51 The Birth Lounge CEO: Catching up with HeHe
Heidi & HeHe sit down for an hour and chat all about the role of the doula and why HeHe started The Birth Lounge. What you can learn from this episode: How to seek out the best doula to fit your needs.
TRANSCRIPTION
Does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what did the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage.
So here we are, listen each week to get answers to these tough questions, birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings. And of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts and labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you just love a good birth story.
I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start the beginning. I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you. All the things along the way.
So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights. Some of the earlier podcast episodes, if you are just now tuning en so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do and also my very own birth story with myself. Second child Jagger, then I've interviewed some really cool CEOs.
So episode three, Tori Jones is the CEO of ETL triangle, and she was also featured on Rachel Hollis's. The rise podcast. Episode seven was Rachel Coley, the CEO of Kandoo kiddo. She was just on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist that teaches you how to play with your baby and her baby.
First stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends. Amy who had a VBAC in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies episode, 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda. 24 and 25. Oh, those episodes like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing, fertility, really easy, joyful medicated birds, really hard, long labors, Kayden, unmedicated, everything in between.
So I hope you'll start at the beginning. Let the birth story podcast take you on a journey all the way through. Yeah. And enjoy this episode and then remembered a rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in. Well, I had been following you first welcome here to the birth story podcast.
Thank you so much following you for awhile on Instagram. And like I was loving all your posts. I was loving all your posts and then you had this one post that just really got me. And it was like, you like this, like. You know, in labor, like just kind of like making the face of just, you know, what it was like.
And it just was, so I don't know, it's so personal and so engaging. And so I'm really glad that we're connecting today. And I want to put an episode out that just kind of shares, you know, what your story is, what it is that you do, how you support moms. And if there's one particular. Path that you're super passionate about that you want to speak about then like let's, you know, dive in there.
But essentially like my platform is your platform. And so I just want to like, share the great news about your company, the birth lounge and what you do kick us off. Like who is he? He way I thought your name was, Hey, Hey, because of the movie. So many people say that to me. And you know what I recently began to answer to, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, he, he ha ha I'm all the above.
I consider myself a very funny person. So hahaha is also applicable. Um, so yeah, I'm he, I'm the founder of tranquility by he, he maternity concierge, the creator of the birth lounge, the host of the birth launch podcast. And I passion is life is, um, really just helping. Birthing people have their babies trauma free.
And for a lot of firsthand parents, trauma never really crosses their mind. Um, so my goal is to educate people before they have their first baby, so that you don't ever have to have trauma. And then you realize, Oh, that's what she was talking about. I want to prevent all of that for you. I want you to be able to navigate pregnancy confidently.
I want you to be able to have conversations with your provider confidently. Sexually, I want you to have a good relationship with your provider. So sometimes doulas, inadvertently sometimes probably purposeful, but I think a lot of times it's inadvertent, but it can feel like doulas are driving a wedge between their provider and the client.
Sometimes it is. Somewhat fear based. Sometimes it can be in the approach of like, well, just be careful about your doctor might try and manipulate you. And that's the opposite of my goal. So our household is very medical. Um, my partner's in medicine, and so I've been able to see medicine from the inside out.
And so we actually try and bridge that gap between clients and providers. And so I think that's a, it's a really big difference. I think. All doulas, really try to bridge that gap. Sometimes the approach ends up driving a wedge between clients and provide, and that is harmful to us. Everybody involved it's harmful to the hospital system.
It's harmful to the doulas. It's harmful to the client. It's harmful to. Everyone's view, right. It changes the way that the hospital and the doctors are viewed it's it changes the way that jewelers are viewed. It changes the way that the client thinks about that experience. And so my goal is to prevent trauma for everybody involved, but particularly the birth in person.
Yeah. And he, he we're totally aligned there, which is one of the reasons why I really reached out to you. Like I'm a hospital based doula, which is, you know, pretty unique for my area. And it's because almost everyone in my family is a doctor. I was a pharmaceutical rep. I was a medical device rep. I still work in the operating room for epilepsy neurosurgery.
And so when I became a doula 15 years ago, that was one of the things that I was really passionate about too, is kind of like, okay, there is this misconception out there of like what a doula is and what a doula does and how they interact with the medical stuff. Staff and then the medical community. And so like my practice specifically seems really aligned with what you're doing up in Boston.
But you've expanded this to be able to, to reach people throughout the entire world. And so for anyone who's listening right now, like, I really think it's really important to like push pause, like on this podcast pause. And there's two things we want you to do. Right. And in order for you to keep listening and one is to go to Instagram.
And to follow you. And then the other one is to go to the birth lounge.com and kind of check out that well, there's three things, check that out and then also subscribe to the podcast. So if you're listening to this podcast, you're a podcast listener. So listen to the berth lounge podcast. And then, so tell us what's your Instagram handle.
Yeah. Thank you so much. I'm it's just at tranquility by he, he and that's H E H E. Okay. So how did this all start for you? So you said four years ago. So I have to know everything. Like where did you go to school? How did this get planted in your heart? Like how did you arrive where you're at today? Totally.
I love these questions and I know our listeners, kids see me. Maybe you can hear in my voice on his filings, so
both of us could publish it too. So YouTube channel or something, or just on Instagram, IgE, I was like, I'll just record it and then we'll have it, you know? So yeah. People might be able to see you. Absolutely. Well, I had the biggest grin on my face right now because I. It's really funny. When I look back over my life, all of the doors that seemingly were like closed in my face.
They weren't, they were more like corners in amaze that had to be there to direct me to my path of where I was supposed to be. And so. My story starts kind of a long time ago. I started out with children on the autism spectrum, and I thought that I would be an autistic specialist. I thought that I would be, I'm a specialist that worked with children and worked with their parents and help them understand the behaviors of not only their children, but how to communicate with their children, how to support their child at home.
Um, Sat on so many IEP boards of helping parents navigate the school system, helping school systems understand how to best support these kids in classrooms. I did in home behavioral therapy, I did in classroom behavioral therapy, and I loved it. Then I went to grad school at the university of Alabama and I was a grad school at, um, children's program at the university of Alabama.
It's an early childhood program. It's actually world-renowned with people from all over the world that come and study there. And I thought that's how the whole world was. So I thought that's what early ed looked like outside of the walls of the university of Alabama. And. Oh boy was I like totally sorely mistaken.
It was just really bad. It was it's it. They don't all look like that. And so I unfortunately just couldn't flourish in an environment of what our early ed looks like in America right now. Hurt my heart. There was a lot of rules and regulations that were really, really restrictive. And, um, I guess wasn't where my heart was.
So when I graduated from the university of Alabama, I had been in the infant classroom, my entire assistant ship, not running the classroom cause I was just a grad assistantship. But throughout the days of each week, I had pieces of each day that I did run the classrooms. As those teachers could step out and do admin work.
And I fell in love with infants. Obviously, I already always like loved babies. Right. I feel like. Most women are like that, but I really fell in love with babies. And one of the most fascinating thing was I would go to class, I would learn about infant development and then I would come back to the classroom with babies and I would be like, Oh my God, that's what I just learned about, like, they're doing that thing that I just had a test on her, like, Oh my gosh, I just learned about that and they're doing it.
And so I got to see. So current recently on Netflix, there's been an episode of, or there's been a series called babies. Okay. That was my grad experience. Right. That was the whole thing. I was able to watch all that stuff play out in real life. After I had learned about it. And I was like, wow, these babies are.
They're not dumb and they don't just kind of exist amongst us. They are very smart. They're very intelligent. They are intellectual sponges. They pick up on things. They can pick up on energy. They are receptive, right. They can manipulate their situation. They can also be manipulated like these babies are actually tiny humans.
And so that is where my love for infants. Came from so fast forward to, into grad school, I moved up Boston and I thought that I would work again in autism. I missed autism when I was doing the infant stuff. I missed autism when I was in grad school. And I thought I would go back to the autism route. And you know, one of those doors slammed in my face, was moving to Boston and I could not get my foot in the door and anything autism related, not one single theme, everybody.
Already had enough people, every volunteer organization didn't need any more volunteers. This organization wanted you to have an MD or needed you to have, and better letters behind your name than just masters in human development and family studies. And I was baffled. I was like, I'm trying to volunteer my time.
I have incredible knowledge. I have degrees in relevant fields. I have experience and nobody wants to help. What am I going to do? Everyone listening to this podcast? That's anywhere else in the country besides Boston is like, we won't take you. I mean, right. Like here in Charlotte, I mean, We have a lack of there, of, of support.
So, I mean, that's just, but like you said, you're in this maze and you're, you know, these doors are just really kind of these roadblocks. Totally. So I got into early intervention. And I didn't really like early intervention. It was very, very, very, um, the work. So I, I was in really low income neighborhoods and very sad cases broke my heart on a daily basis.
I'm super sensitive per and. I can't work at work. I just can't. It's not how I work. That's not how my brain works. I don't compartmentalize. And so it ran me into kind of a shell of a person because I just continued to get my heartbroken. And I continued to, um, watch these really devastating situations happen to families and children.
I didn't feel like I had any help. The government wasn't helping the state, wasn't helping the programs. And I'm quoting like programs that were supposed to be set up to help. These families were continuously failing and it could not take that emotionally. It was going to cause a person like it was eating me away to me at all, because almost all birth workers that are good birth workers right.
Are impacts. And no matter what they're talking about, it's like, we feel, you know, we're going to get into it in a little bit, but like, I cannot even tell you very many birds and a month because it takes me days to recover from a birth because I feel everything that mom has. Feeling, especially in those postpartum visits too.
I mean, it's very difficult to, so I'm hearing all that. So when you say early intervention, are you talking about like kids with cerebral palsy or brain injuries or like what kind of like, what would be the route for early intervention? Totally. So, um, Every child in America has early intervention, a lot into them where the government pays for it.
Any child who qualify. I see you have to have a qualifying something, which is usually a deficit in one of the performance areas or a birth defect like cerebral palsy or, um, some sort of delay in any sort of. Um, like growth area, if you will. And so I was in homes doing OT, PT, speech, Val mint, um, you know, there's, you just go into homes and you help these parents understand what's going on.
You help these parents understand how to Beth. Their child, you give a little bit yeah. Therapy yourself to help mom to, you know, kind of see more works. Um, you're really facilitating a lot of growth and development within that child, but also within that home sphere in general. Okay. That makes so much sense.
I interviewed earlier on the podcast, the CEO of a company can do kiddo, Rachel. Yeah. That was in that world. And then to do her own company. So you guys are very similar in your bag, but then you took it in different. You know, took it in different directions. Okay. Then what happened next? So I obviously had to leave that job before I just like fell into the deepest depression.
I was probably never going to be able to get out of, and I was like, well, what am I going to do? I guess I'll go back to the classroom. I was really good at it. I have a ton of knowledge about infants. I a. Enjoy it. It's like not my live call, but it's good. Maybe if I get at a place that really inspires me, maybe that's the thing.
Well, I did. And I worked at okay. Places, nothing sparked to me, it just didn't do it for me. I loved my children and I loved my families. And like I say, the places I worked at were good, they were fine, but I needed something to light me up. And I was an infant teacher and one of the other teachers at the center said, You should be a doula.
And I said, Oh, what, what are you talking about? And she said, yeah, doula is somebody who helps people's hat. And they're like a birth coach. Right. They help people have babies. And I was like, um, yeah, that is so nice of you. I'm very flattered. I appreciate the comment, but. Probably going to have to pass on that.
And she simply said, I think you should look into it. You would be really good at it. And I was like, okay, thank you very much. And that comment stuck with me. I was like, well, why does she think I would be so good at it? And you have to think that. You didn't know this person super well at this point, she eventually became my friend, but at this point she was simply saying it out of energy.
And I was like, this is so strange. I wonder why she thinks I'd be so good at it. I ended up looking into how to become a doula. It's very simple. Um, it's a weekend course. It is, you know, it wasn't a lot of time. It was $500 of investment. And then I was kind of like, well, I'll say my money, I'll get the $500 and I will either walk away with a new life.
Passion or I'll walk away being the most educated birthing person ever, and just know how to like, yep. Well, that's true. It a little differently than I thought it was going to be, to be completely honest. I, um, I got into training and it was good, but it was shallow and I was trained by arguably the number one trainer.
In Massachusetts, maybe in all of new England, like she is, she's known appear. And I chose that specifically and I still found the information to be very shallow. I found that. We didn't talk about birth trauma. We didn't talk about how to navigate birth trauma. If that happens to you, we didn't talk about mental health of pregnancy or postpartum.
We didn't talk about the relationship of the partner. We didn't talk about how to prepare birthing people for X, Y, and Z. We didn't talk about the family unit as a whole. We didn't talk about. So much. And I thought, gosh, this is a little bit shocking to me. That folks can be trained for a weekend and then be set free to go into arguably the most vulnerable space in a, in a woman's life.
And. Just like freely be allowed to be there. That seems weird to me. And so that night I came home and I made a website and within the first four weeks I had our first client and it has just taken off since then. And I started out doing so a traditional doula does just like one or two meetings before I started out with three and I quickly found that that wasn't enough.
And then I moved to four and I found out that that wasn't enough. And then I moved to. And I found out that that was doable. And so now we have to meet with our folks six times before your birth, or we don't take you on as a client. Cause I just, I am not a half ass type of person. I'm either going to support you 100% or I'm going to support you 0%.
And so I want you to be fully, fully prepared going into your birth, or I'm not the right fit for you. I can't halfway support you. I would never be able to live with myself if something. And during your birth, and I knew I could have prevented it. That's why I do so many prenatals beforehand. Yeah. Okay. I love this.
This is just hitting home with me at on so many different things. One of the things that you didn't mention too, which I seem to have an affinity for is I have a lot of clients that have sexual abuse trauma too, that go into their birthing space, you know, just terrified of a cervical exam. So yeah. Yes. I absolutely believe that some of these trainings could go deeper and deeper.
Some of us have been around the block a lot of totally 15 years later, I will say I ended up having to do all of those things as continuing education pieces on my own over and over and over again. One of the things that I think is important, if you're listening and you're seeking a doula, Is asking questions on how much training do you have and in what areas?
Because a doula certification in itself, as you're hearing from me and he, he isn't really enough experience. Is very important and all the education that you can get your hands on, every single training. Like I joke when I'm talking to my clients, I'm like, Oh, I'm training this, this, you know, I've taken this class, this class, this class, what birth class are you taking?
I'm taking it 10 times. You know, that it's so important to have this. Very very wide foundation, you know, and I'm such an entrepreneur. And so I'm talking to you, he, he, and I'm like, I know what you're doing with the birth lounge, but I see this like big thing about to happen for you, where you have a new certification for doulas.
Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you. Thanks for listening to the birth story podcast. I am so excited to announce the launch of my book. Birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy. A collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice and journaling prompts.
You can order a copy today@birthstory.com. It also will mean the world. To me, it feels spread the word about this podcast. So on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. So one of the things you keep using the word weed. And so you, is this an agency that you own now that has lots of doulas that you're training with you?
Or like how kind of what's the format that you're working in? Yeah, it's, you know, it's funny. I had these words that are like cringy to me that are fused to use. Um, an agency is one of those. I don't like to consider ourselves an agency work concierge service, but there is a team of us. We're a team of nine.
Three of those people were online doing all of our tech stuff, running the Berks lounge, running our website, running our blog. They put out the content that I create and they keep our online presence up and running for folks that aren't necessarily here in Boston. And right. We have a lot of people who you mentioned tuning in from all over the world.
And those people deserve the same support as the people here in boss. And it's that, that's what our online folks do. And then there's a, we're a team of six doulas so far and we've grown. I mean, I feel like I'm always adding doulas to our team. When we first started out in 2018, it was just me and one other person.
And then every, like three to six months, I find myself being like, gosh, I feel like I need another. And, and so we've grown to a team of nine. Yeah. So you're in, you're in good company, but you have an entire team, which I think is important. Education piece is I too have taken four childbirth ed classes and I pull from my master's degree, probably 90% of the time.
My master's, I mean, you have to think I had anatomy in that I had human development, like physically, mentally, emotionally psychology based type components. I had that human development piece. I had. Family counseling. So there was a, some social work pieces in there. There's, there's so much there's, that's where I pull from the most.
But. I think having a team and they important because if I don't know the answer or I haven't been trained in something, for example, I'm not trained in acupressure. I have a doula who is, I'm the bactrain. I have one other dual that's feedback trained. Right? So like we all kind of hold different things. I think since I'm at the top, I probably hold the most.
Um, but it's unreasonable to think that every single person that comes to our doors can birth with me. So I think it's really important to think about the education. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I just love hearing you in like your, so the passion in your voice is just like, You know, screaming out. It's pretty amazing.
Okay. So imagine let's just like go down a little story. I live in Boston, Massachusetts, and I'm pregnant and I call you, I mean, this is revolutionary to have six prenatal visits. I'll be on the totally, never, ever heard of this. And I'm thinking, God, logistically, I don't even know how I would ever pull something like that off.
But I mean, But the validity to it is just totally evil, especially for the right clients. I'm, I'm specifically thinking about, you said address, you're trying to help clients like before they get, you know, birth, but I'm assuming flooded with people who are on baby. Number two, who are trying to process what happened during their first birth.
And they refuse to allow that to happen to them. Again, now, do all of your clients get access to the birth lounge? And so I want you to kind of dive into that a little bit, because most of our listeners are not residing in Boston, Massachusetts. So I want to like kind of you to take me on a path of like, If I was in Boston, Massachusetts, what it would look like to work with because that should be the bar.
So if anyone listening is looking to hire a doula, like let's put you in your concierge as the bar, and then walk us through like what they are learning and the benefits they're getting from your birth lounge. I think that's a good point to make is that if you set our concert service as the bar, I fear we're always going to be let down because it is revolutionary.
Right. I left training feeling like there were so many broken links in maternity care, and I had the answers. I had that welding that I could just go back and weld those pieces together. So I have that chewed up gum that I can poke it in the hole of the dam right before the dam floods. And so. I'm not sure that setting the bar at the concierge level is the right approach.
If you don't live in Boston and that's how the birth came about. Right. I kept saying, no, your duals should be doing more. Or gosh, your doula is not doing that for you. And all the people around the U S were like, no. And I was like, man, I gotta get this out into people's hands. And so what I've done is I've taken all the six prenatals.
I put them into videos. Um, and then, yeah, for more trainings, things like, um, I train your partner. And give you pain relief. I teach you specifically how to push with your body using specific belly muscles. I help you isolate spins, civic, belly muscles. Again, going back to my master's, the anatomy, the human development.
How do we actually shout a baby? Because it's not like taking a poop, your anal muscles and your vaginal muscles. They're different. They are different cavities. They are different muscles. They do different things. When a woman. Tries to push out a tampon. It's very different than pushing out poop. And so why on earth do we tell women to push?
Like they're taking a poop when we know probably. Almost all women, at some point in their life had, had, have had something in their vagina, whether it be an egg, you know, a Yoni egg, or a tampon, something that needed to get out, we are able to isolate those muscles. For me, it's a little bit patriarchy is that we're telling women it almost amazed women in a way that says.
We don't think, you know, the difference between your anal and vaginal muscles. So we're just going to tell you to take a poop and I'm always like that doesn't make any sense your baby doesn't come out of your butt. I love it. So part of my prenatal is I have my clients imagining that they're pushing their tampon out, or I say, you know, after you're finished, if you're in a heterosexual relationship and end of sex, And, or during sex, even when you're engaging those muscles to like squeeze around the penis.
And I'm like, but every woman, you know, that's had sex with a man knows that feeling of having like using those muscles to eject the peanut. I'm like, you know, those are those same muscles were isolating. So I love that you're thinking so differently and using your degree and your background to kind of like create these.
Specialized courses to really help moms think in a different way. Totally. Part of it too, in the birth lounge is we take you through over 170 choices that you need to make in labor. So when people think about, Oh, the choices that I have to make in labor, what are people thinking about? They're probably thinking about like, when do I go to the hospital?
Do I want an epidural or not? That's probably it, some people probably think like, do I want to use the birth hover? And I, so that's like three or four questions I have nailed down over 170 questions that you need to know that are going to come up. I've been in over 200 births. I seen all the questions that come up, the ones that are new, I write them down and I add it to our list so that the next birth has support.
You know, that question now. Yeah, right. I want everybody to know what's coming your way, because that's how we prevent birth trauma. If you know what is coming your way. You won't be caught off guard. You won't be feeling like you have to make a decision right now in unprepared. I'm trying to prepare you so that no matter what comes your way, you can a stop and find the control and B find the control that you have.
Where is the control right now? Okay. Who does that control lie with? If it's not me, how do I shift this energy to get that control back in my hands? Because. I'm the birthing person. Yes. Your doctor is in there and yes, they are probably the most educated and qualified person in that room. But at the end of the day, who's on top of that pyramid is you, that birthing person is the boss.
You are the boss of the room. You're the boss of the people. You're the boss of the energy. You're the boss of the decisions. You're the boss of the choices. You're the boss and the options, but you can't be the boss of all that. If you don't know the choices and the options, because if you're. Provider only provides you with a and B, but you've done your research and you know, actually you have options, a, B, C, and D.
You can ask about seeing D I don't believe that a lot of doctors are out to manipulate. I do believe that a lot of doctors have their hands tied. You work in the hospital. There are certain things doctors can't say there are certain things that hospital policies don't allow you to offer. There are certain things that doctors will never be able to tell you.
That's an option. If you don't know that's an option for yourself, but if you ask, yep. They're able to tell you they can't lie to you, but they can't offer it. It's all about asking the right questions at the right times using the right words. That's what I teach people how to do in the birth lounge. Yeah.
Okay. That's awesome. Let's give an example. I'm going to start cause you got me going on this. When I teach a lot, I have moms that go in for induction. And I prepare them. This is going to be up to five days, right? If your cervix is not ready, if you don't have any signs, I don't care that you're 42 weeks.
Gestation is not ready. You're not going into labor. It's going to take up to five days. Right? So one of the things I educate them on that, like the doctors can't readily say, if it's your choice to go home. So guess what you got Pitocin all day, you got Cervidil. Didn't work. You're not in labor. You check out of that hospital.
You can go home, you can take a shower, you can eat something and go to sleep. You can try again in a day or two, but if we aren't educating moms that they have choices that aren't being offered to them, they don't know that they can go home after they've been at an induction for an entire day, that.
Failed. They don't have to go to a C-section. They may want to go to a C-section yet. We may choose for their body that they're ready for this to be overwhelmed. But. What's that other way, like you just said that maybe the hospital's hands are tied in the midway for the doctor is like, you're not ready.
You should go home, but they can't say that. So I love that you have created a platform to really teach the masses about some of these like underlying things. So I have two, can I interject the two of them? My first one and have them, but yeah, I'll take two. My first one is cervical techs. You're offered a cervical check.
Most people have no idea that you can say no thanks. And I don't teach my people to say no things. I teach my people to ask, what are we going to do with this information? If we're going to make a decision on this information, we probably need it if we're doing it because we're just checking. And are we, is it worth it, right?
It's not that that's a bad decision. It is that worth it to possibly introduce germs. And it's not possibly every single person's hands is going to, how are you going to have germs on them? So you are introducing germs. It just matters. Or are you introducing germs that are going to change the trajectory of your birth?
So that's the first thing. Right now, do you want some COVID exactly like joke, but not joke. You know, it's kind of not though. I mean, right now I'm like no way because it's membrane, right? It's just like your eyes and your nose and your mouth, which is exactly what people are saying. Keep your hands away from, except we've not said anything about birthing people, declining cervical exams with the same exact.
Mucosal membrane. It just, it blows my mind. Um, but the second thing that I always say, and I remind people of is during labor, you're working super, super hard. Your body's temperature is probably gonna be slightly elevated. If you spike a fever. You need to be asking questions about why you have a fever?
Is it truly a fever because yes, that absolutely 1000% can be an indicator that you have an infection and, or something's going wrong. But it also could be because you're laboring and you're trying to push out a baby. Right? We got to balance that we cannot just have an elevated temperature and pump people full of antibiotics.
That is how we get crashed immune systems. That is how we have babies born. And their immune systems can't catch up because we inundated them with so many antibiotics before they were even born. And then again, after they were here, That their poor immune systems are compromised and the data shows we've affected their gut microbiome from day one, you know?
Absolutely. I just love every, those are really good examples. Okay. So let's break it down. I want to know how you sign up. Yep. Cost. How long, like, is it like work at your own pace? Are you and your team involved or is it very distant? Tell me all of the different things on how much, why when, and you know, let's get some people enrolled in the birth lounge today.
Totally. So this is. Such good prep during this pandemic, right? I mean, birthing classes are canceled. This is not only birth prep, but it gives you a community of people who are doing this with you. Other parents who are expecting a baby and, or just had a baby in this pandemic, you're all going through the same thing.
It is a really good community. So birth lounge. dot com and you sign up online. It is $49 a month for our tier one $99 a month. For tier two, tier two, much more intensive. You get one on one support with me. I mail you pain relief to your house. You get, um, specially made meditation for each month of pregnancy.
And pardon you also get the behind the scenes. Interviews with birth lounge experts. So I've pulled in experts. This is the one of my favorite parts of the birth lounge. I've pulled in experts to have behind the scene conversations. So before I have them on, I have have a conversation with them and I say, I don't want you to hold anything back.
I don't want you to bring your super professional cap to the table. I want you to just be a regular human and help my people in the birth lounge, know what they need to know behind the scenes, without all of this facade of what we generally see in the birth world. And it has been so fantastic. I mean, I've had.
Midwives on I've had postpartum coaches on I've had pediatricians on and they do, they all take off their professional cap and they put on their human cap. Yeah. They are just with us for an hour and they just talk so openly and raw about conversations that you would never hear anywhere else, because we're either not asking these questions.
These people don't feel comfortable saying it to the masses and, or. Nobody's asking the question, I'll ask the questions. I'll totally go there. Especially if I think that it has a potential to help you prevent birth trauma 1000%. So yeah, it's go at your own pace as well. We recommend that people get in no later than about six, six months.
And for our private clients are our clients that are here in Boston and, or we like traveled to their birth. We won't work with you after about seven months gestation, because like I say, we have to have it enough time to prepare you, and I'm a hundred percent type of gal. And so it's just unfortunate, but we can't, we can't fit in all of the birth support at eight months pregnant or eight and a half months pregnant.
Or my due date was three days ago and now I'm really scared. Unfortunately, we're just not the best fit. We're a concierge service, not a doula service. And they're very, very different. Right. So, yeah, it's a. You gotta think about it beforehand. It's definitely something to plan out. You don't want to be trying to get into the light around when your due date is two days away.
But also if you have reached eight months pregnant and you're like, Oh gosh, I haven't prepared anything. In all reality, you can set aside a weekend, go through the birth lounge. It would be intense. It would be, you know, your whole weekend it'd be a lot of information, but at the end of the day, that's no different than a weekend birthing class.
You would be doing eight hours on a Saturday and Sunday in a birthing class. So why not do it on the birth lounge reap the benefits of the pain relief, reap the benefits of teaching your partner re reap the benefits of the community of having me. Oh, and another thing in the birth lounge, you also get weekly calls with me.
There are Facebook live. You can join, you can watch them later. They never go away. I mean, I teach things all the time that I see in a thread on the birth lounge, Facebook page members, only Facebook page. And I just hop on and do a live. I'll just teach it right there. It's no big deal. Um, it's not like you have to wait.
There's no like scheduled. This is the only time you get to see he, he on, in the lounge all the time. Sometimes I just see things and I'm like, Oh, I should go live and teach this really quick. And I do, um, You have the two tiers, 49 and 99. Is there a minimum month commitment? There is. So it's six months commitment because, um, you know, whether you get in six months before your baby is due, you're going to need this in postpartum.
Um, and so what we're actually seeing is people have bought the six month thing and they come back and say, ah, I shouldn't have done the 12 months. Can I. Send 'em and so we just extend them. So, you know, so many people got in not really thinking that they might not use it as much and they use it way more than what they, um, they anticipated.
And once your baby gets here, like I say, we cover everything from. Breastfeeding umbilical cord care. You know, the first fevers I had the pediatrician on the birth on experts lounge to talk about those first four months, what do I need to know? What do I expect from the pediatrician's appointment? What do we need to know about vaccinations?
What do we need to know about hoop and weight gain and the first sickness and what can I use for a stuffy nose and all the things that people want to know about their newborn? It's on the lounge. We do like patient support. We do sleep training. We do swaddle work. I mean, if there's something that comes across in the first year of your baby's life, we've got, I mean, we even do introducing solids there's.
Yeah, there's everything in there. Another important thing too, is that I'm assuming people can pay you with their HSA or their FSA card because as you're a certified doula. And so that's really important to you because, you know, it's, it's, you've got it priced very reasonably, but if it's still like a question Mark, for people just know that you can always pay for childbirth education or for doula services with your health savings account or your flexible spending account too.
So that's a really good way to get in the door. You know, with you. I love that it's a, you know, a long process. I think it's unnecessary for a minimum of six months, and I love you to set your boundaries right. In our city. We set the boundaries because of supply and demand. Absolutely. We're booked all the way out until November, every doula in Charlotte, probably in a way, because there's simply not enough doulas to support wow.
Doulas to support the demand. And so. You have to be on a stick and hire your doula, basically want to have one. And so I would love, this is just me putting it out there, but I would love to have an opportunity to not just encourage my clients to attend the birth lounge, but it may be awesome too, for those clients they're out the country and the world that have hired a doula to maybe be able to bring their doula in on maybe one of those.
Courses or classes like interacting with your doula, how you, your doula and your partner team together in being welcoming a stranger into your birth environment, you know? Yeah. You hit a good point there too. A lot of people in the birth lounge liked the idea of doula support, but either they or their partner, don't like the idea of having a quote unquote, stranger.
In your birth, like physically with you. And so that's a big draw that we see is that people want this support. They want a birth with the birth lounge approach. But they don't want a human in their birth room within. And so that's, it's really big as well. Yeah. I can totally see that. I make sure. So I, my clients and I speak every single week, they have to be on a stick.
So for men of, you know, eight or nine months, we have, we're talking every single week. Texting texting, texting, because it is really important if you're going to hire a doula to make sure it's not someone that you meet the day of, you know, unless there's a hiccup, right? Like have I had situations where I was at a birth and someone else went into labor that happens.
Right. But making sure that you meet the backup doulas and the whole entire team. Yep. And you work in a team of six. So I had a question for you on that. Um, if now, if someone's in Boston, right. And they are like, we're going to do the bird lounge, but we want that one on one support with he, he and your team.
So they need to hire you like no later than seven months, but I mean, hiring your doula, hiring key and her team, if you're in Boston, you know, when you're. I don't know, eight weeks. Let's say when you feel that stick. Exactly. When you're feeling super nauseous, it's just scrawling and send in an inquiry for those clients that are going to get you and your team where they get full access to the birth lounge and they get your doula services.
What are you charging for that? And besides the six prenatal visits, It's kind of, what are some of the things that you're providing that you believe do all doulas should be providing to like up the level of care that's going on in this country? Totally. Um, so again, we're a concierge services, very, very different, but our prices started about $2,500.
Your average duel in Boston is anywhere from seven 50 to about $1,200. Well, we. Say that again, I've been 50 to 1200. I, because Boston so expensive, I would imagine that it would have been much higher, but you have to think too, that these people are just getting one or two prenatals. They come to their bursts and then they get one or two postpartum visits.
It's really not that much work. I mean, hypothetically, you could be hired. Two days after someone's due date and still get all of that in. You could do a prenatal today and a prenatal tomorrow and your, your prenatals are checked off. Right? Um, so yeah, our price is much more elevated though. We do a lot of things differently.
So our folks go for a massage or facials every single month. On us, you can just send you to do that because you're not going to make the time yourself. And I want you to be relaxed and I want you to feel pampered going into your birth so that you're confident in your body and you trust the process.
And that's one of the ways that we do that. My packages include, um, overnight care. Our packages include lactation support for, with a lactation counselor or a lactation. Our packages include two solid doulas, not just one doula and not a backup doula. You have two partner doulas that are with you at all times.
We have 24 hour care. Around the clock. So you can text us that 2:00 AM. Most likely somebody is going to text you back. Cause one of our team members is probably doing an overnight that night. There's just so many things that we do so differently. I think. Part of it is the deep education. So if I had to choose one thing that doulas would change about our whole industry, it would be stopped meeting with people once or twice before their birth.
They need to know who you are and what are you being able to cover in one or two fin? Two prenatals and hour each just making the birth plan. I don't know when you talk about anything else, if you're just doing one or two prenatals, I don't know. I heard in 70 questions. My intake form is six pages long.
Oh, like we need to have this information. We're about to watch you in one of the most vulnerable spaces in your life. You want us to know who you are? I know these people intimately, for the most part, when we go into your birth, I know you, I know your partner. I know your dog. I probably know your parents.
I probably know your siblings. I know what all those people do for a living. Like I'm now part of your family so that I know you so intimately when we get in the birth room, you don't have to make any decisions. Yeah, you don't have to, I don't have to pull you out of that brain to understand what you want.
Cause we've already talked about it. You already made those decisions. You already communicated with your team. What your preferences are. All I have to do in the birth room is confirmed. Hey, Heidi, you talked about this. You still want that you shake your head. Yes or no. And that's it discussion is over.
You're confirming. Yes. I still want that or no, I do not. And we go from there. Right? And so a large piece of what we do is really try and keep the birthing people in that primal brain, because you will go into a primal brain it's called labor land. Some people call it birth land, um, birth brain. It's a place where a birthing person is going to retreat to.
You sometimes look a little drunk. Sometimes you look like, you know, you have heavy eyelids, you have a heavy body. You're just really turned inward. We want you there. That's how birth is designed to happen. That's how birth is designed to transpire. And every time someone speaks to you or touches you in a way that's not comforting or touches you in a way that's unanswered.
Expected, it pulls you a little bit out of that and a little bit out of that and a little bit out of that until you're completely out of that birth brain. Yeah. And now we've disrupted your labor. That's what our whole goal is. Um, and so we want to be careful two, you had touched on this a little bit of, you know, knowing people so intimately, we want to be careful of activating.
What's called the sphincter law and it's a law in birth. It States anytime a new face or voice or energy is introduced to your birth space, it has the potential to pause your labor. And or to cause you to lose dilation, can you imagine being measured, having a surgical exam, being told you are seven and a half, a new doctor comes on, says something not encouraging to you and you get measured and you're five and a half.
I mean, that's devastating and I've seen it. I've seen it happen, right? It is like a very real thing. And so we really want to prevent that. We want you to feel as safe, insecure, and as prepared. As possible. And the last thing we want is for you to be caught off guard because it hinders your birth a hundred percent.
Yeah. Listening right now and is like, Oh my God, that's terrifying. Did they just say, so this is called , it's a Spanish word. And it means like regressing services. Cervix are going backwards, but it is something like you said, with the sphincter law, like we are mammals and it's mammalian birding. And if we're not private and safe and undisturbed and closed in our body will do things.
Your cervix has responsibility is to keep your baby inside of you and continue to produce the mucus and vaginal fluid coat and surround that amniotic SAC and that baby. If it's not safe for birding. And so you will see the whole body kind of contractions will stop, leave. The cervix will regress. Yes, saber will slow down if it's not a private, safe, undisturbed, you know, things.
So I think that's so important what you just mentioned and kind of like, here's the, why here's the why your birth partner or your doula, or whoever's with you, is going to be fighting to protect, you know, to keep you into that labor line. Especially if you're having an, like an all natural childbirth. I think it's so important.
So, well, he, he, I just. Love you and following you on Instagram and everything that you're doing. I think I'm just very proud out of you for outside of the box, like taking a system and saying it can be better and I'm going to be part of a system of change and, and elevating the service that birding moms get.
In this country and all over the world, too. So those of you birding in Boston, Massachusetts, what's the best way to contact you for doula services or concierge services? Yeah, just email us@tranquilitybyheatgmail.com and our team can get you to say. Set up with our packages and let you see what all of our services are.
And then since we're content or service, we have that flexibility to make our cart packages. And so you get to choose what is the right package for you? Because at the end of the day, this is your birth. You know, I obviously have boundaries of what we have to have in your package, but. You get to pick and choose what you want, because I want you to prepare how you, you want to prepare.
Um, the six prenatals are required because I, you gotta be prepared, but you know, facials. Okay. We can take that off. We can swap it out for overnight care. You don't want overnight care and you'd rather have two massages a month go for it. Let's make that tweak really quick. So we have that flex stability, you know, you mentioned going above and beyond.
I don't feel like I'm going above and beyond, because I feel like this is the basic care that women deserve when they have a baby. And I have I've modeled tranquility by he and the birth lounge off of countries that have amazing, incredible. Care maternity care like Sweden and Austria and Germany, they all have fantastic, fantastic maternity care, especially postpartum.
And I am just so baffled how we're entering 2020 in a first world. Very resourceful. Country that we just can't provide that for our parents here. I mean, therapy, the partners out of the hospital right now. So that alone let's cry about that. It is so devastating. It is. It is. Well, before we close, I just want to encourage everyone I saw on your link tree site, that you had $5.
For a trial. I think that's a really good thing to it. At least check out like a lot of people are going to listen to this podcast hopefully, and just be like sold. I need he and my life. I need her podcast and my life, which hurt your podcast is amazing. Lots of thinking interviewed also. But if you're still not a hundred percent, Jordan, you just need to dabble a little bit.
She is offering for $5. You can just go in and have a five day trial. So thank you for offering that to everybody in the show notes, I'm going to link everything and I'm also going to bump you to the front of the line. Cause we talked a lot about the quarantine. I can't publish this episode in August. Oh, I'm just going to go ahead and bump you do that.
We're going to publish this episode, you know, when it's irrelevant, like during the quarantine and you know, hopefully together everyone, we can become unified and we can. Figure out a way, how to best support mama's right now in this quarantine that are scared, that are Irving getting ready to birth, preparing for their birth, you know, so that we make sure that we are at this platform, your platform, my platform, it's all about reducing birth trauma, you know, great experience.
And I think that, you know, it starts with he heats. So let's. Everybody on board in your birth lounge. I loved talking to you and I will let you know when I hit publish. Okay. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. And for all of your listeners out there, I want to give you a special code to save $5 a month on all of your memberships.
So you can use the code birth story checkout, and you'll save $5 a month and that's relevant two, six and 12 month packages, tier one and tier two. So. Birth story at checkout. Thanks for hanging out with me. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Let's um, let's have a world with no birth trauma. That's my goal.
Let's have a world without birth trauma.
Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.