Brigham and women's, which is one of the most world renowned hospitals, right? Like I'm in Boston where they like make babies happen. Do you know what I mean? Like you got Beth Israel, you've got MGH, you've got, you know, bring them in women's.

I mean, you've got people in the medical industry that are on the forefront of, you know, Birth and just every kind of disease and just, you know, I go really holistic. If you want to see a holistic doctor that believes in natural birth, which is, you know, I wanted it to be as natural as possible, then you can, you can have that.

But, um, you know, they knew very little about why mine was persistent and why I just kept bleeding out basically is what they were saying. Did you have signs of anemia? Oh yeah. So I'm going to get to that. So, you know, here I am, I'm trying to do my best in this teaching position because I wanted it so bad to be a professor.

And, um, you know, it's February and you know, I didn't tell anybody at work what had happened. I kept it to myself and my mentor. Who's a female. Who's the most standing person in the world. I didn't even tell her. It was almost like I was shamed or something. Like I had felt like I had done something wrong because I fell and I couldn't come to grips with it.

Right. Like I was trying so hard to keep myself okay. So the baby would be okay. And Jeremy was working a grueling schedule. You know, I'm filming and trying to be around as much as possible, but when you're bleeding out, you're calling the doctor all the time. They're telling you to come in, you know, I'm thinking I'm losing the baby, maybe in the toilet multiple times.

Yeah. Because I'm seeing what looks like a fetus and like literally calling my mom, taking pictures, saying, what is this? And her not knowing. Like I thought I had lost the baby a number of times and was like, you know, by myself in my house. And my sister had a brand new baby and was breastfeeding and she was trying to help me.

And I would just go from work to her couch and just bleed. Basically. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. And, you know, It was crazy. It was insane. And it, she lived very close to where I taught. And so at the time our house was 13 miles from where I was working. So, you know, I had gone in a number of times for IVs and they just kept following the ultrasound ultrasound, monitoring the baby.

And the baby was what they, from what they could tell fine, like he, or she was fine, but I wasn't. So it was March and. I was teaching and my institution had said, you know, we were gonna do a job search for your position, and it's not guaranteed that you'll get an interview. You've done a really good job for us teaching the past year.

You know, I was an adjunct part time faculty member at this institution prior to that, but there was a search committee and they ended up bringing in three candidates who all had their PhDs and like phenomenal things. And one woman in fact did her, um, she was. She had a PhD in speech communication, but her dissertation was on, um, birth in the Appalachian mountains or something like it was wild.

So, um, you know, I ended up being a part of the job candidacy and search. And so, um, two days before I was supposed to interview, we're now getting into March. I woke up one morning and I had been bleeding all night and we bleed bleed. I mean, Heidi, you know, I could never, I. I mean, I can't even, you couldn't even make this up, but like, I, again, I, every time I use the bathroom, I didn't see, I did not see the color red for like almost two months straight.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And I'm assuming at this point, like with the anemia, like you're feeling like I'm dying down, that's the way to put it. I'm 31 or 32 years old and I'm dying. So I woke up one morning and I looked at Jeremy and said, I'm going to faint. And he said, I'm calling nine one one and I'm calling an ambulance.

And I said, no, please. I just, you know, get me to the hospital. And I went into the hospital and, um, You know, they're taking my vitals or they're trying to make sure the baby's okay. And they don't know much about this hematoma, why it's growing to this monster, like why I'm continuing to bleed out. They still, you know, I was seeing this woman and, and, um, I, you know, she couldn't tell me again if it was the fall.

And I was thinking in my head and I had all these emotions all over the place. And, you know, obviously I was probably also dealing with hormones, but. They looked at Jeremy and they said, Aaron has lost a quarter percent, 25% of her body's blood within two weeks. From the last time that I had, I had seen the doctor.

So did they start transfusions right away? So, yeah, so they said, and we're going to tell you right now, the way that she's bleeding out, she's going to need a transfusion every week. And we're not sure that this baby's going to make it, but more importantly, if your wife is going to ha she would have had a massive heart attack.

Had you not brought her in this morning because. Of the blood loss. Like that's literally what they were saying. So they said you have a decision to make, you know, we're going to tell you right now that most likely with the size of this hematoma, the baby's not going to make it, or he or she is going to be born at between probably 20 and 22 weeks.

And the research points to that, you know, um, with this type of hematoma, the size that I had at the time, the size that they thought I had. I mean, I can't remember the exact size Heidi, cause I probably blocked it out. It's probably on like, you know, it's on my medical record somewhere, but they said, you know, you guys need to talk because you know, we might have to, you know, an option is to abort the baby.

And so Jeremy and I sat in this room and it was cold. And I remember just sitting there and I remember it's so emotional still, you know, um, if it makes you feel any better, I'm totally balling. Sure. I remember thinking like, do this, like, I can keep this baby the cure, she's going to make it. And Jeremy's like, I, you know, I love this baby cause we make your hermit, but I'm worried.

You're not going to make it continue to believe like this. I mean, and I had an interview in two days for the position that was so I believe it or not, that ran through the back of my mind. And I'm. I just, um, you know, I hadn't told anybody of a salad. I hadn't told anybody I fell. I hadn't told anybody, you know, they should, they should have cleaned up the ice better.

They should have made professors come in. We should have had a snow day, all this stuff you're thinking, you know? And so I'm in this room with him and, and, um, you know, he said, well, what is it going to look like for the baby? If he or she is born at 20 weeks or 21 weeks. And you know, to go through that.

You know, and that wasn't even a guarantee, Heidi, you know, I hear I was like 14. And so, um, we had made a decision that we couldn't keep the baby and I was rushed right into surgery. And you know, my mom and dad drove from New Jersey and they made it, I mean, I was rushed, but I was still there for hours.

You know what I mean? And my mom and dad made it and I just remember sitting in, you know, with him in the room and I had to go under anesthesia and. I remember looking at him and he said, we're going to be okay. And he was crying. And I said, yeah, you know, we'll be okay. And you know, so we, we had to terminate the pregnancy and, um, you know, that you even have to say it that way though, because sorry, I'm losing my beans right now.

But like, I just don't even see it that way. Like I just don't even see it as like a choice, you know? Like it just, I did feel like it was a choice because they ate no, no, they, they shouldn't have, they should have said like, we. Like you're, you're saving your, your life right now. He was like, I just don't know, like, nothing is guaranteed.

Like if you have this baby, what if you're not here, this baby together? And so I remember sitting in the room and just, I felt like such a failure. You know what I mean? Like I felt like, wow, like I can't even miss baby, like the life that, you know, he or she deserves him. I feel I've always felt strong my whole life, but, you know, it was, it was intense Heidi and, you know, we made that decision together.

And so I went into surgery and you know, when I came out, the doctor said, I'm going to tell you something and it's not to make you feel better. The size of the hematoma that we thought you had behind the baby. There was a size of a Coke can more of blood that they didn't even know was sitting there. So there was another.

Cool of black people see that they couldn't see that most likely that baby sure. Wouldn't have. Yeah. That placenta was going to detach, detach you guys. Yeah. And wouldn't have made it. So, and I mean, when that placenta detaches, I'm sure that they tell you then too. I mean, that's really where. Yeah, you don't make it either.

No, you, so, so, you know, you hear the words like your wife has last a quarter percent of her blood and in two weeks, it wasn't over the course of all those weeks that I was bleeding. It was the last time I went in there. And so I was like, I basically was a shell and I was. We're still doing this job and the students didn't even know, and I'd be standing lecturing and I'd be feeling the blood, saturating the pad, and I'd have to be like, excuse me, I have to use the restroom.

And, you know, I came out of surgery and I felt okay. And you know, they talk to you and it's pretty, like, it's pretty, it's pretty cut and dry, right? Like they're pretty much all right. This is what you can do. You can't do you can't try for a baby for six months. We want your body to rest. Yeah. And it's like, okay.

So, um, you know, two days later went into my job interview after having that decision and being through whatever I went through and I had to so give you plenty of blood though. Like they gave you a blood transfusion. Yeah. The surgery was successful in the sense that like your uterus was. They said I'd be able to have more children and I felt fine.

Believe it or not. The next day I had felt better than I felt in months, Heidi, because that blood, yeah. So, so, you know, two days later I was in a classroom lecturing for the job in front of the search committee. I was interviewing all day long and, um, you know, I also, I ended up getting the job. So it was a really crazy, crazy time.

And I just think like back to what I was going through mentally, and to have to kind of put that in my mind somewhere else for that time being, because there was also this desire that I wanted to be able to be a successful woman in this career that I knew jobs don't come up all the time for my children.

So it was just, it was just a lot on my plate. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you. Things for listening to this first story podcast, I am so excited to announce the launch of my book. Birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy, a collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice and journaling prompts.

You can order a copy today@birthstory.com. It also will mean the world to me. If you'll spread the word about this podcast, so on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. So, you know, Jeremy and I took some time off and we went to Puerto Rico in June and came back and felt ready to try again.

And we try it again. And I found out I was pregnant in August of 2011 and, um, I got pregnant right away again. And, uh, Flash forward to Juliana who was born and it was born on the super moon. So she's a super moon baby. Oh my gosh. Of the Buddha. And so, um, she, she's just amazing in every way and everything I wish I could be.

And I'm like, where did you come from? You Spitfire. And, um, She heard you date was April 28th. And so she was 21 inches long and almost nine pounds. She was 8.6, five pounds and she was born May 5th. And so we were waiting and waiting for, and she was incubating and incubating and, you know, she was getting all of my nutrients, but, um, It's it's wild because when I had her, I began, um, I knew I was pregnant right away again, because my breasts got really swollen this time tired.

And I just knew it. And we were also trying, by this point, I was so nervous and we had wanted a baby so bad that I did the oscillation kits that are like a waste of money. You know what I mean? Like when you're fertile, they're a waste of money. So, I mean, I, you know, I did though, man, I was, I remember calling Jeremy at work.

I was like, what do you mean? He's like, you're being crazy. Like the first it was good. So he's like, Aaron, please don't go a hundred miles per hour. And he's still telling me that to this day, he's like, you go 160 miles per hour. I'm like, that's why I married. You. Yeah, you are always like that. The train had left the station before, like anyone even knew the train was coming in.

That's true. We're like chaser, go get her hurt. Entrepreneurial spirit is gone. I have a friend who calls me a firecracker and she met me, you know, as a friend, I read that and she's like, you are just such a firecracker. And I'm like, yeah, that's the perfect way for me. Super laid back. Super creative and just wants to like chill out.

And so, um, I laugh because Juliana, my, my daughter looks exactly like them. So he's half Puerto Rican, half Italian, like straight up half Puerto Rican, half he's gorgeous. She, Oh, no, she got the, um, she got the looks. Of him. And I feel like Donovan has some dark features, but he's got the roundness of my Irish, my Irish face.

So, you know, so we, she was just an amazing baby. Yeah. And she came when she wanted to. And she just, um, the only thing is I had lost 13 pounds. The first 12 weeks I had ended up being diagnosed with hyper Amicus and, um, significantly. So, um, there, I was again, um, back, you know, they were already keeping a close eye on me for what had happened, but I was, um, You know, having to go in for IVs a lot.

I was vomiting so much and I remember, you know, one Saturday I had to go into urgent care cause I was just feeling so, so weak. And they're like, if you can keep this Cracker down and a little sip of something, then we will let you go. And like, I took a bite of a Cracker and like, Ice cube. And I ended up vomiting like 12 times.

They were like, you cannot go. Like we are going to have to actually like, keep you here. If you know, if this is how it's going to be. So I ended up throwing up the entire pregnancy like that. So I have a question for you on this because Amy Schumer, you know, the famous comedian suffered from the same condition and she kind of has brought light to it recently on her Instagram and things.

But I've had a few clients over the years that had it and they ended up getting like a pump. Put in their arm, that was like a continuous flow of medicine. Did you? Yeah, I get that. I don't know. So that was the option at the point that I had reached and they said, we're going to have to keep you here, but I didn't.

Um, that wasn't something they forced me to do. You know, I go to a practice that was really. You know, they really are just a group of women that don't push kind of anything. And I know IVs, aren't really pushing. I mean, that's pretty, that's some fluid, but they,

I mean, they're as natural as it gets. Like if you have it, you'll be fine. Fine. The baby's thriving. Your throwing up doesn't mean anything. They're still getting the nutrients. Believe it or not that they need to. So, you know, I had vomited significantly as I mentioned the entire pregnancy, but it did dwindle a little bit, you know, I was able to eventually keep potatoes down.

I say that I, I ate more potatoes and you could believe, and in fact, I remember Jeremy coming home from Celtics games late night and I'd be like, Stop at KFC. I need to mashed potatoes one time I needed them so desperately. Cause it was like all I could eat. And you know, my sister at this point is trying to help me still.

I mean, she's got a, uh, a baby still in Rory and she was just amazing. I mean, she, she took care of me on nights. He worked, my mom and dad were coming from New Jersey, like weekly. Like everybody was all in. Helping me, you know, as much as they could. So yeah, I remember Jeremy came in one night and he opens the bag and he takes out a chicken tenders and he was like, Oh, I got hungry too.

You know? And I'm like, okay. And the potatoes weren't in the bag. I'll have to curse on this. What the fuck get out of the room? What you're eating your nugget. You didn't even check the bag. You know, you gotta check the bag. And he was like, Oh my God, all I wanted was the potato. I feel like you need to leave right now and do not return until you have mashed potatoes.

No. Do you want me to go get him? Don't even come near me. Don't even come in this room. I don't want to smell it. So like, it was just so funny. I mean like the potato situation was like incredibly, like I would take a potato from anywhere if I could get mashed potato baked potato. And so, um, I'm so glad you're talking about this though, because I feel like.

I really feel like Amy Schumer is like the first person that like really brought light to this recently and Kate Middleton yet had it too. So, but like here, like really like all these super famous people talk about it a little bit. So I'm like, I want you to talk about it like a little bit more now. So you, so you've lost 13 pounds.

The only thing you can eat potatoes, but like, you're literally not like, I feel nauseous. You're like, I feel nauseous and I'm vomiting every, so then let me break it down to you. So I skipped a couple parts of the story and I don't know if we're going to have to, like, if you'd have to go back and add that, but I think it's still can be, make sense what I'm saying.

So I had, once I had gotten pregnant, I let Lasell know my boss know right away what had happened, that I'd fallen. You know, past winter. And I had, you know, I was suffering greatly from hyperemesis. And so all hands on deck were helpful at, at my institution as well. I'll tell you, I only missed one class despite vomiting.

I would literally be teaching and be like, excuse me. And there was one point that I just couldn't hold it, that I grabbed the bucket in the classroom and went out in the hall and began vomiting. Like that's real life. And if you're in your twenties and you're thinking about having children someday, then you've got to see this.

I was happy to do that for all the females in the class. And I was like, this is like an Heidi. I would take a sip of water and keep going. Yeah, my lecture is implemented. It's like, we can tell our bodies though, to hold it. It was like crazy. Like, I would struggle so much to hold that, that vomit. Yeah. You know, so you're hyperemesis, you're, you're literally over it.

You're throwing up all the time. You're gagging. When you don't have any food in your system, you're saying the vomiting bile, like, so I was really, really scared because I was scared that all my thrusting was going to hurt the baby from my experience, the first pregnancy. So on edge every time I still went to the bathroom I was looking for.

Yeah. And you're trying to gently vomit. I would imagine the vomit. I was trying to be normal and everyone's like, don't worry. This pregnancy is different. You're not going to bleed again. It's fine. And I know there's some statistics out there that if you've had a hematoma, it's actually very minimal that you'll have another one again.

So, and again, I, I think in my heart of hearts, now that my fault that maybe I had a hematoma that was there, like a little blood vessel, but I think the fall is what brought it. Out, you know what I mean? I may have had a hematoma, never known about it. You know what I'm saying? So at this point I was trying to really come to terms with that still, but I was so excited about the beautiful baby girl that we were finding out, you know, we were eventually going to have.

And, um, so this hyper Meese is like, it overtook me. So I didn't see my, my best friends for. You know, nine months they would call me and be like, can we get together? And I'd be like, I'm dying. And they would, they didn't even understand it. I didn't want anybody over my house. Like, I was just constantly vomiting.

Like I feel like I even missed my, my friend's life and they missed part of my life pregnant. I mean, I had a baby shower, but that's like where they saw me. So, because you just had to get up, get to work, get your job done and get home. Yeah. And yet home and I, this was Lasell took a chance on me. I didn't have my doctorate and I just.

One wanted two, you know, again, still prove myself. And it was my first year as a full time non visiting professor. You know, even though I had that here, you know, year of working and I was also in a doctoral program, so let's not forget that. So behind the scenes, so when the cell hired me, they gave me five years to finish my doctorate.

And I was like, Oh, I'll do it in three. And they're like, you will never do this in three, like a dissertation takes a year or two to write. So I was already into my program about a year and a half. So I was any free time I had was literally throwing up teaching and going to class. Like I swear to God, I don't even know where Jeremy was in this point.

He just said like, I was planning for nine months straight. Like, I feel so sorry. Cause like I couldn't even, you know, I couldn't even feel. Touch him. And he wanted to touch me all the time. So I was having his baby. You know what I mean? I use that word all the time on this show or like you, I was like by boy, like in a way, so, you know, At this point, you know, I should say though, too, the doctors had put me on Zofran because the vomiting is so severe.

So do you know what cell Fran is? Oh yeah, girl. I took it every single day of my whole pregnancy and I did not have this condition. I just said I'm just not good with nausea. Ah, okay. I wasn't, I vomited like a few times here and there, but I. Like con I just couldn't deal with the nausea. And then the sense then let me just put it disclaimer out there since we're, we are, we're a little bit older, 40 years old, and our babies are a little bit older now, because since then, they've actually, there's a warning out there, you know, about Sophia and, and heart condition.

So if anyone's listening, like Zofran is still used in pregnancy for these things, but just, um, it's not, it used to be. Used a little bit more like flippantly, like, Oh yeah, everybody just takes over. And if you nauseous and that's how I took it every single day of my pregnancy. But now there is a, there are some FDA regulations and warnings around that.

So we'll let you say that. So you were taking Zofran. I was taking Zofran. I think it's a miracle drug. Did it work for hyperemesis? Now if it barely works for me, but it's safe. So they gave it to me after the 12th week, because I just was not stopping bombing. So I felt so guilty taking it. I mean, again, Heidi, you know, like I can't talk enough about what losing that baby.

Like, I didn't want to put anything in my body that I didn't know a lot about or that I felt. Could do anything to him or her. Cause you know, we still didn't know the sex at 13 weeks. And so, but I had to, my mom was like, you're gonna like you, you, you cancer, you have to just take it. It's fine. So, um, I think the most I threw up in one day, like in literally threw up like bio was 21 times I counted.

I mean, I was just over the toilet. I mean, I basically was, felt like I was dying again. So I would just like teach, get dressed, come back home, crawl into bed, phonics, violent, violent. You know what I mean? Just be so and again, like, yeah, women don't talk about it. Like, I would tell people like I have hyperemesis and you know what they would say to me, they'd be like, Oh yeah, I got morning sickness my first 12 weeks.

And I'd be like, no, Different. Okay. So this is like a teachable moment, right? So if you are talking to somebody who's pregnant right now, how do you let them know, know when to go to the doctor versus when to chalk that off, as you know, just. The normal, um, you know, first trimester kind of wooziness like if I'm hearing, if you're throwing up multiple times to up to 20 times a day, you cannot eat, drink, keep anything down.

You're dehydrated. Like it's it's anything down. So that was my thing. So I was getting IVs constantly. They're like, Hey Aaron, Hey Aaron. Sometimes twice in one day it was like insane. The pump was mentioned to me. I don't know why, you know, I never did that. So I just kept visiting Sara Mannix, who was like a wonderful nurse practitioner that I loved.

And she loved me and this baby was thriving and growing and she was like, you're going to be okay. Like, you know, I've seen so many patients. She was just the coolest NP. Like she, she was just. Uh, bad-ass like she just was everything in anything I would just hope anybody could have in their experiences of dealing with an NP or a nurse from there practice.

So, um, and my doctor, dr. Band was just like this artsy cool woman who believed in like natural birth and, you know, she didn't shave her armpits like me. And I say more like she was just. Cool. Just, you know, funky and just, um, they were like, you're going to be fine. So, you know, I started taking the Zofran probably two, three times a day if I had to, and I just kept taking it and still vomiting, still vomiting.

Still vomiting, but eventually not vomiting as much, but I did vomit up until, you know, I don't know, 33, 34 weeks, something like that. Oh my gosh. Okay. So, and I had gained weight. I was able to start keeping things down. Sometimes I would try to keep more than I could. And that's when I would also vomit some things I just couldn't handle.

You know what I mean? So I lived on a lot of, um, Bacon, believe it or not chocolate milkshakes and potatoes. And, you know, I tried to be healthy when I could, but that wasn't happening with Juliana. So, and you are getting plenty of fluids now, did your insurance pay for these IVs? Yeah. Yeah, really good insurance.

Um, you know, where I was at and they did, I mean, not every time I had to go in for my copay though, you know what I mean? Every time you're visiting the doctor. So, um, you know, and I remember one night, you know, we lived in Framingham, which was a little outside of Boston and I was. Desperate and Jeremy was out of town and I was so weak and so scared.

And so I called my sister and she came over, um, you know, at two in the morning and helped me go to, um, the emergency room in Framingham. And I remember the nurse coming in and me being like, I'm really bad. I need an IB right away. And they made me wait four and a half hours and we're taking care of other.

People in the emergency room. And I just felt like this is like not cool to the point that I got very upset and was like, I want an IB now. I don't know if my baby, like I'm, you know, I was freaking out. So it was just a lot of. That going on. And I was trying to be as normal as possible because you don't want the baby to feel anything.

Right. So like, I'd be like vomiting and thinking these crazy thoughts and then playing like Bob Marley on my stomach with like the baby band that you could put your iPad. I bought it. So, you know, I was trying to be as calm as possible, but as I gained weight and as the baby was. Getting better, even though I was still vomiting, I felt a lot more comfortable because I had known kind of what to expect around 20 weeks on.

I was feeling like I'll be okay. You know what I mean? And the baby's going to do great, comfortable, or confident enough to have sex while you were pregnant. So well, that's what I was mentioning to you, the vomiting, right? We wanted to be all over it all the way. So, um, I was really scared. Really scared because of, you know, the bleeding and everything from the first pregnancy.

But, um, I had to let some of that go and just realize that it's all good. And so around 20 weeks, I was like feeling back to my normal self and, you know, sometimes I would be nauseous and be like, Oh my God, hold up. We got to stop. Yeah.

And he still didn't, he didn't even care. He'd be like, fine. I don't know if that's a guy thing or, you know, it's so like amazing how much they like, just don't care. I remember even at the end being like, I think like that's the baby's head and Justin was like, so I'm good. He's like, there's like a cervix there, right?

Yeah. Okay. You know, like 40 something pounds and I'm only five, two. So I smile too. I try to be, I mean, I've gotten, you know, I've run the marathon this past year, but you know that, so that kind of was a whole nother turning 40 thing. But yeah, so I I'm, I'm fine too. And I gained 40 something pounds. And so I was feeling like, yeah, and she was constantly moving Heidi constantly moving.

So I just felt like this kid is going to have. Add like her dad, like, so Jeremy has add, like, he he's like very common cerebral. Some things help them be that way, but like he also likes to do and find his tasks. You know, he'll focus on one thing. He's an artist. I mean, he's legit and artist, like if you think about it.

So he goes from one project to the next where I'm like, let's get it finished. Let's do it. Let's hit this, you know, let's hit it and get it done. You are also. And we're, we're a collegiate soccer player, a runner very much an athlete. So like, it doesn't surprise me that you have a movers and shakers inside.

So like, so there I am large. Yes. The sex. Really good. Jeremy and I were, were doing great, you know, and you know, Juliana, we're just preparing for her in life is beautiful. And you know, I'm still vomiting, but it's become part of my life. So it's like all good. You know, my mom's like, Aaron, if you didn't have a challenge, I got to know what it wouldn't be.

You like, it's just always these weird little challenges that I'm thinking. Like, aren't, I lucky that I am having this beautiful baby and was able to get pregnant again. After it, you know what happened because there's so many of my friends at the time we're trying, we're doing IVF and IUI and weren't getting pregnant.

And, you know, I just felt really grateful. Do you know what? Yeah. So I do know what you mean. I mean like really like some of my best friends and it's just was, was just such a journey for them. So, you know, so I was Juliana wasn't coming. So I was doing everything that people said have more sex, have tea, do squats, take a walk.

Right? Like I'm like incubating. And so I wasn't rushing her though. Like I noticed like, A lot of my family members have had C-sections scheduled cause they didn't deliver on their date. And like the doctors, I just think that's, I mean, forgive me for saying this, but I think a lot of doctors, that's just the moneymaker and they push the C-section on people.

You know, I just feel like it's crazy. Like my doctors were like, she's doing great. She's taking everything she can from you. Everything looks good. Let her stay in there and incubate her brain's growing. So I was all about it. Yeah, she was just cooking in there. You know what I mean? And I feel like people don't talk enough about like this guest date, right?

Like when like some people obviously early day six, some people obviously lately day 21. Okay. Well, there's a two different two day, two week difference in your guest's date. And when you're, but when we look at the data. The average gestation for a first time, mom and I would still call you a first time.

First time mom, you know, for this is a 41 weeks and one day, right? Yeah. Yeah. Take your Guesty. And I'm like add eight days to it. And if you deliver before that date, I'm like high five to you. And this is again, if you're at the time, if you're under the age of 40 years old, you and your baby are healthy, you know, Different things could change that.

But if everybody's healthy 41 weeks, one day, I believe in the way that I coach my clients should be the expectation. You know, let's not cry before we get, you know, to that date. So, so you were kind of like right in that range, but I love that your attitude was so, so chill. So you were doing. You were doing some things though.

You said like some natural induction. Everybody was bugging me and my mom came up because my mom, I mean, you have to, you have to understand my due date was my due date as a baby was March. I was, so I was born at 34 weeks. I don't know if you ever knew that I was a pretty, that's why I think I'm so like, I dunno, firefighter.

Yeah, such a fighter. So I, but I was breathing on my own and I was how pounds, I mean, I lost a little bit when I was born. So my mom was a nurse at the time she worked a night shift. She was a nurse. She worked like this. I dunno, three to 11 shift. And she came home and went into labor with me. So I was a preemie and they didn't even keep me at the hospital because I was thriving so much that my mom went home with me at 34 weeks.

They had no idea, but my sister's babies were also both, I believe, two weeks early each of them. So there was like this real expectation, I guess, that I was going to deliver early. So my mom came up, so I was doing things, but I was like, My NP and my doctor were like, this is great that she's just staying in there and she's big and she's healthy.

And yeah, no. So Jeremy too, it was funny because, um, he never has off, it seems on certain days, but so when Juliana decided to enter the world, Right. So he, we were, we were laughing hysterically because we were inching closer to May 5th. And we're like, he's like, Oh my God, Erin, if we have a Cinco de Mayo baby, all I think about is when she's 21 Downing Coronas and calling us, or we're calling her her.

Sorry, please. So, um, I actually went into labor with her. So I started getting really bad contractions around two in the morning, which would have been May 4th. Okay. And how did you know that it was different than like cramping or like Braxton Hicks. So like it's 2:00 AM. You're sleeping. I'm assuming. And then like what happens?

Wake up? I woke up around 1230 or one. My mom was there. And Jeremy is there actually, so this would have been May 3rd, forgive me. So it would have been May 3rd, um, around 1:00 AM. Just like nothing. She was a mover. She was large. She was also, I don't remember the term, but her head was down or. No, her son would say that she was something that they were trying to turn her right before I was going to give her asynclitic is a word where like the head is kind of turned or cocked, or it could be called like Oop, where they're like kind of Sunnyside up our face up instead of wasn't she wasn't the right way.

Okay. So she was, she was facing up. So sometimes you just there's. This is a good teachable moment because there's two really good websites. The first is miles circuit.com. And then the second is spinning babies.com. And these are just some, a really easy techniques that anyone that's listening, if they've been told this, that their baby is kind of asynclitic or sunny side up, or just kind of not in an ideal, um, birthing position, there's a few things that you can do to help.

Your baby to turn, um, just a few positional things while you sleep a few things to do while you walk. So if everyone checks out miles circuit or spending babies and I'll link to them in the show notes. Okay. So anyway, they tell you, you know, she's, she's facing the wrong direction. Yeah, so right. Like up until, right.

So they're going to do that turning thing, like my NPS. Are they going to do it all natural, but try and turn the baby. Okay. Let me ask you this. Does or did you mean breach? Oh, okay. She was totally different. Alright. Well let's just, just for the fun of it. We'll keep all of that in, because that was a good teachable moment.

But you're talking about breach, which means her head is up instead of like, her head is up in your ribs rather than like down in your vagina, putting pressure on your cervix. Okay. So pain. Right? So I'm going in literally. Let's really like May 1st or second to, for them to try and lay me on a table and turn her okay.

Okay. This is called an external version. I love this. Okay, so you're over your due date. Listen, everybody. Erin is over her due date with a breech baby. And depending on where you're at in the country, where I currently am setting, you would have been scheduled and probably already delivered your maybe via C section, but your practice.

Where you're at is like, Hey, no big deal. Your baby's still, and let's do an external version. We're going to help your baby turn. Yeah, I love them. They're amazing. So let me tell you, the hospital that I was delivering at has one of the lowest C-section rates in the country, Mount Auburn hospital in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

This makes a lot of sense to me hearing your story. So, yeah, and I picked that hospital, which many people go to Newton-Wellesley, which has one of the highest C-section rates and Newton-Wellesley wins all of these awards. So go figure. So I'm, but I'm not here to judge. So, um, cause if you need a C-section, that's your, that's your thing, you know?

So I go in May 2nd to have this procedure and they're checking the baby one more time. They're like, Oh my gosh, she turned halfway or she's turning. All on her own. Yes. And I'm like, of course she is. She's doing things on her turn. I'm thinking, this is my child, man. Like, this is my baby. So they're like, you're good.

She's got, she's going to be good. She's going to be fine. So they don't have to do any of what we just talked about. So I go home or whatever. And a day later, I think this is around probably May 3rd. Now at one in the morning I go I'm I wake up in pain. I know it's contractions cause the pain that woke me up, you know what I mean?

Like Braxton comes would wake you up and it just was so intense. I thought like my stomach was ripping apart. Yeah. I am so glad that you say that even though, you know, that could sound a little scary to some people, but so many people are like, how am I going to know that I'm in labor? And I'm thinking if you have to ask yourself, I wonder if this is labor, then it's this.

It's not labor. Like I knew it. I was like, what woke up? My mom's. I actually took a shower. The shower quickly woke up Jeremy. Right. And we're like, it's, it's go time. Okay. Really quick. I have an inter like it just a question. Did you know what a doula was when you were pregnant or? Because I don't think you had one, but did you know what one was.

Yeah, we, I didn't know what a doula was for sure. But you had your mom who was a nurse? Yes. And you had, who was like my doula, man. She's just like a rock and woman. Um, I'm curious, as I know, you're about to get to your story, but before you get into it, I'm curious, like, what was your plan? Like, did you want to have an actual childbirth or were you planning on like, Oh, get me to the hospital and get me my epidural.

No, I didn't, I didn't know if I wanted the epidural. I mean, it was like an option if I was in a lot of pain. Um, but I, I could have done, you know, not have one. I would have done that, but my story is going to kind of tell you why couldn't just for me. But I felt like, you know, I felt like I had done so much more even than so many friends or family members, shall I say cousins who are also kind of having babies at the same time.

Like I C section I really wanted to avoid that at all costs possible. If I could bring, like you had already had major surgery, I wanted to originally, you know what I mean? But I do know what a doula is and I'm all for it. And I know, you know, uh, Corey, which you should, you know, get one of her birth stories cause it's wild.

Cause Corey delivered her baby up here at new Mosley and she had a whole plan and her plan went wrong. This is a friend Heidi and I share, but this is just for you. Hides chart, birth stories. Is amazing too. I'm so excited. She has two babies right now. She's in Florida, but I mean her birth story of like having a plan and being told she could have followed this plan for no reason.

And her mom's lactation consultant still. I mean, you know, Deb, she's still the same. Hippy dab. And so, you know, they have this whole plan and it didn't go that way. And she vowed to herself. They told her that she most likely wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth because she ended up going through a Csection, but she did for her second child.

And, you know, having her whole plan of being on natural and not being able to do that, basically because the doctor she felt was forced to have a Csection might just make for good stories. I mean, my plan was just to, you know, if I need the epidural to have the epidural, if I didn't need it, not to need it, but definitely to be at a hospital and delivering vaginally.

And again, I knew the type of hospital I was going to, so I felt really good about their nurses and the doctors. And I loved my doctor, but obviously I knew the chance of me having her. On call when you know, it's not just my doctor, it could be a number of doctors, not my OB GYN, who I was seeing the whole time.

Okay. So, um, yeah, I knew right away that pain was intense. So, you know, um, Jeremy took the longest way possible to the hospital, right? Like on like every, like we're hearing and I'm like punching the ceiling and I've got a high tolerance for pain. I mean, Heidi, I remember. And are you timing contractions at this point?

Oh, yeah. So my contractions are my mom's getting him down too. Every two minutes. Does that sound okay if you're punching the ceiling? It's about every two minutes. Sounds right. Healing in Jeremy sitting every light and he takes like the longest road possible. Like we're on a scenic love, love romantic drive.

I got my mom in the back seat and I'm like, my dad's on his way from New Jersey. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Take your flashers on and go, Aaron, even in this pain, you could still be telling me,

yeah, it's like a mad cap. It's like two in the morning. So he gets in the hospital and the contractions were there, but I wasn't dilated at all. Like, nah, my water didn't break. Nothing was happening. Had you ever had the leap procedure? No. No. Okay. Um, so sometimes like there's can be scar tissue on your cervix.

Um, no, it could have happened. Um, also from the previous uterine surgery that you had had? No, I don't know, but so they were like, we need to we're we're we need to, you know, the contractions were so severe. They're like, we need to give you more feet. And I was like, no, I'm not taking morphine. And there's like, there's two things that can happen with morphine.

And I'm, I dunno if this is a teachable moment or what you know about this, but it can either help you speed up your labor or it can actually slow it down and totally stop it. So guess what happened to me? Totally stopped it. I have the friggin morphine because I was in so much pain and it totally stopped it.

So they send me home. Around like, I don't know, five in the morning, four 35 in the morning. And you're like, come back if your contractions come back. Okay. So this is a very normal, this is very normal cause yeah, because the hospitals are busy and there's only so many rooms. And so active LIBOR is when that cervix is really like, you know, six plus, you know, when it's really open and six, they kind of say six pluses, active LIBOR, and anything before that, it's kind of like, What they call latent labor, early labor.

And so, um, but when they're two minutes apart, contractions, and they're really intense, like anyone listening, like you should go to the hospital when your contractions are two minutes apart, because you could be eight centimeters dilated, you know, in the middle of transition. So it's interesting. I'm wondering now, like my head's spinning, but I'm wondering like why your cervix was.

Still completely closed. Yeah. My sisters, you know, my sister did like, was signing her mortgage papers for her first house and her water broke. She literally said to the mortgage guy, hope this doesn't make my water break from stress. And then you're seeing that you're buying your first house. And literally she went into the bathroom and a water boat who can make that story up.

You know, I didn't have my water bag. So they sent me home and 12 hours later, the pain is the same, like unbearable. Like I can't even shower. I am like, now I'm going into labor. So I'm, you know, this was May 3rd now it's May 4th. I'm I'm 12 hours later. Back at the hospital and they're like, yes, you're going into labor.

They get me a bed in a room. The contractions are killing me. My cervix is not opening. Okay. So Pitocin, is that what they give you? So I'm trying. So I'm there for like two hours, three hours, four hours. My doctors coming in is like, you know, we really need to do the toast and I didn't want the Towson. I didn't want any of this.

Do you know, I was just so trying to be like, just do it. So at this point, Theresa, the nurse who I had doesn't know me, but she has known my sister delivered her baby Rory. Um, so Juliana was the second in line of the kids to come. So, you know, I'm just in labor, Heidi, like labor, labor, labor. Now we're into May 5th and it's Kentucky different day and Cinco de Mayo.

So like if I added it all up, I feel like I was in labor truly for 48 hours. And that's pretty normal. Yeah, I'd say it's pretty normal for a first time. So 48 hours. So eventually I, um, I don't know, I do the Towson and it helps a little bit. Um, but they did end up breaking my water. I was in so much pain at this point.

So I did use an epidural and, you know, I just can remember. I was, you know, the epidural makes you feel crazy. I remember all the nurses. It's coming in with Kentucky Derby hats, and we were just waiting, waiting, waiting. And then Juliana was born May 5th at 9:42 PM. And she weighed 8.65 pounds. How long did you push form?

21 inches long? Um, so I pushed for probably a good. Three hours, three, three and a half hours. That's I just want, I like to share that because when you have an epidural it's normal to push for one to four hours, you know, you kind of just wait until you have that overwhelming, like pressure and your rectum, but it can still take a really like on your first birth.

It can just take a really long time to push so well, it's just like such a like happy ending. I just. I, I didn't even really know, like all the places we were going to go to and it was, Oh, okay. Just like, I feel like first of all, we're like catching up. I'm like loving that you're sharing with my audience.

So many things that they can learn from. And that the end of this was the birth of two, two beautiful babies that are now seven and five, seven and five. And Juliana is. Awesome. And Donovan gave me a run for my money, but we'll, we'll talk about that in other times as well. Oh my gosh. I definitely want to have you back for that story too.

You so much for having me, Heidi was awesome and I'm so glad that you're sharing with, you know, just everyone across the world. I'm not even gonna say women, but as many people as possible should share their story because birth is a beautiful thing, but there's still, you know, some things in the system. I think that are, you know, flawed with women.

Breastfeeding and giving birth and, you know, so I, um, I'll tell you my favorite product. I remember you asking me about what's your favorite baby product? So, you know, it's hard to say, I mean, there's so many good ones, but I loved, loved the Biba BA BA steamer. So, you know, I breastfed. Steamed in this little steamer, chicken and vegetables and frozen in containers.

So I steamed all of my children's food. They never really eat that well, they didn't eat baby food out of a jar and it was just as easy to make a ton of it. So you're one of those moms. I love it. I love those moms. I dreamt about being one of those moms. And I tried it. I like when Apple picking and I picked all of these apples and then I like did it, the whole thing.

And I made applesauce and I do have a video on Instagram of max, just rejecting, you know, my like homemade applesauce and I was crying and never again. So I'm really like, I do love hearing stories of people making their own baby food, because it's something I fantasize about, but I will link in the show notes to your favorite steamer.

And then, um, if you want to like, shoot me over a recipe, if you still have one, we could post a recipe too. Steam. It's so easy. It's like, You could see him chicken. I mean, I just did mangoes. I've made combinations. I mean, it's an awesome, awesome thing. So I was one of those people, but, um, it's, you know, it's all good.

And, um, I want to say your kids are beautiful too. Uh, thank you so much. Okay. Let's have you on for Donovan story and I'm so happy to have caught up with you today. Okay. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you so much. You have an awesome rest of the day. Thanks you too.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.